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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:44 pm
This was awkward. I was in a school restroom stall reading the O.M.G. post with three other girls. A few years ago, a bunch of seniors came up with this way to know all of the juicy gossip without it tracing back to the person who wrote it. “Jason Leno broke up with Tami Cad?” I asked Annelyn as I read the post. Annelyn was one of my best friends in the whole world. “Yeah, he caught her making out with his football teammate,” she confirmed matter-of-factly. Annelyn or “Anne” we called her for short had long brown hair that flowed down to her waist. “Hey, I have volleyball practice after school next Tuesday. Want to come watch?” I offered. Max shook her head. “I’m stuck watching Bobby the snot face,” she wrinkled her nose. “I suggest you move out of my way before I get angry,” Delane Motchiwitz snapped as she tapped her stiletto heel. “I suggest you go get a nose job before prom comes or you’ll be dateless,” Annelyn snapped back just coldly. “Ouch that really hurt my big fat ego!” Delane shouted. Just before they were about to claw each others eyes out, I stepped between them. “Both of you need to stop!” I yelled as I pulled Annelyn back to the O. m .g board.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 6:58 pm
Hey, can you introduce yourself in chat? That is one of the rules, after all.
But anyways, I do see potential in this story. It has great grammar and to the point, I know what the characters are doing. The story can use more voice, though. Know what I'm saying? It needs a bit more personality, especially in a first-person point of view.
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