Deep inside the belly of the cursed vessel, the Flying Dutchman, sounds of violent torture echoed throughout the dreaded ship. Closer inspection would reveal that the victim of this ruthless beatdown was none other than our favorite smartass of a pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow. The cause of his many new cuts, scars, and bruises, the infamous, and very squid-faced, Davy Jones, who had Sparrow tied to a chair, unarmed. He had an evil scowl on his face, and growled, "For the last time, Sparrow....what the hell is in that damned Jar of Dirt!?!?!?" Sparrow, who had somehow seemed to have given in, said, "Alright, I'll tell you!" He then held up the jar in question. "Inside this Jar of Dirt.....is....." He paused for a minute, then sang in a cheery, sing-song tone, "Another Jar of Dirt! Another Jar of Dirt! And guess what's inside it!" He then pulled the second jar out of the first, marking this statement as true. Jones, however, was only overcome with rage and roared like a mad beast. Then, suddenly, one of Jones' crew, a lobster-looking fellow with an idiotic grin on his face, walked up and yelled, "I know what's in there! A weasel!!!" Sparrow shook his head and said, "Wrong, Lenny." Lenny then pouted, then guessed, "Is it a weasel?" Jack then sighed at his stupidity and said no, AGAIN. This process then repeated for six hours, until Jones went over to Jack and whispered, "Just say yes to shut him up!" After Lenny guessed YET AGAIN, Sparrow then said, "Yes, it's a weasel!" Lenny then cheered and took the second jar from Sparrow, and yelled, "Hip, Hip, Hooray, it's Weasel Stomping Day!!!!!" He then placed the jar on the floor and crushed it with his boot, leaving a bloody mess. however, it WASN'T really a weasel. It was the heart of Davy Jones, who had now fallen face fist to the floor, dead as my brain after a two liter of Mountain Dew. Lenny then noticed the remains on his boot and yelled, "You b*****d!!! You LIED TO ME!!!! THIS AIN'T NO WEASEL!!!" He then turned to Jones' corpse and said, "Can you believe this guy!?!? Makin' me think that was a weasel! The nerve of this a*****e!!!" He then noticed that Jones wasn't responding, and asked, "Cap'n? You okay down there? Caaaaaap'n? Elloooooooooooo?" Jack then simply facepalmed and said, "Well, there goes the rest of the movie."