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 Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:37 pm
He awoke in a cold sweat, jet-black fur rising like needles pushing up from his skin. His muscles began to twist and mutate, becoming bigger, and stronger. His face grew longer, into the muzzle of a wolf. He could feel his heart pulsate wildly as the clothes he was wearing began to tear into tiny shreds of cloth. His teeth grew into glistening fangs, dripping with saliva, his nails into deadly claws.
The transformation complete, he smashed the wall and ran, hoping to find shelter for the rest of the night. He neared the end of the woods, and saw lights coming from the houses of a small town. He bounded toward them before he could stop himself.
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 4:43 pm
I like it (as you know)
could do with mor description of the suroundings though. And maybe take more time on the transformation. Draw it out a bit so that we can see it happening, feeling the bones lengthen and crush eachother to make room for the biger muscles. im sure this can't be comfortable, so make it sound more painful, more intense. <3
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:07 pm
Pretty good. Except what wall did he break? A wall of what? Add more detail please. Only alittle. And is your story going to be a short story, a long story, or what will it be? Please tell me cause this story seems good. I'd like to read it.
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:13 pm
sweatdrop In the first line it's implied that he's in bed in a house. Just a normal house by the way. And I don't know if it's going to be long or short yet, as I don't normally plan the length of a story, I just write and see where I go ><
@Venom, I'll try to add more details about the transformation, make it longer. The reason I didn't is that it's not my style. I'm usually pretty blunt when writing sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2010 7:15 pm
i like it! with the advice from cloom and venom, it could be a wonderful story
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