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 Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 5:36 pm
~* Waking Up to Nightmares *~ "Broken moments in time could still shine
But they're getting old
If you could see this world with my eyes
You'd be so surprised at what you'd know."- The Tea Party (Gone) Lady_Ourania Equus awoke slowly, as though he had to swim through layers of dark, glassy water to find the surface of consciousness. It was a long, winding trip and partway through he couldn't determine if he was going toward the light or falling deeper into the shivering blackness. Then a small warmth touched his upturned face and the boy continued onward, hopeful and trusting of his instincts.
When he broke through the last obsidian sheet, it was to take in unfamiliar surroundings with a pounding headache in addition to an upset stomach. The room was tiny and obviously not meant to be lived in: There were medicinal supplies scattered in places, crisp white bandages sharing space with infusions in amber-colored bottles. He suspected that it was a healer's room where Fey were treated for wounds.
Had he been hurt? He certainly felt like it.
"Hello...?" He called weakly, internally recoiling at the raspy sound of his voice. The young Fey pushed the blankets back, feeling too hot and uncomfortable for them to remain on. It did not help that they smelled oddly, a mix of old herbs and magic that tickled his sensitive nostrils. Valar Morghulis Ursa, attuned as ever to the needs of her patients, slipped in quietly through the door. She looked at Equus for a moment before deciding what to do. "Hello, Equus. Do you remember me?" she might as well get that out of the way for now.
Walking smoothly, she moved over to sit on the foot of the sickbed he was lying in. The poor dear looked horrible, and he had that distinctive pinch in his eyes that signalled a headache. She gently put a hand to his forhead to check his temperature. Who knew what side effects that vile magic had inflicted on him. Lady_Ourania He hadn't anticipated being responded to so quickly, nor had he expected his name to be on foreign lips. The boy's tail gave an anxious twitch beneath the blankets and he quickly scooted over to give the woman some room to sit.
"No, ma'am, I'm afraid I don't," Equus answered somberly, a faint blush taking up residence on his face when she touched his forehead; it took every scrap of self-control not to pull away from the stranger's careful hand.
"Should I?" He asked after a terrible pause, grey eyes wary of the answers this Fey might hold. He remembered the violet clouds of light and his tiny muscles bunched, as though ready for a fight that was already over. Valar Morghulis Ursa glanced away for a moment, mentaly cursing the Moon court and whatever vile sorceress had done this. "Well, I'm Ursa, and I'm the healer and shaman for the Sun Court," she said, turning back to give him a kind smile. "And I think you have a headache, right?"
She got up and fished around for a moment before finding what she wanted: a bottle of some sort of extract, a waterskin, and a cup. She filled the cup with water and carefully put ten drops of the extract into the water and swirled it around before handing it to Equus. "Here, drink this, it whould help." Lady_Ourania He listened, wondering what it was he wasn't being told. At the shaman's question, the Fey gave a short nod, too polite to ask outright what Ursa was keeping to herself. He tried to return her well-meant smile, but his expression was so obviously forced that he dropped it after a moment.
Equus took the cup between two hands so as not to spill, looking down into the mixture with mild interest. "Thank you," he murmured, drinking the draught deeply and trying not to pull a face at the saccharine taste. He offered it back to her once the substance was gone, wiping his mouth with a sleeve.
"Um..." He looked around, tempted to peek under the blankets to see if he was bandaged anywhere; it was difficult to tell since the low throbbing ache was everywhere. "Miss Ursa, did something happen to me?" he asked finally, an apologetic look crossing his features at having to resort to asking her. Valar Morghulis Ursa sighed and sat back down on the bed. This was going to be complicated. "Short answer: Yes. A couple of days back, you and Pappila, another of the Sun Court Fey, were...well, for lack of a better word you were attacked by a Moon Court Spell. It caused you to revert to the age you were when you were freed from the curse, and apparently erased all of your memories, or at least a lot of them. You remember the curse, right?" Ursa had wondered just how much the spell had effected the two children, but this was the first time she had gotten to ask one of them.
Although, she supposed, If they are reverted back to the memories and abilities of when they were freed, then Pappila couldn't tell me much anyway. She was too young to speak when we were sealed away, if I remember correctly. Lady_Ourania The sudden, huge insight washed over him like a cold tidal wave, and he had to summon a calmness from the most shadowy corners of his mind in order to stay in control. The healer had asked him a question, he had to answer.
"Yes, I remember the curse." He said, voice tight with inheld emotion. The Moon Court had attacked him? For what reason? Had he done something to one of the Fey there? Equus was frustrated to the point of tears that he couldn't remember, but he absolutely refused to cry in front of Ursa, or before anyone else for that matter.
The blank state of mind he encountered when he tried to think back before the amethyst spell did not improve his headache, but he noted that it was fading due to whatever drink the shaman had given him.
Who was I? He wanted to ask, What was I like? Was I even half as brave as my father was?
But he couldn't ask those burning questions, couldn't rely on another to tell him of the life he had lost. The boy curled his knees up against his chest, laying his arms across them and putting his chin on one limb.
"Why was it only me and Pappila?" he asked quietly, deciding it was safe to ask at least that much. Equus had been blindsided, but like any warrior worth his salt, he was getting back up again and assessing the damage done rather than letting the news overwhelm him. Valar Morghulis This was going to be worse than she had thought. Why was it that boys always tried to keep everything bottled up inside? It never really helped things, and almost always made it worse.
And why did he have to ask the questions that she didn't know the answers to?
"To be perfectly honest, I do not know for sure why the spell targeted you and Pappila. I have to admit, I felt a certain...draw...from the spell, as though it was looking for somthing that I shared with several others. I have no idea what it was, though..." Ursa left unsaid her wondering if it was connected to their Kithain. She had no practical evidince of that, nothing to prove or disprove her theory. Lady_Ourania So the others had felt it but only he had fallen to it? Equus winced, putting a hand over his face as though his head still ached to hide the gesture. He wanted to remember everything: interactions, battles, terrors faced and put to rest; but there was only that chilling nothingness, only thoughts of his pre-cursed existence and what had occured while he dwelled in the stained panes of a window.
