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Growing Up Inside and Out For Girls [pamphlet]


You have reached an age where you are not only growing - you are changing. Changing in the way you look and how you feel. Welcome to puberty, a time of growing up - inside and out.

Because you are unique, no one can say when these changes will start or how long they will take. Puberty in girls can begin at age 8 or at 14, and still be normal.

When puberty begins, your body produces more hormones. These hormones trigger the many changes that mean you are becoming a woman. These changes can create a lot of confusing feelings. At the same time you are growing up, you might worry that you are not "normal." You might be afraid that you will not like some of the changes that growing up brings. You might be angry that these changes are happening too soon, or not soon enough. All of these different feelings are ok.


Growing Up Outside

The outside changes happen gradually, over many years:

- First, your breasts will slowly start to form, but will take several years to reach full size. Do not compare yourself with other girls to see what is a "normal breast size." They come in all sizes. Your genes decide the size of your breasts.

- You will start growing hair where it never grew before - under your arms, on your legs, and in your pubic area.

- Then you will probably have a growth spurt - you will get taller very quickly, and your legs and thighs will get a bit wider.

You may also notice that you sweat more than you have before. This is normal. Keep freah and clean by washing every day, using deoderant and wearing clean clothes.

Puberty often brings skin problems. Hormones, bacteria (germs), and changes to your skin all contribute to outbreak of acne (pimples). Keeping your skin clean may help prevent acne. If pimples do appear, try using acne lotions, creams, and special soaps you can buy without a prescription. If soaps do not work, talk to your parents, a pharmacist, or a doctor.


Growing Up Inside

Hormones trigger changes inside your body that you cannot see. About 2 years after your breasts begin to form, your body will go through a monthly cycle that is normal to all women. At the end of each cycle, you will bleed from your v****a, or have a period. This is called menstruation. Each menstrual cycle follows this pattern:

- An egg gets ripe and leaves one of your two ovaries. These are small organs that have held hungreds of thousands of eggs since you were born. These eggs do not get ripe (ready to be fertilized) until you enter puberty.

- The egg travels down the fallopian tube, which connects your ovaries to your uterus. This is the organ in your body where a baby develops for 9 months before it's born.

- At the same time, the uterus is preparing a blood-filled lining for a fertilized egg.

- Once you start having periods, you can get pregnant. This occurs when a sperm joins with an egg (called fertilization) on its way to the uterus. A fertilized egg may then attach itself to the lining of the uterus and develop into a baby.

- If the egg is not fertilized, it dissolves in the uterus.

- The uterus slowly begins to shed its lining. This blood leaves a woman's body from her v****a for 2 - 8 days, and is called a period, or menstruation.

Your monthly cycle, like everything else about you, is unique. It may take your body awhile (from a few months to 2 years) to settle into a regular mentstrual pattern. No two girls have exactly the same cycle.

Menstruation is a normal, healthy part of being a young woman. Your day-to-day activities should not be affected. You can still take part in sports and activities such as horseback riding, swimming, and physical education classes. In fact, exercising may even help relieve the pain of cramps.

Some medicines, such as ibuprofen (Motrin, Advil) can help ease the pain of cramps. But if your cramps are so painful that they prevent you from doing other things, such as going to school or hanging out with friends, talk to your doctor.

Now that you can get pregnant, it is important that you make choices that will protect you in the future from having a baby before you are ready. Discuss this with an adult you trust, such as a parent, a counsellor, a nurse or your doctor.


Emotional Changes

Emotional ups and downs are a part of puberty. For example, you might:

- Be excited about the changes in your body one minute, and afraid of them the next.

- Share secrets with best friends in the morning, and fight with them in the afternoon.

- Feel like a grown-up one day, and a child the next.

This up-and-down ride can sometimes be explained by the changes in your body. Other times it is simply a sign that you are learning how to deal with new situations (such as a different school), new responsibilities (such as a part-time job) and sexual feelings.

You may notice other changes involving your emotions, feelings and thoughts. You are asking questions and forming opinions about the people, events and situations around you. You are probably thinking more deply about the things that matter to you.

