|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2010 8:05 pm
I had a friend give me a book the other day about "Modesty". It was very interesting, and (I have to admit) even though I am not the same religion as she, I do agree with most of it. The thing I most liked about the book was that it explained in great detail why her religion acts, dresses, and does the things they do.
I also liked how it affirmed femininity without the tired and much often regurgitated dogma everyone around them tries to pin as the reason for their method of modesty.
So, in your culture/religion/family, what does the idea of modesty mean to you, and how does it play a part in your life?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 5:59 am
Well to me modesty is dressing in a respectful way to yourself and husband/boyfriend/mate. You don't bare it all. I wore a shirt the other day that was pretty low and I went tto my husbands work, which is full of guys, and was kind of uncomfortable. I kept pulling it up and adjusting it. But I wear things like that for him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:26 am
Well, naturally, 'modesty' is about 'self-respect'. To me, it's about being comfortable with yourself without going overboard, and also making others comfortable with the way you look.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:47 am
I don't find myself too fond of modesty. I care about my boundaries and the boundaries of others, and I care about not looking tacky, and I dress in ways that make myself and others comfortable but, for some reason chalking it up to modesty feels constricting to me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 5:58 pm
Dressing I see as a small part of modesty but not the entire picture. The whole of modesty to me has to do with not placing one's self above others and avoiding any type of action which could potentially advertise the self above others.
For instance one can be modest about one's actions instead of boasting.
It comes back to self respect, but also a respect towards community/others.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 7:38 pm
Growing up on the rez,(well, on the border of it anyway) there were a lot of things I did not experience that I guess explains the current cultural method...
I was expected, as a woman and future member of our society, to behave in a certain manner. Part of that behaviour was how we were expected to dress and what manner we spoke to others. I grew up wearing pants and dresses, but I was allowed to wear pants only while I was helping out on the farm, and not at school or when we went to town.
My mother and grandmothers taught us girls to respect ourselves and those around us. Because it bothered my grand father, we did not wear sleevless dresses or go around in cap sleeves. It bothered my grand father because in his day, women wore longer sleeves... so we wore our sleeves to our elbow... Only recently has this become an issue... Hardly any one out there makes t-shirts with 3 1/4 sleeves.
Recently I have thrown out all my pant suits. I have fallen in love with this thing called a split skirt. Its awesome. I feel right at home wearing it, and i don't have to listen to my husband complain about me wearing pants anymore.... yeah, the truth is I love my husband, so I wear clothing that keeps him from threatening to burn my wardrobe because it embarrasses him. And, I have found that I don't mind not wearing those things anymore.
Modesty comes from the Latin word modestia whic mean moderation.
The dictionary I have carried since I was a child explains that modesty is:
1. the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.
2. regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.
3. simplicity; moderation.
But, as my friend is often quoted as saying, Modesty goes so much deeper than just that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:41 pm
Lateralus es Helica Dressing I see as a small part of modesty but not the entire picture. The whole of modesty to me has to do with not placing one's self above others and avoiding any type of action which could potentially advertise the self above others. For instance one can be modest about one's actions instead of boasting. It comes back to self respect, but also a respect towards community/others. This is how I feel about it all summed up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:30 pm
Eponishta Growing up on the rez,(well, on the border of it anyway) there were a lot of things I did not experience that I guess explains the current cultural method... I was expected, as a woman and future member of our society, to behave in a certain manner. Part of that behaviour was how we were expected to dress and what manner we spoke to others. I grew up wearing pants and dresses, but I was allowed to wear pants only while I was helping out on the farm, and not at school or when we went to town. My mother and grandmothers taught us girls to respect ourselves and those around us. Because it bothered my grand father, we did not wear sleevless dresses or go around in cap sleeves. It bothered my grand father because in his day, women wore longer sleeves... so we wore our sleeves to our elbow... Only recently has this become an issue... Hardly any one out there makes t-shirts with 3 1/4 sleeves. Recently I have thrown out all my pant suits. I have fallen in love with this thing called a split skirt. Its awesome. I feel right at home wearing it, and i don't have to listen to my husband complain about me wearing pants anymore.... yeah, the truth is I love my husband, so I wear clothing that keeps him from threatening to burn my wardrobe because it embarrasses him. And, I have found that I don't mind not wearing those things anymore. Modesty comes from the Latin word modestia whic mean moderation. The dictionary I have carried since I was a child explains that modesty is: 1. the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc. 2. regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc. 3. simplicity; moderation. But, as my friend is often quoted as saying, Modesty goes so much deeper than just that. Just outta curiosity, what Rez? There's some of these rules of modesty that correlate with the Rez I live near. The general white and native population have similar ideas of what (mostly female) modesty is. They tell us white kids in church that, when we get older, our underwear changes, and so it's easier to follow these rules now instead of investing in a new wardrobe. Such things are: no spagetti straps, sleeves would be great,no v-necks (unless there's a cami underneath), no midriff baring tops, skirts and shorts should hit the knee, maybe can go a little above, no tight clothing, and they've even gotten after boys when the baggy pants were popular saying even guys have to follow modesty rules.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 8:38 pm
For me personally, it is a two part thing. First, it is about self-respect. I value myself and my body and I take sexuality seriously, so I'm not going to go around wearing provocative things and letting people treat me like a piece of meat.
