Welcome to Gaia! ::

If you've ever been in marching band, you probably have heard of "senior privileges" or something similar, where the senior class gets special things that no one else does.
Usually it's not much.. first in line for water, first to get on the bus, etc.

Anyway, the seniors in my band take things too far.
They're mean and rude and uncontrollable.
They say awful things to and about other band members and the staff and parents.
They're rebellious, too. If the BD asks them to do something they yell at him and do the opposite.

Because I am one of the only seniors that doesn't act like the rest, and I am also the drum major, parents are always coming to me and telling me their kid came home from band crying because of something a senior said/did to them and asking me to talk to them and make them change.

And for awhile, I tried. I would tell them they need to settle down, and stop being so rude to everyone.
Just because you're a senior doesn't mean you have the right to be an a*****e.

After trying to stop them from being rude and complaining about everything for a week, they started being rude to ME.
They started calling me a b***h and self-centered because I was "trying to control the band".
People would come up to me after band and say, "Guess what the seniors said about you today?"

And then last Saturday, we were at our first competition of the season.
Only 10 minutes before the drum majors were to line up on the field for awards, the seniors decided they wanted to come on the field too.
In the past, the seniors would only be allowed to go on the field for awards at the very last competition of the season.
Since we hadn't even prepared a salute, I told them I didn't think we were prepared enough and to wait until the next one.
They took it as if I said they can NEVER come out, and took the situation to the BD.
They told him that the seniors go on the field at EVERY comp and since it's his first year with us, he believed them.
I tried to convince him that they were lying, but he didn't know who to believe.
A huge fight started and our BD said no seniors.
The seniors got furious because "I got my way"
Which wasn't what I was trying to do! I just didn't want us to look stupid and unprepared.

Anyway, since that night, none of them have said a word to me.
I haven't been invited to the weekly senior dinners.
And people are STILL coming to me complaining, or telling me they overheard a senior gossiping about me.

I just don't know how to deal with it.
My BD won't do anything about it. He's basically oblivious to it all, even after I've tried to tell him what's going on.

What should I do?
It's making me so miserable and stressed all the time..

You could tell your school principal because they are doing it ON school time. Who cares if all the seniors are suspended. Their fault.

Report them for hazing and just general rude behavior. You can get them kicked out of band, if you need. Talk to the Principal and go over your BD's head.

Say your band sounds like a joke when they keep messing around. Band is supposed to be uniform, which is impossible if everyone is not putting in their best effort. So these seniors are setting a poor example for the underclassmen and can gtfo of band! The DM is chosen to represent the band and your BD is supposed to trust you if they approved the position in the first place. What's with your BD not knowing what's up with the band. Don't be all accusatory since it'll just piss everyone off, or ignore everything so nothing changes, but find a way that suits you to get the message across that the band needs to get their act together. Maybe you guys don't have some tradition of excellence you are trying to uphold, but that doesn't mean it can't start now.

At my school, many of the underclassmen start out as slackers, but most of the upperclassmen keep setting a good example, and it shows them their potential until they get in the spirit of things :] Oh and make sure you have responsible section leaders. Talk to them and then have them talk to the seniors in their section to keep things at a more manageable level for you. Keep in mind, some people will stay jerks for a long time, but if you want things to change, you just can't let that get to you. Jia yo!

Do they realize how stupid they're making themselves AND your band look all at the same time?

Do they realize what other people, schools, judges, and band directors think when they see that kind of behavior?

I had seniors like that my freshman year and I felt so bad for the nicest senior girl who was a boss Tuba player. Just because she told her boyfriend he was immature, making himself look stupid, and disrespecting the band (after saying all of this she dumped him), the seniors played nasty pranks on her, like posting fake nude prostitute and nude photos all over the school.

And I most definitely agree with other comments. GO OVER YOUR BD'S HEAD. If he's not willing to deal with something that serious, then you need to go one step higher. There is no reason to feel miserable when doing something you love.

I should know, my BD after the first year (after I graduated, I still went to the games) started getting lazy when it came to the band and now is oblivious to the fact that they're feeling humiliated and are close to falling apart.

I totally understand how you feel and being such a huge band nerd, it tears my heart when I see stuff like this happen.

Hang in there and remember, you're the one choosing to not lower yourself to the stupid other senior's standards by going about doing things the right way. Besides, it's very tough being a Drum Major, especially when you have people like that in band.

But like said, go to the principal because no offense, but it doesn't sound like your BD is going to move to the music any time soon, or at least in my opinion.

I really do hope this all works out for you, especially since this is the beginning of the year. Please let me know how things work out, k? Just hang in there, you can do it smile