"Is Miss Pappila okay?" He didn't know her, but there was worry enough to go around and it seemed only right that he direct a portion of it her way. Equus actually felt somewhat badly that he hadn't considered the other's condition before, caught up as he was in his own troubles.
There was no sense in pressing the issue of what had happened anyway. Ursa appeared to have no idea beyond what she had disclosed, and it made him incredibly uncomfortable to keep speaking about the matter. Valar Morghulis Smiling only slightly, Ursa got up to stand next to the bed. "Pappila's just fine now, she's physically as healthy as you are. Thing is, she was trapped in her window before she could talk, so she isn't even as talkative as you, Mr. Stoic and Noble Knight." Ursa frowned, thinking for a moment before she continued. "I think that you are going to be just fine, so...you can go about whatever you want to as long as you follow a couple of rules. First: You must stay inside the castle at all times. Second: You have to check in with me regularly. Third: I want you to spend at least some of your time each day with one of the members of the court having them teach you somthing. OK?" Lady_Ourania He took in her words, eyes unfocused and mouth set into a hard, unyielding line that looked misplaced on the face of one so young. He allowed the knight comment to slide, not truly understanding if Ursa was attempting to mock him or simply allude to the profession he had once held.
Was I a knight? I made it that far and I was still too weak to fight off one little attack?
"Yes, ma'am." He said dutifully, sliding out from underneath the sheets to come to a stand. Equus was still sore in places, but he did not dispute the shaman's claim that he was fine: The wounds he held weren't of the visible sort.
"Do I have a room somewhere?" He questioned, tilting his head toward the door so that she wouldn't spot the crestfallen expression on his face. "I don't... I don't remember." Valar Morghulis Offering Equus a hand up, Ursa begins to exit the room, but stops, and kneels down so that she can look him in the eye. "Alright, I'll show you to your room on one condition." Her smile became only slightly flinty. "That condition is: You arn't allowed to blame yourself for this, or call yourself weak. This was the kind of thing that is the responsibility of a mage or shaman, and even I could not do anything to prevent it. The King said as much when it happened. The only way you can recover from this, and therefore qualify as being well and able to leave my care, is if you accept that this was not a failing on your part. I know you will, since you were and will be the best warrior I have ever seen, short of the King himself." Ending her short lecture, Ursa smiled at her young charge. With luck, he would come out right. Lady_Ourania It was his father's disapproving face in his mind that kept the boy's mouth from dropping open in surprise. He hadn't expected that he was being quite so obvious about his disenchantment with the current situation, but then he was merely a child and adults were confusing at their best moments.
"I don't know if I can do that, Miss Ursa," He said honestly, wings giving a brief flap of uneasiness. He would have preferred to tell her precisely what she wished to hear, but the Fey felt that lying at this point was a bit underneath him.
After a lengthy pause, Equus offered her a shy, uncertain smile. "But I will try, because you asked me to."
And because you think that I can.
"Is that alright?" He really wanted to go to his room and see if there was anything familiar, but at the same time he was afraid that the objects he had likely handled mere days before would be just as alien as everything else. Valar Morghulis Never let it be said, Ursa thought, that knowing ones patients is a bad thing. She nodded, and then stood up and started out of the door, turning back to look at him once she was in the hall.
"Well? Are you coming?" Lady_Ourania Equus nodded quickly and moved to tail her, pleased that she had accepted his compromise. The boy was still tired, and sincerely hoped he had a cot or something to sleep in once he reached his quarters.
He didn't want to think about the spell which had caused him to lose him memories and years any longer, at least not until he'd had a chance to absorb what he had already been told. Perhaps when Pappila was older, he could speak with her about it as well: she was the only other who knew exactly what he was coping with.
Now if only he could be certain she wouldn't scorn him...
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 1:34 pm
~* In With the Old *~ "Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone.
Part of me is fighting this,
But part of me is gone."-Three Doors Down (When I'm Gone) It was the first few moments of absolute silence in his room that he found to be the most difficult, as though he had infringed upon a private sanctum and was silently being admonished for it; the atmosphere had grown more dense and unfriendly, and the dark was broken only by the single candle which had been lit before Ursa had left him.
There was a sword and shield against the far wall, the rest of the structure taken up by a bed that was at least three times too large for even his muscular build; the other three walls were void of any possessions save a cherry wood bureau. It was a plain room to be sure, primarily undecorated and in sore need of a woman's touch. There was a dull ache around his heart when that thought passed through his consciousness, but he had no way of knowing where it emanated from.
He waited for a few moments, making certain that Ursa was indeed gone and somewhere down the hall returning to her apartments before he began a more thorough search of the premises. He took out the drawers, caring little for the mess he was making as he tossed clothes which would no longer fit to and fro, hoping to find something, anything that was his and his alone: a journal, a letter, some scrap of leather with an etching, anything that would rekindle his obliterated memories. But there was nothing, only the clothing, a dagger, and some accumulated dust in the back of one drawer where it had held only emptiness and dark.
His disappointment intensified to almost painful depths, but he shoved the feelings away in order to carefully refold the tunics and other articles, rough-soft fingers brushing against the materials almost wistfully. He had fit into them once, he supposed he would do so again at some point or another. Until then he decided to put them in the bottom drawer so as not to view them constantly and be reminded of what they meant.
Once the exercise had been completed and Equus was left with nothing to do, the Fey found his regret flickering higher at having told Ursa he was fine on his own. He didn't like the feeling of desolation he encountered in a room he did not recognize amidst personal paraphrenalia which he could only weakly claim as his own.
