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 Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 12:46 am
im thinkin theres realy no point to continue my journey. ive spent 15 years alone, without so much as a real friend, im not one to give up without a fight but this fight has been drug out way to long, and it hurts. how is one lost uke to survive in a world that cannot see him? and what purpose does an artist have with no canvas or audience to project their soul upon?
i guess it doesnt matter where i post this message online, this is simply where i spend most of my time and words from people 100s to 1000s of miles from me only mean so much
i feel like a waste of a bright spark, and im so very tired of searching for someone or anyone
thanks, any who take the time to read this and even more so any who may care about my plight (though outside of the real world people can only care so much)
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 2:22 am
Well hold on there. What's going on that made you come to this? Is the fifteen years you spent alone your whole life? Or did you start counting after a certain age?
I spent most of my life alone, unable to find or talk to people. It wasn't until after high school that I made any real friends or connections, so are you sure that you want to give up now that you're finally exploring who you really are? Something that doesn't quite happen before the teenage years?
As for searching for someone, I've found that my real friends came to me without my searching them out. There's a point of nirvana you have to reach before trying for relationships, and that's finding out who you are and accepting yourself. Once that happens, then you'll find that people will naturally come.
Don't give up yet, there are people who are out there for you, people that will care and love you, and if you just burn out, then they will have never known you, and they will miss that. Fifteen is such a young age, please give it a bit longer.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:11 am
im not a teen, and i never went to highschool, i left my family years ago and have been wandering states here in the west US for a long time, alone. its been so long that i cant seem to shake the feeling of isolation, i allways feel like im on the outside of EVERYTHING and im the only one here. everytime i hear tales of good freindship it fills me with a dull ache and a longing for something ive never had (even the musicians i idolize owe much success to good friends that cared)
I have known many brief aquaintance's and passing faces (generally interested in one thing), but nothing real or solid
i thank you for your reply and appreciate your time
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:27 am
In your wandering, have you ever thought of settling in one place? Obviously home wasn't where your family was, but was there ever a place that felt right at all?
I'm not sure what else to say other than that, but I don't want you to give up just because you haven't found anyone yet.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 10:57 am
i enjoy Portland OR. its a beautiful city full of interesting/excepting folks (and homeless stare )
thing is, i hate sleeping on the streets, especially in the cold, so i try my best to have a roof to sleep under (though its not often an ideal situation) and that takes me all over the place. To actually settle down would be great, but it would require good stable income (something i dont and never have had) and time enough to save up to get a studio or a flat (a concept that scares me somewhat, sweatdrop i cant even drive a car)
other people my age dont have these same issues, i suppose i sealed my fate when i first dropped outa school and started running
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 11:07 am
Depending on your age, I can't house you, but I could try to become your friend, pop on down to santa rose CA. I'll give you a chance, as I usually do to people.
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Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 11:18 am
thats very kind of you, but if i leave where im staying now its back to the streets (till i find another place to stay for a little while) if things turn sour here (as they inevitably do) i may head down to say hi. thank you for the kind offer
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Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:14 am
loyalpet im thinkin theres realy no point to continue my journey. ive spent 15 years alone, without so much as a real friend, im not one to give up without a fight but this fight has been drug out way to long, and it hurts. how is one lost uke to survive in a world that cannot see him? and what purpose does an artist have with no canvas or audience to project their soul upon? i guess it doesnt matter where i post this message online, this is simply where i spend most of my time and words from people 100s to 1000s of miles from me only mean so much i feel like a waste of a bright spark, and im so very tired of searching for someone or anyone thanks, any who take the time to read this and even more so any who may care about my plight (though outside of the real world people can only care so much) Dont give up! You'll find someone!
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