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I'm not so sure what's wrong with me, so I thought of making a topic here (rather than in the real Life Issues, I'm not sure why I prefered the guild..) and see what you guys think.

More info
First I'd like to note that I have visited my school councelor a few days ago, who has sent me to a school-psychologist. The reason for her sending me to him - or her, don't know if it's a he or she yet - is kinda unclear.. I get the impression she randomly sends students there, also if they're just in need of a talk.. I still need to make an appointment.

For the past few years, things have been turning out badly for me. I'm socially messed up, even though I'm not shy, I am lonely and beside of my boyfriend and one friend - nearly see him irl though, mostly over the net, that's the problem with distance - there's really nobody for me. My family, yes, but with them I could never talk about stuff you talk about with your friends.. This is a burden on me, it makes me sad and depressed. This problem can be traced back to numerous reasons, not worth mentioning now, perhaps in another post.


This is what's happening
What is troubling me, is that the past few weeks, or months, I don't even know for sure when it started, I started losing my grip on myself. I can randomly start crying without a real reason. I've lost the motivation for my school completely. Never before have I skipped school because I just didn't feel like going, but today I have. It's worth noting that my study, Journalism, is a fiasco.. I don't like the study, but I have only two years to go now so I'll have to stick by it. It is also a stressful study. I also have these moments were I start feeling very depressed and they seem to come out of the blue. It can also make me hotheaded at times, snapping for no reason at someone, because I, at those times, lose all my patience while normally, I'm a very patient person. And generally, I'm just confused about everything going on in my life, unable to think with a clear mind..

There's more, but I can't think of it right now..


I do sleep well, and eat well. I'm 19 years old and yes, I am sure that these are not the mood swings teenagers can go through. I do not cut myself (or hurt myself in any other way, for that matter) neither do I have suicidal thoughts - I've never allowed myself to have such thoughts no matter in what way.

I was hoping someone could tell me what it is.. To me, it feels like I'm breaking down, slowly, but surely..

Thanks a lot.

From a psychiatric standpoint, it's really impossible to say exactly what's going on because there are simply too many things that produce these symptoms. As you said, it's somewhat a mystery why your psychologist would refer you to a psychiatrist, as I'm pretty sure you don't have a psychiatric disorder.

Anyway, looking at what you said, the most probable cause of your symptoms is that awful six letter word: stress. It sounds almost pathetic that stress would do this to you, but believe it or not, stress plays a huge roll in how we feel and function. You said yourself that you have hard and demanding classes. Problems with feeling alone and/or not seeing boyfriend can also create stress, but more of a spiral patter (as in, you feel stressed because you're lonely, and you're lonely because stress makes you antisocial). Short-temperedness is also a common symptom of stress (we've all seen the movie "Breaking Down," haven't we). Keeping an open mind, yes, there are other things can cause your symptoms. But, following Ockam's Razor, all things considered equal, the simplest answer is most often correct.

Thank you so much for your replies.



I'm not in highschool anymore. I don't have the falling-in-the-black-hole-thing when I feel randomly depressed like that, I have experienced the feeling though, but just in different situations. I just feel depressed and don't want to do anything.

When I suddenly cry.. Well, usually, nothing happened. There's no real reason as to why I should start crying. It just happens. The only trigger I've had so far for tears was the idea, and realizing, that I'm lonely and that my life is just.. well, ********, because it's not the way I want it to be. The snapping thing occurs right after I've felt depressed, sometimes also during. Because of the depressed feelings I just have no patience with whomever.. I think..

I also am going to do martial arts, as a way to escape other than playing videogames the entire day (tales of symponia, really suited for that, that game is so long..). But there I will not meet new friends, there are only older people there. On the other martial art I'd like to do, are just japanese that barely speak a word Dutch..

I see my boyfriend almost every weekend. But as I said before (or have I? I don't even remember) - a boyfriend is different from a friend, especially the boyfriend I have. He has social problems and doing stuff is just hard. To the movies is ok, but we're not likely to meet people there. I enjoy it when he's here. He will arrive here today..

Thank you for your offer of PM'ing.. I just might, sometime.. smile




That made me feel so relieved. Really. Thanks. I know you can never be sure, but just hearing that was enough.



I haven't seen the movie, lol. You make sense, you really do. I just don't see how to get out of it.. :/ The stress will remain, I am stressed easily by all kind of stuff, and so will the loneliness. I've never had many friends in my life and I don't see how that could suddenly change or how I can make it change.. I also think that the loneliness I've been especially experiencing for the past.. three years is just making me crack. :/



Thank you. smile I listen to a lot of music, you could say I can't live a day without listening to at least 20 songs. I wish it would be that easy to find someone. If it would, I'd have done it a very long time ago.. Playing videogames is good too. Makes me forget about everything. ^_^ Even better than reading, which I do a lot, too.

It sounds to me like you have a lot on your plate. You may or may not have depression, but don't take my word for it either way -- get a diagnosis from a professional. I think the decision to send you to counseling was right on the money. You have a LOT of issues to talk about, and merely giving you some advice on an internet board, I think, would not be doing those issues justice. In your case, you need continuous and prolonged attention. Counseling should work for you. You just need to give it time, and be prepared to talk about everything that is bothering you. The only way a counselor can help you is if you let him or her.