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Well here goes:
Bout a year ago i was pregna for a bit more than three months. Was hands down the lowest point in my life. Every day id wake up scared fearing what the day would bring and wondering if i should tell any one about it only to hide every thing behind a fake smilen threw out the day. every night id watch as i my stomake grew, starving myself in an atempt to hide it and cry myself tosleep, alone with no one to talk to. I was in a relationship at the time with the father, tom. Tom and i's relationship has never been that stable, though weve dated for about three and a half years its been very on and off. though hes and awesome dude hes never been that suportive of a fellow. this was probly part of my hell during this time in my life. I remember one night i was sobing on the phone with him on the other line. basicly looking for some comfort or somthing only to get silence or bitching about how im always crying (now mind you i have never cryed that much at all untill ive dated this dude, only at funerals and shitty dreams as a kid about family dieing have i cryed about till this point). i donno a simple "hey everything'll be alright, well figure somthing out" sould have done a hell of a lot of good...
well at no time during this whole ordeal had i even considered telling my parents to be a good idea. the freak out about hickys, a featus parasite thing growing from my uterus would not go over well at all. for about a month i had thoguh about many ways of aborting the thing myself or geting my a** to some where that would do it. i would never fall down some stairs cause paralisis or death really arnt that fun and i didnt have a lisence or a job so i really couldnt bring myself to an obgyn or nething to have an abortion. one retarded plan i sadly whent threw was having one of my dude friends punch me in the stomach. this one i really hate to admite to as one look at any anatomy pic would be a dead give away that it was stupid as hell....
i ended up disiding on inserting a thin kniting needle in to my cervix. i knew at the time this was a very stupid idea but i was scared and desperate....
after i did this to myself i whent to bed. i wolk up about 3 hours later un a puddle of blood. ifreaked out and changed my sheets, washed every thing and put on a pad to not ******** up my bed further. after this every thing was fine for 2 weeks. i though that was it and it was over and threw with. i have my period for the first time in three months. was a bit heavyer and lasted much longer than normal but nothing to bad. by about the second day of my period i started to feel really sick and got this fungus crap in my throat. i whent to the doctor about the sick part and the concluded that i had mono. they said to stick it out and that it might go on for a while longer. i was cool with this. got to stay home and chill. relaxation after the whole scared s**t wasnt so bad. after staying home for about a week i whent back to school cause i was feeling much better. after being in my first class for less than 10 minutes i felt like i had just pissed myself or somthing so i freaked out and whent to the bathroom. i was bleeding like hell. like shitty horour movie bleeding out like every where kinda bleeding. never seen that much blood inmy life since i was still on my period i had a coupld tampons on me so i tryed that but they wouldnt stay in from all the bleeding . i stayed in the bathroom crying to myself for awhile till i finaly got the courage to go to the nurse and call my dad and beg to be brought to the doctors office.
i didnt really tell him anything about being pregnant just said my period was being ******** up and wanted some one to check it out. when to the doctors and told them what i did and they did a pregnancy test and imidiatly sent me to the hospital. i was pale from the lose of blood when i got there and in fetal position from the cramps siting in the waiting room scared for my life...
at the hospital they did a bunch of metical stuff that i wont get in to as this is geting to be very long. they baiscly checked to make sure i wasnt bleeding internaly and sucked all the stuff out of me. oi the rest is pretty in valade
ive never really told any one person the entire story only parts. and my sister has used this whole thing as a reason to her boyfriend why she didnt wanna make out with him (hurray im the ******** up sibling....)
might put the rest later but i think im gonna go get some sleep....