|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 2:06 pm
Years and years of practice Never made perfect, I hold in the tears and Mold the broken fears.
Your gentle kisses frame The memories of another's touch, Yet here I sit, feeling safe, Its a first in this lifetime.
In the distance I yern For one so far, one so distant, Here you are, opening up To the girl you found in me.
You broke the chains And melted the ice So this girl in me could breath...
((just started seeing this guy, and its weird, this is the first time in a long time that I feel safe))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 3:34 pm
is this poem emotional? do i have the right to rip it to shreds in criticism so that you may improve? or do you feel if i do that your feelings for the poem will get in the way?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 11:08 pm
I like the emotion in your poem. Also, glad things are gettin better for you.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:27 pm
Thanks within love.
Just a side thought to 2pound: if you have to ask if emotion in any poem will get in the way of criticism then your words are probably gunna be hurtfull. This goes for everyone: Do Not post something if you feel or think it is going to offend someone in any way. If you feel you must, then PM the person and let them know you mean no offence. Be mature about it.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|