At times, all these changes may seem overwhelming. You are not alone. Like other teens, you are going through a period of transition, moving from childhood to adulthood. It can be both scary and exciting at the same time.

Your parents are also going through puberty with you. They are often surprised, pleased, and confused by all of the changes that are happening to you. Try to remember that it's also a time of ups and downs for your parents. As you get more independent, your lives change too.


What About the Boys?

As you experience the many changes that puberty brings, you may be curious about what changes boys your age are going through. They are changing inside and out too.

- Outside: Changes for boys include growing taller, wider shoulders, and more muscular bodies. Their genitals - p***s, scrotum and testicles, grow in size. They begin to grow hair in new places to: chest, arms, legs, genitals, armpits, and face.

- Inside: Hormones trigger changes that cause their voices to get lower and their bodies to start making sperm.

Their feelings are changing too. Like you, they are beginning to have sexual feelings and are both excited and afraid of growing up. Sometimes they have trouble knowing how to handle all of the different emotions that this time of physical change brings.


Your Friends: For Better or For Worse?

Like many teens, you may sometimes feel more comfortable with your friends than your family. They understand your feelings and fears because they are going through the same stage of life. They let you know that you are normal, that your ideas and feelings are important.

Because having friends is so important, sometiems teens do things to make sure that they are accepted as part of a group. The influence your friends can have on you and your choices is called peer pressure.

Peer pressure does not just mean negative pressure. It can be positive too. Your friends and social groups may influence the way you dress, the music you listen to or the things you do with your free time. For example, peer pressure might encourage you to get involved in school clubs and sports teams, convince you to dye your hair or get your body pierced. Or it might also make you think about skipping classes, having sex before you are ready, smoking, drinking, or trying drugs.

Choices you make now can affect your health in the future. Talk to an adult you trust about ways to make your own choices that let you stay true to yourself without losing friends.


Getting It All Done

You know that life can get very busy with school, homework and other activities. Add chores at home and time with friends, and you can start to feel that 24 hours in a day isn't enough time to get everything done. One of the most important things you can learn now is how to organize your time. If you don't, you'll probably start feeling stressed.

Try to make lists of things you must do, should do, and want to do, and fit them into your week. But when you make your lists, don't try to find extra time to do things or go places by getting less slleep. Your changing body needs sleep -lots of it- and not just on weekends. Puberty takes up lots of energy - 24 hours a day. Cheating on sleep makes it harder for your body to do its job.


Food is Fuel

Getting enough sleep and organizing your time are not the only ways to help you keep your body and emotions in good health. Since a growing body needs food, you will often be hungry. That's normal. But be good to your body - eat healthy foods and be physically active every day. Eating good food and being physically active will help you grow into a healthy woman, inside and out.

Some girls worry their changing shape is not what it should be. They compare themselves to women they see in magazines, on TV and in the movies, and may feel ugly and overweight. This is a mistake. The extra weight that puberty brings to your hips and breasts is important to your health. Dieting while those changes are happening can rob your body of the extra energy and supplies it needs to help you become a healthy woman. It can also cause problems with getting pregnant, or lifelong problems such as osteoporosis (weak bones).

Some girls become so convinced that they are fat that they develop dangerous eating habits which can lead to eating disorders. Disorders such as anorexia or bulimia are a combination of physical and emotional problems, and can lead to serious illness.


Exercise for Energy

While some girls diet, others eat too much. Unhealthy eating combined with a lack of physical activity may begin a life-long habit that can make you overweight and put harmful stress on your heart. You need to combine three types of physical activity for the best results:

- Endurance activities that make you breathe deeper, make your heart beat faster, and make you feel warm.
- Flexibility activities like bending, stretching and reaching that keep your joints moving.
- Strength activities that build your muscles and bones.

Try to make physical activity and exercise part of your daily routine. Here are some ideas to get you started:

- Doing things to get you moving, not sitting. Spend less time watching TV, playing video games and surfing the internet.

- Walk more - to school, the mall, or to a friend's house.

- Take the stairs instead of the escalator or elevator.

- Walk the dog, rake the leaves or shovel snow.