Secondly, it's about humility. Modesty in dress is just one part of modesty in every aspect of life-- not bragging, provoking, or demanding.
It is not about rules or shaming, though. Modesty in appearance should be an extension of a certain spiritual maturity and right attitude, not an expectation placed on someone by one's peers or culture.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:22 pm
Honestly, I don't find a lot of use for modesty.
First up, modesty of dress: My main purpose in a certain amount of modesty of dress is for the comfort of others and that only goes so far. In certain situations, I'll dress appropriate to the place and people I'm among; If I go to a church dinner with my grandma or visit the home of someone who has very strong views on such things, for example; but everyday is another matter. I won't flash my underwear at you and you'll probably never see my belly but I'll show as much leg, shoulder, or whatever else as I wish. I'm comfortable with my body and I'm not intimidated by the opinions of others and I don't see the body as something shameful.
Now for modest behavior: My opinion on this can basically be summed up in one word. Meh. I mean, don't be a jerk who always has to have the spotlight, but if you did something awesome, why not acknowledge it? It's not "Look at me! Look at me!" but rather appropriate pride in one's accomplishments and confidence in one's own abilities. Hell, even my religion doesn't seem to have a great deal of use for modesty.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 2:55 am
the French say Muslims are wrong for insisting that women dress modestly, that this somehow robs them of an essential freedom.
wrong.
a culture that demands that any working woman look like a prostitute (just check out the ladies out for lunch in Chicago's Loop on a weekday) is robbing us of freedom.
modesty is liberating
and revolutionary.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 10:10 am
chessiejo the French say Muslims are wrong for insisting that women dress modestly, that this somehow robs them of an essential freedom. wrong. a culture that demands that any working woman look like a prostitute (just check out the ladies out for lunch in Chicago's Loop on a weekday) is robbing us of freedom. modesty is liberating and revolutionary. I'd say having the option to be modest or not, and not being vilified or shamed for either, is liberating. Forcing either extreme on anyone, male or female, is robbing a person of their freedom. Giving people the option to choose as they please is encouraging freedom. So you go ahead and choose modesty for yourself and I'll choose something a bit more audacious and we'll both be happy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 1:18 pm
Modesty for me is a life-style, not necessarily just a way to dress. For me it means dressing and conducting oneself in a way that is respectful to both yourself and those around you, and basically representing yourself in a way that is honorable to your religion, culture, family, et cetera.
For me that means speaking respectfully, being an honest and upstanding person, and dressing in a way that - while appealing to my fashion sense - isn't so revealing that I look or feel like a prostitute.
I veil a lot too, by covering my head with a scarf, but that isn't necessarily a modesty issue like most assume, more it is a reminder to remember the to honor my Gods, and to conduct myself respectfully. And honestly, I feel kind of sexy when I veil. There's a sense of power in being in shorts and a tank, but having my hair covered, as if it's a solid statement that what I do or don't show off is my own decision.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 19, 2016 4:04 pm
I am a modest person,
but to me this means not bragging, or showing off mostly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
