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 Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:32 am
This site has a bunch of articles and blogs about how a mother can have an impact (whether positive or negative) on her daughter's body image, often without even realizing it. http://motherrr.com/help/topics/bodyimage
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Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:54 am
Another one I'll have to go take a look at. xd Thank you!
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Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:50 am
ughh another one i have too look at
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 2:57 pm
I always have ( and still do) think my mother is a beautifully attractive woman. Growing up my mother had self-esteem issues, she never got out of that low state of self-esteem. So when I was growing up I always heard her speaking of herself, "I'm fat", "I'm not pretty," "I need to lose weight", and when I would tell her she was pretty, she'd brush it off and say, "I don't think so, but thank you."
Growing up I was also told how much I looked like my mother... Well, I connected the two. If I look like my mother, and she doesn't think she's pretty, then I must not be pretty either. I was always a tomboy growing up, I don't ever remember my mom telling me I was cute or pretty. I never believed I was, and I hated my body too. I remember being in grade three and thinking, "My body should be slimmer, there's too much extra chub here and there." I think that's also why I was such a tomboy, I wore clothes too big for me to hide myself. I'm more feminine now, I like to wear clothes that fit me. My self-esteem is higher than what it used to be because I tried really hard to work at feeling better/more confident about myself, but I'm still self-conscious about my body.
I'm twenty years old and I still can't recall my mom ever telling me that I was/am pretty. The only compliment I can recall her giving me about my appearance was a few months ago with my hair.
A mother has an extremely large impact on their daughter's body image. Unfortunately mine had a negative one.
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 3:14 pm
My mother, from what I have been able to tell over the years, has self-esteem but never thought much of what she looked like. Gray hair, a bit of facial hair, that has never bothered my mother. She's always been "well that's that, I'm not going to do anything about it because there's no reason to." Which is sort of admirable, because she's not conforming to society's views of what beauty is, but it also means she never passed that self-awareness down to me.
I was of average body type until I hit puberty, around 12-13 and that's when I really put on weight. My parents taught my younger brother and I about nutrition and made us eat vegetables, but they also bought a lot of junk and it really affected me. My brother, the lucky b*****d, takes after my mom's side of the family and so he's skinny as a rail. Can eat whatever he wants and never put on weight. Me, I take after my dad's side and thus I theoretically should watch what I eat.
Anyways, back on point. I put on weight when I hit puberty, my skin got really bad, and I became the stereotypical chubby teenager with acne. I remember not having self-confidence and self-esteem because I hated how I looked, how much I weighed, and how I was so different from all the other girls in school who looked pretty and well-dressed. Instead of finding ways to help me lose weight, my mother's option was to hide me in baggy clothing so my weight didn't show as much. I remember one family dinner one night when my mother all but came out and said I was fat, but I can't remember if I stormed off from the table or not. I remember how sad and upset I was to hear my own parent say that.
I'm 25 now, and it hasn't been until about the past year when I stopped hating my body. I'm still overweight, but I have a supportive partner and I'm slowly losing weight via cutting down on how much I eat (worked when I was in my late teens). The biggest thing is that while I'm still not happy with my weight, it no longer really matters because I don't hate myself and my body anymore. And that's the most important thing of all.
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 3:29 pm
Nikolita I remember one family dinner one night when my mother all but came out and said I was fat, but I can't remember if I stormed off from the table or not. I remember how sad and upset I was to hear my own parent say that.
I remember one day my mother's boyfriend told me I was gaining weight and should watch it. He said this right in front of my mother... and she AGREED and added that I could not afford to eat the baked goods I had made (it was Christmas, I always do the Christmas baking). What angered me most about that moment was had her ex-husband said that to me she'd have really torn into him. But because this was her boyfriend who gets special treatment, she said nothing to him.
At that time I was beginning to like and appreciate my body. Their comments put me back into a downward spiral. Two years later and I am just slowly starting to gain my confidence back. Only thanks to my supportive boyfriend though.
