|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 1:48 pm
I'm sorry, I have to ask. I need help and I don't really know what to do. I'll recap what happened the other night and please, be honest with me? And I'll say in advance, it's not a pretty story....
Last night I was with a guy friend watching a movie. It wasn't TOO late, about 10:30is when the movie ended. This guy has been talking for a long time about how much he loves me and how he wants me to stay with him. Well, when the movie ended he pulled me on top of himself (well, tried, I kept most of myself off of him) and gave me a big hug. He said that he just wanted to give me a hug. Well, next thing I knew, he had pulled me all the way on top of him and he was working on pulling down my pants.
I pushed against him and said no, telling him that I didn't want that. He kept pushing it, saying that I knew that I wanted it and it would be quick. I kept pushing against him and kept saying no, moving when I'd get enough freedom to cuz he'd hold me tight against him and not let me move. Well....he got me into a slightly pinned position and....well....I kept fighting him and kept saying no. If he managed to go all the way, but not for very long, that IS considered rape, right? And, would I be guilty in any way? I mean, for somehow opening myself to allow it to happen? And maybe if I fought harder it wouldn't have happened.....I just don't know what to do....But I don't want to turn him in. I mean, things have been really rough for him lately and though there was some pain to it, he didn't hurt me a lot. I just, I don't know if I've forgiven him or not, I don't feel anger or anything toward him, just numbness.
.....So, what do I do?.....
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 6:13 pm
If he forced you while you fought against him, you should turn him in. I would turn him in. I believe that you should talk to your Bishop and your parents.
He forced you against your will.
You should turn him in.
I do not believe that you would be held accountable for that incident. It was not your choice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:33 pm
Turn him in, for his own sake as well as the sake of others.
You're not guilty because of him, but if you hide it you'll end up in worse scenarios. Don't protect him because you know him. This is a common domestic violence issue, and it keeps happening because the victims feel attached to the perpetrator and even a little guilty thinking it's their fault as well. Don't protect him, he's sure not protecting you. He's no good. He didn't take any no's from you, he forced you, and now you're questioning it. Don't protect him. If he actually cared about you, he'd respect you and your choices, not force you into any uncomfortable circumstances.
Don't protect him, turn him in. That's the only way he'll get any help, and you even can heal. Also a good time to talk to the bishop I'm thinking. Everyone needs healing and support during these kinds of times.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2010 9:47 am
I agree with the above advice given. Turn the guy in, talk to your bishop, and you are not guilty because of what that guy did to you!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:29 pm
Thanks, guys. Well, found out that the cause of what happened was due to head trauma he received when he rolled a 4-wheeler. Shortly after that happened, he had an attack and we nearly lost him. We got him checked out and an old head injury had been reopened from the rollover. So in a nutshell, he was considered handicapped when that happened....
I haven't talked to a bishop yet because I don't know which one to talk to. I'm moving to a different area really soon and I hadn't had a chance to get into a ward here, so I'm still unsure of which bishop to speak to....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 8:33 pm
I think you should speak to your old bishop. He in turn can contact your new bishop and give limited details on the incident. Both of them can help you.
And I hate to seem crass but a head injury is not an excuse for what he did to you. Head injury or not, he took away a part of you that will never come back. He should be put away for that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2010 3:09 pm
I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure that lack of judgement to the degree of raping someone is not a typical symptom of a head trauma. Don't let yourself justify what he did. You need to tell your local authorities that you were raped. Too many women talk themselves out of reporting such things, please don't be one of them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:45 pm
I have to agree with what the others have said. Head injury or no, there's a distinct right and wrong about this. you said no, you fought back, and he didn't relent. Remember what I said about defending the guy? If you don't turn him in now, he won't get any help. If the head injury is really a contributing factor, then this has to be reported so he can get real good help. otherwise, you won't be the last victim.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:42 am
Sounds to me like the fault lies completely on him. You did not ask for this, nor did you consent, therefore you have done nothing to justify taking blame or feeling guilty for. I do agree that you should turn him in. If he did this to you, he can do it to someone else. Turn him in for the benefit of both you and others that this could happen to.
Pray, and speak to your Bishop. If you are moving and will have a new Bishop, speak with him as well. If you do not know who the Bishop is or how to contact him, look for the missionaries, or another member who can get you in contact with the Bishop. Be faithful and prayerful and all will work out for you!
I truly hope all works out well for you!
Nephite wink
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 4:54 pm
You did nothing wrong.
What he did was rape. And if he didn't get that far, it is still sexual assault.
If you haven't already, you should definitely talk to your bishop. He'll give you the guidance you need.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 7:01 pm
I suggest turning him in, he forced you.
Also in the For the Strength of Youth book it says:
Victims of rape, incest, or other sexual abuse are not guilty of sin. If you have been a victim of any of these crimes, know that you are innocent and that God loves you. Seek your bishop's counsel immediately so he can help guide you through the process of emotional healing.
So you have no need to feel guilty, you did nothing wrong.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