The boy paced, something he found to be both calming and irritating. Had he paced as an adult? Maybe he had already known what to do without having to consider it at length.
Everything in this room was his, well used and tended by him. There was no reason he should be nervous about touching it, taking it up and reasserting his bond.
He went instinctively to the broadsword that leaned in its scabbard against the wall, staring at it with piercing raincloud eyes. The hilt had a leather grip which looked worn and stained, with sweat or blood he could not be certain. The Fey grabbed the pommel with both hands, hauling it toward him so as to be able to catch it with all his weight. The weapon was heavier than he expected, and it nearly dropped from his inept hands when he discovered this, but he still maintained his hold and instead went down with a graceless thump on his rear to keep from dinging it.
He adjusted the sword so that it laid across his lap, pulling determinedly at the hilt to separate steel from sheath. It came out a few inches, enough for him to be able to admire the folded steel with childlike wonder and touch the cool, newly sharpened blade with one slightly chubby finger. It was beautifully crafted without the frills that one sometimes found on the hips of those who frequented royal courts, and he fancied it instantly.
"I don't remember your name..." Equus whispered apologetically, leaving little fingerprints along the polished metal as he appreciated the solidness of it. "But I promise that I will remember how to wield you right... when I am old again."
The blade was unsurprisingly silent, but the smothering feeling in the room lessened and he did not feel quite so misplaced.
It took some effort, but he managed to slide the sword back into its container and settle it against the wall. Even the small exertion left him tired, likely influenced by the spell which had wiped the slate of his mind clean.
When he was certain it wouldn't clatter over, he went to the bed and pulled himself onto the mattress, settling in the firm middle and curling his knees up to his chest. His tail settled over his ankles, warm enough to suffice for a blanket as he was too weary to pull the comforter out from under his body. Within minutes, he was asleep, breathing in the scent of a future knight.
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Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 6:58 pm
~* Seeking Silence, Finding Fragments *~ "Traveling is not just seeing the new; it is also leaving behind.
Not just opening doors; also closing them behind you, never to return.
But the place you have left forever is always there for you to see whenever you shut your eyes.
And the cities you see most clearly at night are the cities you have left and will never see again."-- Jan Myrdal He woke hours later with a foul taste in his mouth and a kink in his back from sleeping in such an unusual position. Equus straightened painfully, licking his dry lips and trying to recall where he was while he combed down his wild thatch of hair with a few fingers. He paused halfway through the motion, memories flooding back into his consciousness without the smallest bit of regard for his feelings on the matter.
The Fey sighed, glancing around his depressingly empty room before sliding off the bed and trying to decide on a further course of action. He was nothing if not methodical, but his need to be in charge of his own fate had been so bruised that he was left uncertain and hesitant.
I'm not doing a whole lot of good by sitting here though...
What he truly needed to do was get out of his room and reacquaint himself with the rest of the castle layout. Simply moping in the enclosed space would set a bad example for Pappila, who was going through the same trauma. Besides, Ursa had commanded that he not leave the castle, not that he stay sealed in his quarters: He broke no rule by exploring.
But then there was that one, wispy little voice that said no one would want to see him, to interact with him as he was. The boy was cursed, touched by some evil magic that those of Castellum Umbra had concocted and possibly a danger to the people who dwelled the Sun Court.
Equus swallowed thickly, rubbing his arms at the goosebumps which had appeared along his tanned skin. He was indeed a liability now, especially since no one - not even the court's shamanic healer - knew exactly what had transpired to turn back his internal clock. What if the King requested that he leave? That he collect his things and live outside of the castle boundaries? He would not disobey a direct command, especially one from his sovereign even if he had yet to lay eyes upon the man since his regression. The Fey recalled the stern, somewhat distressed masculine words of someone instructing for he and Pappila to be cared for. He hadn't seen the other's face, but knew now that he had been shamed not only before people he no longer had recollections of, but also before his King.
"You aren't allowed to blame yourself for this, or call yourself weak."
But then who was there left to blame? The Moon Court, of course, but unless they had tailored the spell specifically for him, he was also partially at fault. Since Pappila had fallen to the magic's lull, he knew well that the casting had not been done due to personal vendetta.
He wanted to curl back into his bed and stay there, but he managed to ward the impulse off long enough to realize it would do little good to hide under the sheets when the monster he was fleeing from would be there with him.
The horse Fey went to the door, opening it a crack and peering out into the hallways. The nearest window allowed grey-blue light to filter in, hinting to the boy that it was early morning and anyone else was unlikely to be awake. He cautiously exited, pulling the door closed behind him and trying to shake off the feeling that he was already lost. Equus glanced down the corridor where Ursa had led him, deciding against retracing his steps and instead taking the stairwell further down.
Complete lack of knowledge when it came to the layout of the castle did not work in his favor, but the boy did not mind reworking a mental map of the place to be utilized later. Perhaps he could find an actual illustration of it somewhere, from a scholar or architect, presuming either were actually available and willing to chat with him. Until then, memorization was the only option and he would not deny himself the chance to do so when the halls were largely unoccupied.
He saw several other doors which could have led into rooms, none of which he approached for fear of waking up the individual on the other side. As he hit the ground floor, the doors became less polished and bore the signs of heavy use. Equus found the kitchen by following his nose, and the laundering room in much the same fashion. The boy somehow felt more comfortable there, even though there were already signs of other Fey moving around and getting things ready for the oncoming day.
Equus skittered away before a cook or cleaner could catch sight of him, deciding to continue his wanderings and further advance his understanding of Argentus. Whenever he heard footsteps, he'd duck down or slip into the nearest crevasse and wait for the person to leave. It was almost game-like, and he felt a bit silly for the attempts at stealth considering the hulking size of his body, but it was preferred to having someone run away from him, or worse yet, pity him. He didn't know if he could take those looks coupled with the fear of being turned away.
