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 Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:51 pm
Aakosir Lateralus es Helica Aakosir Lateralus es Helica Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk I'd deny it but I do it myself. Then again, I know which point in my life pointed me in that behavioral direction. In my case, when I was growing up I was one of those extremely high IQ children, actually had a laboratory set up in my bedroom kid you not. Then, I get raped for several years by a family member and start flunking out of all my classes, making me miss the opportunity to go to a specialty school that was specifically designed to groom budding scientists and mathematicians, moved my way thereafter to minimum wage work, drug use, all the classic symptoms. Although recently I actually forgave the rapist and I haven't had nearly as many inadequacy issues, but again I knew specifically where that seed germ stemmed from. (It helps as well finally breaking free of the minimum wage for 15 hours a week cycle as well.) I'm going to give it more time before I draw any hard conclusions about the power of forgiveness to change one's behavioral patterns though. I'm sure Freud would still be proud. I did it mainly because of my journey into Theravada Buddhism. Forgiving a rapist is one thing I never thought I'd do previously, actually I used to think they all deserved the death penalty. Now...it was actually sort of a relief to let that hatred go. Letting go of extra baggage. And you're welcome. I wish I could be more help! If you were in the Dallas area I'd be of more support. cool
And thanks. I probably said this earlier, but I haven't made any friends here yet. The two people I know just kind of blow me off... In the guild or where you're actually living?
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Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 10:23 pm
I never did agree with "out of sight, out of mind"... confused it just never worked for me, no matter how hard my mom tried to drill it into me. xp she's such a fluff, though.
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:34 am
Lateralus es Helica Aakosir Lateralus es Helica Aakosir Lateralus es Helica Chieftain Twilight it has nothing to do with him thinking you are inadequate. it is that what he does notice is that you seem to notice things he doesn't, and that you think lowly of yourself! look, i'm wanting to be the guy here to say that everyone on this thread should stop talking about the behaviors of men and women with such generality, but i can't realy do that effectively when i'm about to say what i am. it seems to me like ALL women think they arn't good enough, and have this drive to secure their significant other as though they could slip away on the slightest breeze. it upsets me. sad i hate seeing so much self-loathing in any group. i hate seeing these rivalries, and competitions between women and girls over the lifemates they want, the job positions they want, the wealth they want, whatever. i hate seeing people bow and scrape to unrealistic effigies of the human form. i hate to see cases of peoples' low self-esteem driving them to complete hysteric paranoia that they will somehow be kicked to the curve and left to die alone. it WON"T happen that way! gonk what can men do to convince the women they love to love themselves, and have some confidence, and to trust them, and to feel pretty, and to know that they are loved and wanted and desired? tell your husband what it is you need to see as proof, so he can get it for you. and while your at it, tell me what the secret is too, please? gonk I'd deny it but I do it myself. Then again, I know which point in my life pointed me in that behavioral direction. In my case, when I was growing up I was one of those extremely high IQ children, actually had a laboratory set up in my bedroom kid you not. Then, I get raped for several years by a family member and start flunking out of all my classes, making me miss the opportunity to go to a specialty school that was specifically designed to groom budding scientists and mathematicians, moved my way thereafter to minimum wage work, drug use, all the classic symptoms. Although recently I actually forgave the rapist and I haven't had nearly as many inadequacy issues, but again I knew specifically where that seed germ stemmed from. (It helps as well finally breaking free of the minimum wage for 15 hours a week cycle as well.) I'm going to give it more time before I draw any hard conclusions about the power of forgiveness to change one's behavioral patterns though. I'm sure Freud would still be proud. I did it mainly because of my journey into Theravada Buddhism. Forgiving a rapist is one thing I never thought I'd do previously, actually I used to think they all deserved the death penalty. Now...it was actually sort of a relief to let that hatred go. Letting go of extra baggage. And you're welcome. I wish I could be more help! If you were in the Dallas area I'd be of more support. cool
And thanks. I probably said this earlier, but I haven't made any friends here yet. The two people I know just kind of blow me off... In the guild or where you're actually living?
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:42 am
So he opened up to me last night!!! Yay! He did exactly what I posted earlier, about when he just goes off on a rant for hours. This one was about an hour and a half long. But I'm really glad he finally talked to me! There's a woman that he works with that is getting special treatment because of her situation {Kid and husband is going to a special officer's school soon}, but she claims that they are treating her unfairly. He said she dissapears when all of them are working and then they search the place and find her sleeping in the rack, the bays or in the truck. I suggested next time he find her he take an air horn and wake her up that way. But I told him he needs to be careful because she is the type of girl who will throw around her sex. She WILL no doubt try to get him for harassment if he does the air horn thing. But all the guys at the shop know about it and they all take turns searching for her and yelling at her. So yea, there's one thing that has been bothering him lately.
Then he scared the s**t out of me, but I'm going to have to make a new thread about that because I want to learn more about it. I was talking about the ghost in my mom's house, then the gremlins in this house that move things, then he said about gear gremlins that steal nuts and bolts and work, and somehow we got to his wolf. He said it is a huge black wolf with orangish yellow eyes that just stands there and stares at him. His cousin has seen it with him and when he was at boot camp other people have seen it with him. He said he's seen it like 10 times! And it's always staring at him! Comming from someone who is not religious, but believes in spirits and demons, that truly makes me wonder what that wolf is. So on to the new thread! I just didn't want to worry you guys when I said that he scared me. I was shivering! And trying to burrow down in the blankets!
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 3:14 pm
heh... Ghosts tend to do that.
anywho, I am glad that he talked. ^_^ now, just need to find a way to get him to do that more often... sweatdrop but for now, this is a victory. ^_^
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 6:09 pm
Chieftain Twilight heh... Ghosts tend to do that. anywho, I am glad that he talked. ^_^ now, just need to find a way to get him to do that more often... sweatdrop but for now, this is a victory. ^_^
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 7:12 pm
Aakosir Chieftain Twilight heh... Ghosts tend to do that. anywho, I am glad that he talked. ^_^ now, just need to find a way to get him to do that more often... sweatdrop but for now, this is a victory. ^_^ :nods.: I myself can sympathize with both sides of the relapse-into-the-addiction/obession-with-something problem.
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 7:20 pm
Chieftain Twilight Aakosir Chieftain Twilight heh... Ghosts tend to do that. anywho, I am glad that he talked. ^_^ now, just need to find a way to get him to do that more often... sweatdrop but for now, this is a victory. ^_^ :nods.: I myself can sympathize with both sides of the relapse-into-the-addiction/obession-with-something problem.
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Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:48 pm
Aakosir Chieftain Twilight Aakosir Chieftain Twilight heh... Ghosts tend to do that. anywho, I am glad that he talked. ^_^ now, just need to find a way to get him to do that more often... sweatdrop but for now, this is a victory. ^_^ :nods.: I myself can sympathize with both sides of the relapse-into-the-addiction/obession-with-something problem. heh.. stubborn people are stubborn. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:59 am
Chieftain Twilight Aakosir Chieftain Twilight Aakosir Chieftain Twilight heh... Ghosts tend to do that. anywho, I am glad that he talked. ^_^ now, just need to find a way to get him to do that more often... sweatdrop but for now, this is a victory. ^_^ :nods.: I myself can sympathize with both sides of the relapse-into-the-addiction/obession-with-something problem. heh.. stubborn people are stubborn. sweatdrop
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