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:06 pm
anime_freak_kouga Nikolita I remember one family dinner one night when my mother all but came out and said I was fat, but I can't remember if I stormed off from the table or not. I remember how sad and upset I was to hear my own parent say that.
I remember one day my mother's boyfriend told me I was gaining weight and should watch it. He said this right in front of my mother... and she AGREED and added that I could not afford to eat the baked goods I had made (it was Christmas, I always do the Christmas baking). What angered me most about that moment was had her ex-husband said that to me she'd have really torn into him. But because this was her boyfriend who gets special treatment, she said nothing to him.
At that time I was beginning to like and appreciate my body. Their comments put me back into a downward spiral. Two years later and I am just slowly starting to gain my confidence back. Only thanks to my supportive boyfriend though.And that was really shitty for your mother's boyfriend to say that. sad Your weight is not her business, at least not if she's going to talk about you like that. If she's supportive that's one thing, but she shouldn't have put you down like that. My boyfriend helps me with my weight issues too. His ex got really big, so he's got some trust issues with my size, but he's supportive of me losing weight and he doesn't put pressure on me, which has helped a lot.
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 1:13 pm
Nikolita anime_freak_kouga Nikolita I remember one family dinner one night when my mother all but came out and said I was fat, but I can't remember if I stormed off from the table or not. I remember how sad and upset I was to hear my own parent say that.
I remember one day my mother's boyfriend told me I was gaining weight and should watch it. He said this right in front of my mother... and she AGREED and added that I could not afford to eat the baked goods I had made (it was Christmas, I always do the Christmas baking). What angered me most about that moment was had her ex-husband said that to me she'd have really torn into him. But because this was her boyfriend who gets special treatment, she said nothing to him.
At that time I was beginning to like and appreciate my body. Their comments put me back into a downward spiral. Two years later and I am just slowly starting to gain my confidence bachttp://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/posting.php?mode=quote&p=328931741k. Only thanks to my supportive boyfriend though.And that was really shitty for your mother's boyfriend to say that. sad Your weight is not her business, at least not if she's going to talk about you like that. If she's supportive that's one thing, but she shouldn't have put you down like that. My boyfriend helps me with my weight issues too. His ex got really big, so he's got some trust issues with my size, but he's supportive of me losing weight and he doesn't put pressure on me, which has helped a lot.
My mother has a real issue with her own weight, which ties into mine. She currently weighs only maybe ten pounds more than me, but her pant size is smaller than mine. And as long as I am too big for her pant size, it makes her happy to be "smaller" than her daughter. Sometimes I want to tell my mother to just grow up already.
That is fantastic that your boyfriend helps you with your weight issues and doesn't put pressure on you. My boyfriend has body issues of his own, so we help each other out. When he complains that he's fat and I assure him that he is not, he tells me, "You're my girlfriend, you're supposed to say that." And I correct him, "No, I'm not supposed to. What I am supposed to do is tell you the truth, which I always do."
Together he and I both try and make each other feel better about our bodies.
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 11:10 pm
anime_freak_kouga I could understand if I had put on a lot of weight that was dangerous to my health... but at the time I had gained ten pounds. And now, when I gain even two pounds I feel as if it's a lot more than that and I need to be careful.
My mother has a real issue with her own weight, which ties into mine. She currently weighs only maybe ten pounds more than me, but her pant size is smaller than mine. And as long as I am too big for her pant size, it makes her happy to be "smaller" than her daughter. Sometimes I want to tell my mother to just grow up already.
That is fantastic that your boyfriend helps you with your weight issues and doesn't put pressure on you. My boyfriend has body issues of his own, so we help each other out. When he complains that he's fat and I assure him that he is not, he tells me, "You're my girlfriend, you're supposed to say that." And I correct him, "No, I'm not supposed to. What I am supposed to do is tell you the truth, which I always do."
Together he and I both try and make each other feel better about our bodies. That's wonderful! I'm glad you two are so supportive of each other. mrgreen heart
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