When he opened a door to find himself outside, Equus felt a sudden stir of panic. Ursa had made him promise not to leave the castle and he was mere seconds away from breaking his vow. But when he spied what looked to be stables nearby, he coaxed out the thought that he was still technically inside since the horse lodging was indeed a part of Argentus.
Guilt-ridden for the minor infraction but still determined to see the beasts that the stables housed, Equus snuck closer, slipping into mostly open area and trying to move stealthily through the structure to examine the equines that resided there.
Several pairs of eyes turned to look at him, some immediately going back to their sleeping state while others lingered in hope of spotting treats. He couldn't have explained it, and dared not consider it for too long a time, but the boy felt instantly less vulnerable, as though he had finally come upon something he was familiar with even though the memories were gone.
He moved forward, patting velveteen noses as he passed and smiling when one horse nibbled on his fingers curiously. Another animal, a mare, whickered to catch his attention, tossing her head and half-raising on her hind legs. Equus approached quickly, hoping to quiet the female before she woke the stablemaster and he was given a swift kick in the rear for coming so early.
The boy stroked her pale white face, running his hands over the smattering of black on her muzzle and admiring the brown-red splashes of color that decorated her body. He spared a glance at the placard which declared her name, chuckling when she began to lip at his hair. "Altaea... that's a beautiful name for such a pretty girl."
She snorted in his face, apparently not impressed with his attempts at flattery, and continued to nibble almost affectionately at his silvery hair and the tips of his pointed ears. He pulled a face and moved away, rubbing her nose while moving up his shoulder to remove the moisture left behind. "Silly girl... I like you too."
He hesitated, shooting a nervous glance over his shoulder before opening her stall and letting himself in, hoping that this wasn't the Queen's steed. Out of old habit, he picked up her hooves and looked to make certain nothing was stuck in the U-shaped feet, giving a small yelp when Altaea bent her elegant neck sideways to butt his back with her head.
"You have a good stablemaster," He conceded, finding the mare to be in perfect health with a gleaming coat and not even a single mite in her attentive ears. "I wonder if he would allow me to come back and ride sometime..."
She nuzzled him, determinedly placing her face in his chest and demanding more attention. He half-laughed, complying by running his calloused hands along her neck and through the curled waves of her hair. "Would you mind if I stay here for a while?" He questioned suddenly, feeling much more comfortable than he had been in the four walls of his old room. "Just for a little while. I'm still a bit tired..."
Altaea stared at him with golden eyes, nostrils flaring contemplatively before she pushed his chest hard enough to make him land on his rear in a thankfully clean patch of hay. He laughed outright, cutting it short because he suspected the noise might attract someone, and patted one of her legs. "Thanks, girl. Warn me before the stablemaster comes in, huh?"
She neighed almost agreeably, something that made him shake his head amazedly as he laid down, inhaling the scent of horses and relatively fresh hay. Equus smiled drowsily up at Altaea before his eyes fluttered shut and he fell into an easy sleep.
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Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2006 2:50 pm
~* Re-learning the Ropes *~ "Better to light one small candle than curse the darkness." - Chinese Proverb Shiaree Muris had seen what had happened with Equus and Pappila. She had retreated quickly afterwards, not sure what to do and with the intense sort of determination to just go and get back to work to drown out the thoughts that only those who are intense enough to get into their work that much have the ability to do. It was like going out to drown your sorrows in beer, only without the alcohol and with a lot more horse manure.
It'd been a little while since then. She had known as soon as he was in the stables that someone was there-- she could hear the soft whickering of the horses that alerted her to it. But she'd been busy cleaning tack, and saddlesoap isn't the most pleasant smell in the world, so she decided to put off greeting the stablecomer until she'd finished and cleaned herself up a bit.
By that time, however, the boy was fast asleep in Altaea's stalls. She found him easily enough, what with the horse's contented whickering at her master's return. And certainly, she wasn't one to object to someone spending quality time with their horse...but, sleeping in a stall with a horse could be dangerous, no matter how well the horse knew you. Muris herself never dared actually falling asleep in Alucina's stall so much as just outside of it, where she could still get the warm breath of her second favourite person on her hair and face, but didn't have to worry about the horse mis-stepping if she too fell asleep.
Gently, Muris opened the stall door, whispering,
"Equus...Equus, dear, wake up. If you need a nap, I'd suggest putting a pile of hay outside the stall, rather than in it." Lady_Ourania He came awake quickly as the unfamiliar voice invaded his thoughts, the first blossomings of a fighter's instincts spurring him from his dreamless sleep and to the waking world.
Equus sat up, hair prickly with hay that had become entangled in the silvery locks like cheap, decorative trinkets. He blinked blearily, mind trying to adjust from the steady ebb and flow of sleep to a world that made only fleeting sense nowadays. When he realized that he'd been caught, he shook off the cobwebs, embarrassment flooding his features.
"I'm sorry miss... I was having trouble sleeping in my own room." He stood, putting a hand on Altaea's side to haul himself up and gather his wits. The boy bit his lip, looking at the mouse Fey shyly from beneath his bangs. "Please... could you not tell the stablemaster I was here? I didn't do anything to the horses and this mare was just so kind to me..."
She didn't judge, she didn't ask, she just let me sleep nearby and guarded me from the outside.
"If you have to tell him, I suppose I would understand..." He added defeatedly, stroking Altaea's shiny mane almost wistfully. Shiaree Muris laughed gently. She was glad to have finally met the horse Fey. It was something she'd always hoped she might do, but had never had the chance to. It was a little strange seeing him like this, with no knowledge at all of who she was.
"I'm afraid that'll be a little difficult, Equus. You see, I -am- the stablemaster. Or mistress, if you would."
She knelt down, pulling a few bits of hay out of his hair,
"And you are of course welcome to come here as much as you like. Being the horse Fey, I'd assume it would feel a bit comfortable here. And besides, Altaea missed you."
The horse snorted an agreeable response to this, snuffling Equus' hair happily. Lady_Ourania His mind blanked for a moment before his complexion took on a deeper shade of red from mortification. Of course she was the stablemaster, that would explain her presence and the way that the horses were reacting to her, but the fact that he hadn't put that together right from the start was not working in his favor.
I just told the stablemaster to lie to the stablemaster. Great.
Equus startled when she moved to touch him, horsetail sweeping and gaining still more hay into its tresses. "Oh... thank you." He replied quietly, standing still so that she could finish her work and trying not to fidget.
"Um... whose horse is she?" He asked after some of the scarlet flush had fled from his skin. Equus thought he had a fairly good idea now, but he was unwilling to take that final step only to be disappointed. When Altaea stuck her nose back into his hair, he smiled and patted the side of her face gently, turning his face back to the stablemistress. Shiaree Muris smiled,
"She's yours."
She had heard that both Equus and Pappila had completely lost their memories. This was a little sad for her, as she remembered very well herself and Pappila curled up reading stories together until Eirnae came back into the room.
She hadn't seen Pappila much after that, though. And she hadn't seen her since the incident.
The mouse finished pulling the hay out of his hair, ignoring the bits that were now gathering in his tail,
"If you want, I'll give you a boost and you can get up on her now..well, if we take her out of the stall, of course. You wouldn't want to hop up with her still in here." Lady_Ourania A simple two words, and yet they made his breath catch in wonder. He turned to look with gleeful astonishment at the spotted horse, forgetting that he was supposed to remain immobile so that the hay could be picked out of his hair.
"She's yours."
For a moment, he feared maybe it was some sort of joke being played on him, and his slate grey eyes flicked a little fearfully to the stablemistress' while he bit the inside of one cheek. Her next offer, however, was more than he could stand.
"Yes, please, ma'am." Equus said immediately, cheeks heating with something other than embarrassment for once. The little boy was undeniably excited at the opportunity, and it took more effort than it should have for him to stop from throwing his arms around the woman's neck and hugging her. Shiaree If anyone knew how he felt, it was the woman standing in front of him. She remembered just exactly how excited she had been at the prospect of hopping up on one of the Fey horses' backs when she'd first been re-awakened here in these very stables.
She gently took Equus by the hand, leading him out of the stall, and Altaea's halter in the other hand, doing the same with her. It was only a mere few seconds before the woman had knelt down again with her hands out and locked together, ready to give the boy a leg up.
"I'm Muris, by the way. We've never met before." It would probably be a bit easier for him, if he knew that she wasn't someone he ought to remember. If he had even been informed that he'd forgotten in the first place. Perhaps she'd have to explain that as well-- just in case he encountered another Fey he -had- met before.
"Did they tell you about what happened to you? About the forgetting?" Lady_Ourania He allowed the woman to take his hand, trying not to show his discomfort at the gesture. His palms were hard from working with his practice sword, and it didn't seem appropriate to hold it against hers unless he knew her better or was related to her in some way.
I'm not related to her, am I?
Her hands were nearly as calloused, which made him feel infinitely better than if they'd been the soft flesh of nobility.
Equus stepped up and hauled himself onto Altaea's back, smiling brightly at how right and natural the movement felt. He patted the horse's long neck, glancing down at the mouse Fey as she spoke and feeling relief flood him. So there was at least one person he wouldn't have to struggle to recall and who would not entirely mind his state of cluelessness.
Her next words made him still, his hand pausing in its soothing strokes across Altaea's neck. "... Yes, Miss Ursa told me what happened." He said quietly, feeling suddenly very small despite his increased height on the back of the horse.
He stared hard at the silken condition of his mare's mane, swallowing back the onslaught of self-deprecation which pricked and deflated even this moment of happiness. Equus had nearly hoped she hadn't known when she'd said they'd never met before, but now he found that life was simply delivering one knock after the next. Shiaree Muris nodded in sympathy,
"It must be hard to deal with. All these people who know you, but you don't know them. I didn't know if you'd met up with anyone yet, and I didn't want you to be upset if you came across them and they didn't know."
She took the horse's halter, changing the subject expertly-- she knew how uncomfortable he must feel, though not precisely as she'd never gone through quite what he was,
"Do you think you can handle her on your own? Horse riding is so instinctive, maybe you still remember how to do it."
She smiled,
"I wouldn't be surprised, you being the horse totem and all." Lady_Ourania The horse Fey tried to warm to the change of subject, though he still felt like crawling away to hide his shame for a while longer. He was already on Altaea, however, and it wasn't fair to the mare to get on only to get right back off and run off in search of a place where no one could find him.
"I think I can do it," He responded carefully, trying to return her smile out of politeness more than any show of real pleasure. "Thank you, Miss Muris."
He took up the reins, clicking his tongue and pressing his shoeless heels gently into the mare's sides to see how sensitive she was. Altaea snorted, ears pricking at the noise, and started out of the stables and to the outside at a steady walking pace. Shiaree She grinned,
"Please, just Muris. Or Muri, if you prefer."
She watched as the two of them rode off, following to make sure that nothing bad happened. She was sure he'd be fine, but you never knew. If something spooked Altaea, for instance, and he fell. Even Muris tried to make sure there was someone about most of the time when she was riding..just in case. Lady_Ourania It took a moment for the tautness of his muscles to loosen, but once he had he pushed the horse into a canter, body moving instinctively with Altaea's. He straightened, smiling genuinely for the first time in a while as he considered how wise it would be to try a full-blown gallop.