- Spend time on activities you enjoy; skating, swimming, biking, running.

If you are worried about your weight or want advice on healthy living, talk to your doctor. Your doctor can suggest a healthy eating and exercise program for you to follow.


But I Still Have Lots of Questions...

This brochure has briefly explained some of the facts and feelings of puberty. But there are many other topics that are important to girls your age. That's why Shoppers Drug Mart has published another brochure, Growing Up Inside and Out Resources Guide. The guide lists good books and websites that can answer your questions about the changes and challenges of puberty. Pick one up for yourself, or give it to an adult that you trust enough to talk with about these things. While adults are not your age, they were - once. Most would be happy to listen to you, answer your questions and help you enter your teen years with confidence and in good health.


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The information in this pamphlet belongs to Shoppers Drug Mart. I do not claim to own any of this information, nor am I trying to profit from it.

[Nikolita note: In case anyone is wondering why this is being included, because it's aimed at parents, I thought users could show it to their parents if they felt it could help them understand their teens (you guys!) a bit better. 3nodding ]


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Talking With Your Teens About Growing Up Inside and Out [pamphlet]


Talking with your teens about the physical and emotional changes that puberty brings can be challenging. Many teens feel shy or embarrassed to discuss these issues, especially with their parents.

The Healthwacth for teens brochures called Growing Up Inside and Out can help teens understand some of the facts and feelings of puberty. Use these brochures to help you talk about the changes your teen can expect over the next several years.

Many teens are convinced that if they ask you about other teen health issues such as sex, birth control, sexually transmitted diseases, tobacco, alcohol or drug use, you will assume that they are asking because they are doing. But most of the time they just want more information.

To help with these conversations, Shoppers Drug Mart has also published a Growing Up Inside and Out Resource Guide. It lists books and websites that answer your teen's questions about:

- Bullying
- Seuxal Abuse
- Relationships
- Eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia)
- Birth control and teen pregnancy
- Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
- HIV/AIDS
- Violence
- Depression and suicide
- Sexuality

Pick one up for yourself, or give it to your teens. Let them know that while you are not their age, you were - once. Tell them you would be happy to listen to them without judgement, answer their questions and help them face their teen years with confidence.

If puberty was difficult for you, you might be nervous about how to relate with your own children as they grow Inside and Out. You are more prepared than you may think! Many years of parenting have prepared you for many of the challenges of your teen's puberty.

Your teen still needs the patience that as parents you had with the newborn during those midnight feedings, the protection you offered the toddler taking its first steps, the creativity you displayed in getting good food inside a fussy eater, the discipline you applied to define their limits, the enthusiasm you showerd at the first loose tooth, and the wisdom to know when to get help for problems beyond your knowledge and ability to solve. But most of all, your teen needs to feel your unconditional love.


Patience
To be patient means to have a "long fuse" - you do not explode right away when friction between you and your teen "sparks" disagreements. Be patient with teens when they worry too much about their changing shape and not enough about their grades. Be patient with them when they try to push the boundaries to see if they've moved a bit. Be patience with them when they listen to "noise" instead of the "music" you appreciate.

Adolescence is an apprenticeship. Your children are becoming adults, and are learning new life skills. They are ready for more responsibilities and freedoms, but still need the supervision of loving parents. Expect mistakes. They are experiencing a long series of "firsts" in their lives. Examples of these firsts are: the first pimple, the first bra, first kiss, first period/ejaculation, first exposure to drugs, alcohol or tobacco, and the first job. If you explode at the first sign of resistance, expect or demand perfection, criticize or mock them as they practice being adults, you may discourage them as they navigate these new challenges.


Protection
Give your teens reasonable limits and expectations so that they have both the room and the framework in which to safely explore their expanding world. As your teens begin to distance themselves from parental control, they still need your guidance, discipline and support, even if they criticize you. Making choices and experiencing their consequences will teach them lessons they will never forget. While their choice of hairstyle, wardrobe or music may not be your own, giving your teens freedom in specific areas of life may prevent a battle when you impose reasonable limits on others, such as homework or curfew.


