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Dragonflight: An Alternative Pern (Old Guild)

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A B/C Pern Roleplay 

Tags: Pern, Dragons, Roleplay, Breedables 

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[trine] Kenzek - wherbrat/candidate [See Notes]

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waldo358

PostPosted: Sat Aug 21, 2010 9:31 pm


Character Name: Kenzek
Age: 13
Gender: male
Sexual Orientation: straight
Craft/Rank: weyrbrat/candidate
History: Kenzek is a thirteen turns old boy who was born at Trine Weyr. His fathers family of blacksmiths although his father broke that trend when he Impressed a blue dragon. As a journeyman he went to the weyr to study blacksmithing. He was there during a hatching and he watched from the stands. Much to his surprise he soon found that there was a blue dragon sitting in the stands with him. He stared in awe as he soon realized that he was being spoke to by the dragon that they were now partners.
Kenzeks mother was also a dragonrider however during the pregnancy she did not go between. His mother was a weyrbrat that Impressed during her second hatching. She Impressed a green who went straight to her. She and his father are weyrmates who met shortly after he Impressed.
As a child Kenzek new that his mother and father were dragonriders however he had no real interaction with them. The only adult in his life that he can remember was his foster mother since he was given to her as a child. She explained to him that both of his parents were dragonriders. He often after completing his chores would go to the weyrbowl and play with the other weyrbrats.

Description: Kenzek was of normal build for a kid his age, he wasn’t overly muscular but not a toothpick either. He has jet black hair and blue eyes. He Is normaly wearing a pair of tan pants and a tan shirt. He usually wears leather boots that go up to his calves. Kenzek is not very tall by any means. At thirteen he is only 4’9” but he uses it to every advantage.

Personality: at a young age Kenzek was always interested in learning new things. Although he was young he was surprisingly bright and was also very creative. He could sit down in front of a problem or puzzle and usually have a solution figured out in a couple of hours. He enjoys playing with friends especially if there is something challenging about it.
Being brought up in a crèche he was friendly with all the other weyrbrats. He has no problems with making friends and usually starts conversations with people that he barely knows or has no previous contact with. Although he did get along with the other weyrbrats he also got into his fair share of dissagreements with them as well. whenever he felt that someone elses opinion was wrong he was usuall the first to voice his dissagreement with it. Being friendly in nature he doesn’t look down upon stand impressions and will usually be among the first to congratulate the new dragonrider. As a well behaved child he was never in any trouble with his elders and respects authority in the up most. However he is also not afraid to speak his mind if he feels that his opinion is worth stating.
One thing that Kenzek has had a problem with is his stubbornness issues. If he gets something that he has a problem solving then instead of leaving it be for awhile and returning to it later, he continues to work at the problem until it is either solved or someone makes him take a break. He refuses to admit that he cant figure something out.
Kenzek also tends to rush into things without really thinking them threw fully, witch he also refuses to admit leaves him unable to problem solve to his complete capability. He’s not one who likes sitting around and waiting or observing. He prefers a more up close and direct approach to his problems.
along with rushing into things without thinking he also has a bad habit of of being snobby and thinks that what he says goes. this always gets him into trouble especially with the elders. though no matter how many times they tell him he just ignores them and continues on with what he is doing.

Other: na
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 7:14 pm


Hello and welcome!

There's a few things I need you to address before you can begin play here. In his History, you explain more of his parent's history then his own. Could you add another paragraph regarding his history? What his childhood was like - the sorts of things he did, wished for, and/or experienced? What were his favourite activities? How did he get along with the other weyrbrats in the Creche? That sort of thing - tell me more of his story rather then his parents'.

For his personality, can I get one more flaw? Stubbornness is a very common one, as is being impetuous. Perhaps he has a one-track mind? Or believes he's always right in his opinion, considering how bright he is? Something along those lines.

Once these few issues are addressed, I'll be happy to welcome you to the RP. =3

SkieBorne
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Dapper Gekko

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waldo358

PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 4:22 pm


changes made are in bold please review and tell me what else if anything needs work still thank you
PostPosted: Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:31 pm


Your personality is much improved but you haven't addressed the lack of information about Kenzek's personal history. Could you add some more information regarding that? The previous critique post had a few suggestions for you to use in your history.

Thanks~

SkieBorne
Vice Captain

Dapper Gekko

6,300 Points
  • Brandisher 100
  • Nerd 50
  • Entrepreneur 150
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