He lifted a hand to Muris to show her he was fine, having to adjust his balance slightly to remain on the mare while he did it. The stablemistress was right, it was so familiar to him that he found it difficult to imagine having gone without for so long. Shiaree Shiaree spotted the mouse-Fey immediately. She didn't know where Muris had been...but she had spotted her out in the pasture with whomever it was on the horse from Aquae's window. The woman carried the little girl carefully in her arms, and Aquae seemed very mellow about the whole deal. She watched the horse cautiously. She wasn't entirely sure what to make of the creature, but it was quite probably dangerous given its size. She snuggled back against Shiaree. Whatever. She was warm and comfy and quite safe here in this woman's arms. "Muris!" the elf called, trying to attract the other woman's attention, "Muris. I need your help with something." Muris blinked, noticing Shiaree quite suddenly at the sound of her voice. She'd been absorbed in watching the clean lines and beautiful stature of Altaea, really. She was becoming less and less worried about Equus,
"Sissy?" she asked, curious about the Fey child in the woman's arms,
"Who is that?" Lady_Ourania Equus frowned slightly when he saw the new individual approaching, wondering who she was and why she was calling to Muris. He slowed Altaea's pace to a walk - something that the mare was not thrilled about but complied with anyway - and went closer to see what the little bundle of turquoise in her arms was.
When they were close enough, he brought Altaea to a stop, curosity in his strong features. It looked like a child, young and perhaps a bit unconcerned with her surroundings. Not to say that she was unaware, merely that she didn't feel threatened as he would have - as he did, somewhat, though it was lessened by being atop his horse.
The Fey knew that ettiquette demanded he say some sort of greeting, but he couldn't be certain what rank this woman and her child were. The one Muris had called Sissy was dressed in strange clothes, and there was something about her which was completely off, but he was unable to pin down precisely what was bothering him.
He waited for one of the women to either tell him off and send him back out in the field or explain what all the fuss was about, his hand running a course down Altaea's strong back. Shiaree Shiaree smiled, her dark violet hair falling into her eyes a bit as she bowed her head in greeting, "Hello, Equus. I didn't wish to interrupt your lesson, dear. I merely have something important to ask of Muris," she said, by way of explanation. Aquae watched this newcomer with fascination. She wasn't sure how she felt about Altaea, but Equus seemed nice enough. And smaller than either Shiaree or Muris. Closer to her size. She motioned at him with her arms, indicating something, though she wasn't quite sure what. Maybe just her interest. Maybe she just wanted to move her arms about.Muris nodded,
"What is it you wanted to ask me?" she redirected the elf's attention to the situation at hand.Shiaree blinked, "Oh. I'll need your help in looking after little Aquae..." she said quietly, "I can't be here all the time, and she's too little for me to leave her by herself.." Lady_Ourania The Fey couldn't help but wonder how many times he would have to hear his name from a person he did not know or could not remember. Flustered, he gave a short nod, showing that he did not mind the interruption and that the two women should continue chatting.
Movement in the strangely clothed female's arms attracted his attention, and he glanced down to the little girl whom he presumed was part of the current discussion. His horsetail moved curiously, shimmering against Altaea's flanks and dislodging some of the straw that had been caught in the silvery curtain.
What was it that she wanted? Was he any good with children younger than himself?
Equus dismounted, sliding off with his mare's help as she came closer to the ground to accommodate him. Petting her neck and rubbing her snout when she thrust it into his hands, he held Altaea's reins in one hand and cautiously approached, wondering what it was the young lady expected of him. His silver eyes darted up to Shiaree's and he paused, realizing that what he was doing might not be warranted; especially since he had just recently been subjected to a spell of the Moon Court. Shiaree Shiaree smiled, noting Aquae's interest in Equus and kneeling down to let the toddler get a better look at the other now that he was off of his horse. Muris blinked,
"You want -me- to look after her?" she asked, eyeing the small one carefully,
"The lake, hmm? Do you think she would be all right staying in the stables with me?" Aquae carefully climbed out of Shiaree's arms, showing herself just a little older than even Shiaree had suspected her to be by her coordination. She stayed away from Altaea as much as possible-- she didn't know what to expect from something that large-- but, she was interested in Equus,
"Aquae." she said, pointing to herself. Her voice was still quite childish, but it was obvious she had at least -some- ability for speech. Shiaree tried not to tsk in disapproval. A small child near horses may not be a good idea to her, but she hadn't been raised among the creatures herself-- instead being locked away inside a temple. She supposed for some people-- Muris for example-- this would be completely normal. "Well...I suppose. I don't expect there's any other way you could look after her and still do your job." Lady_Ourania He put a hand to Altaea's chest, stilling the mare before she stepped forward to examine the little girl who was showing such interesting in her warrior. The horse snorted, hinting at her displeasure, but remained where she was for now, ears alert and nostrils flared.
Equus smiled at the little girl, leaning down slightly so that he was closer to her height. "Good evening, Miss Aquae." He greeted with a small bow, awkward in his already inclined position. "I'm Equus, and this beauty here is Altaea."
He gestured to himself at the first name, and to his sulky mare at the second, hoping that the little girl would recognize the difference between them. She was very tiny, though more active than he would have suspected and apparently eager to interact. Shiaree Aquae thought about this "miss Aquae" business a moment, and decided she liked it. Nodding at his words, she pointed to the creature,
"Altaea," she said, then motioned to the boy, "Equus." She stared at the behemoth behind him a moment. Whatever it was, it didn't seem to like her much..."Don't worry, sissy," Muris assured the other,
"I don't think she'll get too close to the horses." she was observing the girl's actions out of the corner of her eye, and felt it was safe to say that Aquae wasn't about to attempt riding at least until she grew into a teenager, if then,
"But...well, I don't know much about taking care of children..."
She blushed, thinking that one day she would have to take care of her own...hopefully though, she would be sharing that responsibility with Alces. She smiled at Equus,
"Equus, I think Aquae likes you...though Altaea certainly doesn't seem to enjoy her much." Shiaree was keeping an eye on both the little one and the horse, as Altaea certainly did not seem to relish the idea of sharing her master's attentions. Not surprising, really. Alucina could get a little sulky if Muris was near and not paying attention to her sometimes. She smiled at the boy, "I apologize. I'm Shiaree, by the way. Muris told me about your position and your name, but I'm afraid I've never seen you before. You do have quite a horse-y look about you, though. You are Equus, are you not?" Lady_Ourania "Yes, that's right." Equus said brightly, unaware of Altaea's grievances. "Equus and Altaea. Very good."
The mare lowered her head to chew on the material of his shirt and regain his attention once more, the action inciting a small laugh and a few pats on the face from the boy. "Tae, that's not food. Be good, please."
Some of his easygoing attitude dropped when Muris addressed him, the Fey's actions and words more guarded around adults who had known him in his previous life. "I'm glad she does... I don't think Altaea minds her too much though." He looked back at the mare as he spoke, curling a hand in her mane and closing one eye when she moved to rub her head against the side of his face.
When the foreign woman spoke, he leaned closer into the horse, as though subconsciously expecting her to shield him from probing questions. "Yes... I am Equus. It's nice to meet you... Miss Shiaree."
She didn't look like a noblewoman, but he was lost for a title beyond that. Having called the little girl and the older female the same thing was probably ill-advised, but he could think of nothing else to replace it. His face was heating up slowly, a low burn that was increasing in temperature as words continued to come out of his mouth. Shiaree Shiaree smiled, "The miss isn't necessary, dear. Oracles don't have noble titles. All right. Muris, I'm going to go ahead and get back to Gaia. You'll watch Aquae, right?" The elf adjusted her skirts, giving Aquae a quick kiss on the top of the head, "I should be back soon. I just have to make sure everything is set at home." Muris nodded, waving her away,
"Don't worry about it. She'll be fine." Shiaree wandered off, heading back to the gateway home. Aquae held a hand out curiously towards Altaea. She didn't really -want- to, but the horse wouldn't ever like her if she didn't make some sort of attempt. She didn't move any closer, though. Lady_Ourania Equus nodded when Shiaree spoke, though he hardly understood what he had just said. The word 'Gaia' caught his attention, making his fingers curl tighter in Altaea's mane, but he showed little outward response to it otherwise.
He calmed when the other female left, feeling somehow less threatened though Shiaree had not looked intimidating. At least she hadn't tried to ask about the spell or anything similarly terrifying: He wouldn't have known how to answer her.
Altaea looked down at the child, pawing at the ground and snorting. When Equus saw her mood, he gave a short whistle of warning, an action that sent the horse's sensitive ears back.
"Be good, Tae." He said once more, patting the mare's back to coax her.
Altaea whickered, seeming to consider this before lowering her head to sniff at Aquae's fingers. Equus watched her carefully, trying to make certain that the suddenly tempermental equine wouldn't attempt to take off a couple of tiny fingers. Shiaree Muris decided simply to watch this exchange. She was pretty sure Altaea wouldn't -actually- hurt Aquae, merely warn her away if she didn't want her near. And she really didn't seem to hate the child so much as feel a bit jealously guarding of Equus. Aquae let her fingers sit there, allowing the horse to sniff them cautiously and not moving an inch. She was smart enough to realize that moving could potentially scare the horse and that really, with a creature that size, scaring was not a good thing at all. Lady_Ourania Equus was relieved to see Altaea give one last disapproving exhalation before moving back to allow the small girl some space, her ears perked forward instead of back as they had been threatening. He patted the horse's rump, giving Aquae a tiny, reassuring smile to show that everything was fine.
"She's going to be living with you then, Miss Muris?" He asked, glancing back toward the stables and wondering how such a little lady would fare when it came to living in those conditions. Then again, it was likely that Muris also had a room inside the castle walls, even if she didn't utilize it very often. Perhaps the mouse Fey would stay there for a time while caring for her young charge. Shiaree Muris nodded,
"She'll be staying with me. I'm going to try to keep her in my room here in the stables...it'll be easier for me that way, but if things don't work out, we can always take up in her room in the Castle." Muris herself had never had any room other than hers above the stables, and had never had need for one. Though perhaps someday...well, that was in the future.Aquae toddled carefully back over to Muris. She'd had enough of the horse, at least, though she still thought Equus might be interesting. She just didn't want to have to go through that big creature to get to him...even if Altaea -was- being nicer now. Lady_Ourania "Ah," He watched the little girl wander back to the safety of her caretaker, his lips slipping back into the straight line they were so accustomed to. "Hopefully the other horses will take to her more easily. I'm sure Tae is just a little grumpy at me for staying away for so long."
Equus considered trying to place himself back onto the horse's back, but quickly realized that he would need the stablemistress' help. Deciding against asking, he gripped Altaea's reins in one hand and put the other across his abdomen so that he could bow courteously to both woman and child. "Thank you for letting me ride and allowing my presence without question. It was..." He paused, straightening when the mare nipped at his shoulderblade. "Nice." He finished, putting a restraining hand on her snout.
"I should be back to my room... it was a pleasure to meet you Miss Muris, Little Miss Aquae." Shiaree Muris smiled at the little boy, picking up Aquae,
"Ah. That's fine. I should probably get Aquae settled in anyhow. Do let me know if you need anything at all, though, okay?" she ruffled his hair gently and then headed back off into the stables
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Posted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 6:30 pm
~* Praying for the Light *~ "Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree." -- Martin Luther After making certain that Altaea was comfortably situated in her stall, Equus decided that he had spent his day very well and returned to his rooms to rest. As he scampered through the halls, the regressed knight nearly whistled with happiness, pleased at having made so much progress. The hours after he had woken, drowsy and incoherent from the spell, had been bad enough to make the child fear he'd never again experience the simplicity of delight: But being perched on his faithful mare's back once more had reawakened dormant aspirations and made the youth feel less uncertain. The effect was still strong by the time he made it to the gloomy little space that he called his own, spartan and entirely lacking in personality.