Creativity
If you feel that your teen does not talk to you as much as before, try not to miss those moments when they do have something to share. One mother found that her teen often "opened up" in the car after hockey practice. She learned to take a longer route home, or suggest a quick stop for hot chocolate, to keep the conversation going.

Your teen might not choose a convenient time to ask questions, seek advice, or discuss the day's events. Being willing to stay up late or interrupt your own schedule to listen is one good way to show your children just how important they are to you. Trying to force a conversation when you are ready will probably fail.


Discipline
The word discipline means to teach. It does not mean to punish. Set limits when your teens push established boundaries too far. This can teach them that actions have consequences. It is an opportunity to help them to gain values and skills that can lead to success in life. When teaching is you goal, impose consequences that make sense to your teen. For example, coming home after curfew may result in limited social outings for a time. Make the link between action and consequence clear.


Enthusiasm
For your values - While pamphlets like Shoppers Drug Mart's Inside and Out series and educational programs at schools, religious or community centres can give your children information about issues facing youth today, your teen is learning much about living in the adult world by watching you. While it may not seem true right now because of peer pressure, parents' attitudes and values on learning, love, work and play are still the main influence in most teens' lives.

If you expect your teens to work hard, play fair, show respect, be kind and do their best, show them how. If you expect them to say no to drugs, tobacco and alcohol, be an example of self-control. Having expectations or setting down rules that you don't follow will not pass a teen's "fairness test."

For your teen's achievements and growth - Puberty is a time of self-doubt, learning and experimenting. Take every opportunity to show your excitement over your teen's physical, social and intellectual development. Your daughter had her first period? Your son's voice is changing? Do not teast - celebrate!

It is easy for parents to let their teens know what they do not like: messy rooms, low grades, bad posture, and late night phone calls, to name a few. Teens who feel that their parents are too critical can become resentful and unhappy. Be generous with your praise for the things you do appreciate in them, such as a great sense of humor, athletic skills, musical ability, being on time, or artistic talent.

Teens are forming opinions about world events, lifestyles and personal values. Their position may change often, but your respect and interest with give their self-confidence a real boost. Let them know that you are interested in their opinions and that they can share their feelings and points of view with you without fear of rebuke or teasing.


Wisdom
Just as childhood illnesses such as ear infections and chickenpox, or injuries such as broken bones and allergic reactions were signals to get medical help for your young child, there are some emotional symptoms that require professional help.

If you are concerned that a diet has become disordered eating, speak to your child's doctor.

While mood swings are often a part of a young teen's life, teens can become unusually sad, lose interest in favourite activities, and/or personal appearance over a period of months. These are symptoms of depression. Taking risks with drugs, alcohol or unprotected sex to escape the pain they are going through may be a call for help. Seek the advice of trained health professionals when your love and attention do not seem to effectively address the problem.


Unconditional Love
Teens want to know that they are loved for who they are, with no exceptions.

Love is an important part of the healthy development of your teen. Do not attach your expressions of love to their behaviour. They need your love to develop a positive self-image, to feel secure in trying new things, and to love others.

The challenge to parents is to love their teens in a way that is clear to them. Many teens feel unloved despite their parents' best efforts. Giving teens everything they want - "things" or "control" - are not always seen as acts of love. Perhaps your undivided attention, going to a school concert, play or sporting event, or a simple hug or tickle will prove your love. Find the ways your teens can understand the love you have for them, and use them. Often.


In Conclusion

Having good health is not just about feeling fine. It is physical, emotional and intellectual strength and growth. Helping your teens make healthy choices in all 3 areas will give them tools and skills that will last long after they leave your home. We are proud to provide health information, advice, support and good ervice as you enter this final phase of parenting. Keep up the good work.


Suggested Reading

Raising Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers: Parenting with Love, Laughter and Limits
Maurice J. Elias, Steven E. Tobias, and Brian S. Friedlander.
Harmony Books, New York, 2000.

Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager
Anthony E. Wolf
Farrar Strauss Giroux, 2002.


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This information belongs to Shoppers Drug Mart and the Canadian Pediatric Society. I do not claim to own any of this information, nor am I trying to profit from it.

Reserved.