Welcome to Gaia! ::

Where Imagination Becomes Reality

Back to Guilds

Best place for readers and writers to chill 

Tags: Reading, Writing, cool, critique, role playing 

Reply The Writing Workshop
Prompt One- Describe A Prison

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Bumblepaw

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:38 pm


The marks on the wall show slashes. No, I'm not crazy. They show how many years I've been here. I stopped after a while. Than started again. After so many decades your only enjoyment is the few visits from the outside world, and the satisfaction of scraping another line into the stone wall. Though at the same time you feel a heart-breaking sadness. It's been another 356 days. 52 weeks. But than you remember- and the releif you don't have to pretend anymore makes you feel better. You don't have to blend in among humans, or try that is. You- I-am cursed to live forever. In this prison.

((I tried.. sweatdrop ))
PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:32 am


I really liked this. Although I think you should have described the cell more. And I think the story was very short lived. I wish I could read more about that place. Very interesting.

0drizzt0

6,450 Points
  • Forum Sophomore 300
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Invisibility 100

Hybrid Defect

PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 4:06 pm


It's good but I agree that you could have made longer and more detailed.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:53 pm


I would switch your numbers to give an illusion of stretching time instead of condesing it.

I liked this piece. I agree with the others that it was a little short, but I felt like I was reading poetry with out the spaces. I think that if you changed this into a free form poetry format (stick an enter space between the sentences) then it is a great piece of work.

Ultimate Blond
Crew


Deafening the Silence

6,400 Points
  • The Perfect Setup 150
  • Invisibility 100
  • Peoplewatcher 100
PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:53 pm


Also, I wish it had been longer.

And maybe I'm just being a little off today.. but I thought it was 365, not 356? But I could be wrong.
Reply
The Writing Workshop

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum