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 Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 1:46 pm
So I'm a senior in college. [Can't believe I (hopefully) graduate May 2011, yaaaaaaaaay! biggrin ] But this is also the first time I've lived in the dorm/away from home; before this, I lived with my parents [who in a quick, blunt nutshell are abusive douchebags. Shall we just leave it at that? emo ]
Anyway. This should feel great and awesome, right? Like YAY I'm away from the people who hurt me, make me feel like s**t on a regular basis, and all that.
Instead I feel weird [since I live in a suite--share with 3 other people but have my own bedroom--ALL THREE of my roomies are freshmen. I have nothing against freshmen at all, but it can be really awkward because I'm hugely past where they are academics-wise and I never wanted to go out and party like some of them do. Still don't. I can legally drink and all that, but I don't see the point of getting plastered every Friday/Saturday night. blaugh ] and I feel lonely all the time. sad I guess I would have before, but the whole going home after class thing kind of made me feel otherwise. 'Cause, you know, home sucked but it was still home. And I had my dog. 4laugh heart I can't have pets in the dorm. cry Not that I could bring the dog anyway since he's not exactly just MY dog, but...damn it. xp
So there's that. And then I got a psychoeducational evaluation at the uni psych clinic. That sounds so fancy, doesn't it? blaugh All it was was a learning disorder evaluation. 'Cause I thought I had a learning disorder in math. So...this is what I tell the guy:
I've had problems in math since first grade.
I can barely do SIMPLE math problems.
I almost failed geometry. And algebra.
Yes, even though I did great in Calculus.
No, the only reason I did well in Stats in college is because my prof let me redo a test [yes, she did, and I love her for it].
I cannot use math in everyday situations...you know. Like balancing a checkbook? Lilli is FAIL.
I tranpose numbers. Phone numbers? Dewey decimal numbers at the library? The date? Yep. Not all the time, but enough to be a gigantic annoyance.
Oh, and on top of all this:
I have HUGE attention and concentration problems. I pretty much can't concentrate in class. My attention goes everywhere. The only reason I'm ok is 'cause I take tons of notes and doodle all over everything.
Oh, and my memory? Sucks a**. It really does. emo
[And on top of all this, I have a bunch of physical problems...and also have a lot of mental problems like PTSD, complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, sub-clinical OCD, tons of phobias, and still recovering from EDNOS...Gawd, why does my life have such a propensity toward suck gonk ]
So the guy. Who by the way does not really believe me because I didn't utterly FAIL everything related to math [way to make me feel good about trying my a** off there blaugh ]. Gives me some tests. Like the WAIS-IV, which is an IQ test.
Here are some of my scores:
Overall IQ: 106 emo [I don't like being average, but...oh well]
Verbal Comprehension: 125 eek Holy...wow. That is GOOOOD.
Working Memory: 111 Good...surprising, I thought I did horribly on all the sub-tests for this. blaugh
Processing Speed: 92 gonk
Perceptual Reasoning: 92 gonk
So basically. Although apparently my scores are technically 'average.' There is a thirty-three point difference between my verbal and nonverbal abilities. They won't officially say I have a nonverbal learning disorder, though, just "nonverbal learning difficulties." Grah.
Also. Took the Woodcock-Johnson Achievement Test. Scores were way better in all the language-related stuff. But...in broad math...
Math fluency: 4th percentile. I didn't know I could get that low of a score. rofl
Broad Math score: 30th percentile. This is average. eek WTF, that is not average, that is BAD.
And when the guy is telling me all this, he keeps emphasizing that I'm NORMAL. I started wanting to kick him. blaugh Like...ok, way to make me feel like I came in here for nothing, and I'm just a big whiny pie-face. Thanks a lot. I already didn't like the psych clinic because I got therapy last year for PTSD and anxiety, and it kind of sucked. Now I REALLY don't like the psych clinic.
So I now has no therapist. For a lot of reasons. Which I'm fine with, but...Lilli keeps having crying breakdowns and stuff. Which are not fun. sad
I don't know why I'm writing this all out, but...yeah. Hello. blaugh
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Posted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 3:49 pm
*waves*
check your vitamin B levels.
Make sure your not deficient.
It sounds random but i have my reasons.
and hello to you!
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Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 3:19 am
Lillielle So I'm a senior in college. And everything that came after... Honestly, it's something a lot of us go through but I'd say the fact that you're actually focusing on things and have a want for the better makes you above most. And don't let silly things like IQ get to you. I have a 149 and a piss poor job. Likewise I've never had an interviewer go, "and what, praytell, is your IQ?" I think you're fine gorgeous. You got this.
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 11:00 am
hello^^ i also finish in may. work and school are killing me D:
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Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 5:48 pm
I feel ashamed that I forgot about all of this. eek
I never did check my vitamin B levels...is there a specific reason I should? 4laugh
I still can't believe that it's like...less than a month. gonk Like eep. eek I am so not ready for that. I mean...to the point of almost wanting to sabotage myself or something so I don't. sweatdrop That would be...a point of huge fail. But still, the thought has certainly crossed my mind... stare
Also, that whole "I don't know if the freshies for roommates will work out" thing? Yeah. Don't stay with freshmen when you're a junior or senior. It will not work out. stare I mean, granted, I'm still here and all. 3nodding But I spend like 99% of my time in my room, avoiding them. They are immature douchebags...or at least can be. xp It...sucks.
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