Equus flopped across his bed belly-first, making a short noise of surprise when the firmness of the mattress refused to give at all beneath his weight. The boy flipped over onto his back, staring up at the cold granite of the ceiling and tilting his head. His room definitely needed something, a splash of color that would break the mediocrity of his surroundings. He couldn't be sure what his older self had thought of frugality, but the plain state of his room was a pretty obvious indication.
The stalls are more decorative than this place... He thought with a heavy sigh, making a sound of discomfort when he found that he'd trapped his tail between his body and the bed and was pulling on some silver hairs. A few adjustments remedied the problem, and left the horse Fey to his thoughts once more.
The linens on his bed needed to be shaken out and perhaps washed, the material possessing a nose-wrinkling scent consisting of sweat, dirt, and what might have been blood. He curled into the blankets, eyes slipping closed as he considered what tomorrow would consist of. Perhaps he could go to see Aquae and Muris again, not to mention Altaea since the mare had not-so-willingly retreated to her stall.
The prospect of friends, even the tenuous thought, was heartening to him. The boy couldn't comprehend how crushing loneliness ontop of insecurity could have been. He didn't know if Muris would appreciate his company, and Aquae had simply been intrigued by him. But Altaea at least would be a lasting companion, stable and affectionate when he needed her to be.
Equus couldn't help but wonder what had happened to Pappila as well, concerned with how the girl was handling their entwined fate. He reasoned worse, as females tended to be more emotional and frail, though he hoped for the best. If he could speak with her, perhaps there would be some way for him to help her settle in, but first he would have to do so for himself.
He yawned widely, removing his boots when he remembered to though they had already sullied the bedspread. The Fey smelled heavily of equine and needed to bathe as soon as he was able, but he anticipated that he'd gone to bed in less than hygenic conditions before and could do so again.
By the time Equus was ready to drift off to sleep, the light had dwindled down to near nothing and he found that the shadows shifted unpleasantly in dark corners. The fourth time he startled to wakefulness to examine the suspicious wall or dusty underside of the bureau, the boy had already had enough. He couldn't say why the darkness made his heart beat faster and his stomach feel slightly more nauseous, but it did.
Oddly enough, the Fey found that pulling the dingy sheets over his head helped slightly, as though total and complete blackness as opposed to the shivering dank darkness of his room was less dismaying. Though he would not admit it out loud, or even truly in his consciousness, the little boy prayed for a nightlight.
And so he fell asleep, sheets pulled firmly over his head while he dreamed of color and light.
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Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 11:42 am
~* Vanishing Paths *~ "Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return"-- Vertical Horizon (Everything You Want) His door to the stables was gone.
Equus was sitting on the cold stone of the ground floor, staring at the blank wall, wondering if he had misplaced it somehow, or envisioned it in the wrong area. But the Fey knew that his sense of direction would not have betrayed him so utterly, the sheer, unyielding face of the structure nonwithstanding in his youthful mind. There had been a door there, one that he'd utilized countless times to see Altaea and maybe catch a glimpse of Muris and her toddler charge at work.
If the young horse had held any suspicion towards his own kind at all, he might have come to the ill-founded conclusion that someone was playing a rather nasty trick on him. But because his trust in those of Argentus was so ingrained, he instead suspected that somehow, some beast of the Moon Court had managed to sneak into his home, observe his movements, and then do something of just this level of ridiculousness to throw him off.
That idea died silently and abruptly, partially because he doubted any who resided in Umbra's holding would have had the ability to sneak into such a fortified place, regardless of their inherent stealth capabilities. But he directed his anger at them anyway, feeling that it was at least a bit constructive to his predicament though it was not.
Equus' wrath towards those who preferred to live under moonlight had not abated in the least. Given time and relocated to a child's place of no boundaries, it had grown into something that coiled like barbed wire around his heart and mind, a hate strong enough to bend him to its will and make the Fey almost unaware of how much it affected him. It was dormant now, supressed by juvenile thoughts and those around him, but it was growing, feeding off of him and tainting what it could given half a chance. Unaware, he did not stop it from happening. The number of events going on distracted him just enough.
There had been something in the air lately, a sort of unnamed dread that was weighing down heavily upon all in the golden castle's shadow. He had heard someone claiming that those of the Dark had been experiencing difficulties as well, but he had not bothered to let this information sink in completely, instead flinging it away from him as though it were a disgustingly large arachnid. It was probably just a rumor that the less honest Sidhe were circulating to lower his people's guard. They were not a trustworthy bunch, those who lived apart from the Sun; they were not to be believed. They had done him such an ill-turn that he was hardly capable of hurdling the possibility that there may have been kernels of truth in their words. The current issue of disappearing doors was all Equus could deal with just then.
He rose from his seated position to feel around the stone, his fingers slipping into the mortared cracks, hoping to find one that opened up all the way to the outside. There was nothing, however, and after a while the tips of his fingers ached from running over unevenly abrasive surfaces. The horse totem sat back with a huff, feeling a little sorry for himself despite his ever constant mantra that there were individuals out there suffering worse problems than himself. All he wanted to do was see his mare, breathe in her scent and wash her coat down even after Muris had done a fantastic job prior to it. He sorely missed his companion, the one who understood without words and appreciated any tiny gesture he made.
He knew that there were other doors out, but that his special, secret door had been removed was yet another sting that he did not feel was entirely deserved. If the Moon Court was in fact behind this latest travesty, then he swore to avenge that wrong as well as countless others. It didn't feel right to be so angry, but then it wasn't pleasant to be so viciously wronged either. The hate assimilated his thoughts and ferreted them away to be released later, when they would be most useful.
The boy left the spot he had been occupying for nearly an hour, his happiness for the day broken by the same curiosities that had been overtaking the rest of the castle, as well as its twin in the east.
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