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 Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 12:04 pm
"Yes," A simple answer, but it was all that truly needed to be said. Holding out a hand to Clurie, she led them away from the fireplace, using the heated air to rise back to the table. It wouldn't, after all, do for them to be discovered amongst the coals. Chauhn might have a heart-attack.
At the sound of footfalls in the hallway, she sent the ash excito a somber look. "You will only be of help if you continue to to discover your own, true self, Clurie. Trust what is inside, not outside, and know that you can not help many, if you always choose the one."
It was cryptic, of course, but her goal wasn't to provide sudden clarity. It was to provide something for the little fellow to actually turn over in that head of his. Perhaps he would find his own answers.
Within moments, Yizhaq would enter the room, Chauhn at his heels, each to collect their respective plague.
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Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 2:28 pm
Clurie had held onto her, looking at her every moment that he had, smiling so that his colored cheeks puffed out underneath the lip of his hat. He admired the way the feathers flapped about her clothing, quiet, wild, and yet tethered into place. She knew control. Clurie, unfortunately, didn't. While she was wild and free, but yet somehow exactly within the boundaries she needed to be, Clurie was unpredictable, scattered and clingy, ignoring the concept of control entirely. But hopefully, with her teaching, he might be able to contain himself one day, pull together into something regal and noble like her. She was like a knight from one of the stories that Clurie insisted Chauhn tell him every night before he went to bed, tales about the warrior wizard Clurett and his adventures through nobility and honor.
But the phrase that she had said to him last, coupled with a gaze of somber severity, confused him. He had taken it in, swallowed it whole, but he hadn't taken to chewing over it was that she had said exactly. The words that she had said, things like "discover", "true self" and "inside" versus "outside" tumbled within him like ribs knocked out of place, painful, alarming, and odd. Had he something he had lost? Something that he hadn't yet realized? Was he meant to look for something in particular or stumble upon it? What was inside and why did it have to be inside instead of outside? Clurie didn't know. But he was good at asking questions, of being curious and mulling over things. What he did know was that this phrase was hauntingly reminiscent of something that a certain golden eyed Anhelo had told him not so long ago at the carnival, certain doubts instilled in him by the appearance of the NotClemms family.
What troubled him then, the moment that they settled down and his hand was still tightly intertwined with Hayat's, were those echoes, those reoccurring questions, that bitter taste of doubt that seemed to haunt him no matter which way he turned. When Chauhn returned, an honest look of relief and love on his face, to scoop him up into his palms and nuzzle against him with his cheek, Clurie could only halfheartedly nuzzle back. He was distracted by the repeating and strengthening echo of Hayat's cryptic hints, of the Notclemm's confusion, of his own voice unsure and defending, of Adal's voice in his head, pressing, pressing, pressing:
"Do you even know who you are?"
"Do you even know who you are?"
"Do you even know...?"
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