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 Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:07 am
"An ex-astronaut-"
"-built world's tallest and most structurally-sound castle of cards for the King and Queen of Vegas-"
"-volunteered as a firefighter, saving kittens stuck in trees, buildings, and boring relationships with female owners-"
"-and worked at our competitor, Jumbo Juice, as the Director of Semi-Maliciously Targeted Advertising."
Slim, jagged eyebrows raised over the folder she was thumbing through, thoroughly unimpressed with Quinn's feats of ingenuity and compassion.
Similarly, her eyes were as cold and black as that of a shark.
"The job opening for a male barista here at Moondollars entails only a few responsibilities, all of which you are expected to meet by the end of your first work week."
The papers rose back up as she read, mechanically.
"Are you familiar with the process of making lattes, cappuccinos, frappuccinos, and variations on simple hot and iced coffees?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:17 am
"The Titanic Thirteen, first flight to ever not be televised or told about to the public in any way--"
"--I was knighted for that one--"
"--I believe male owners are really the best way to go, when it comes to cats, especially the attractive ones--"
"--I decided to go a different direction with my career. They weren't malicious enough." He was eighty-five percent sure what that word meant. In the hotseat, he eyed her nervously as she thumbed through his papers.
"Simple? I can variate complex. I can also make coffee upside down, while dancing, with my eyes closed, and while smooth jazz is playing, even though I have the irresistable urge to cover my ears." He nodded.
"Is that all? Because I've got that covered." Smooth sailing.
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Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:22 am
She continued on after making a note next to the question with a scratch of her pen, adjusting her glasses in a business-like fashion as she droned, flipping the page.
"Are you capable of interacting with customers in a professional manner, along with developed communicative skills and efficiency in meeting a customer's needs in a timely fashion?"
Her pen was raised, tip pointed, ready to make another note.
It somehow resembled a guillotine, ready to slice his head from body.
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Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:25 am
"I'm pretty sure that meant: 'Can you be polite and not embarass us while you make coffee quickly?'. If I'm right, then sure! I'm great at being not embarassing, as long as I put my mind to it." He nodded. This was a breeze. Could a job interview go any better? No. It couldn't. He was a beast at job interviews, a charmer of bosses. Every boss wanted Quinn. This interview was a formality, he already had the job. He just had to do it so it looked realistic.
His inner pep talk was not changing her cold stare and sharp, sharp pen. Nor was it making him any less sweaty. "Erughm..." He wiped at his forehead.
"Is it hot in here? It feels really hot."
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Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:32 am
"Lastly," he snipped, primly, standing up from behind her desk and setting pen and paper down.
With a sharp movement, her tight bun was loosened to let brunette locks tumble wildly down to her shoulders, unzipping the tight black dress-suit halfway with a bedroom gaze.
She pulled a short whip out from beneath her desk, snapping it against her palm as she smiled, sensuously and dangerously, leaning against the desk.
The change from tight-lipped manager to snappy dominatrix was swift, fast, and startling.
"As a male barista, are you capable of getting down on your knees to worship the ground I walk on, coffee-slave?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:37 am
Quinn's first instinct, honestly, was to get down on his knees and worship the ground she walked on, coffee slave style.
Thankfully, he fought the instinct, and instead kicked over his chair as he scrambled to get out of it. He grabbed at the door, but it was locked.
"Gack!" He yelled in surprise, and dodged around her advances to grab the bundle of keys off her desk. He ran around to the door, as she advanced slowly and said her words of seduction. First key didn't work.
Second key didn't work.
Third key didn't-- finally!
He burst out the door and slammed it behind him, running out of the office and onto the street, where he fell onto his knees on the ground. He hoped she wouldn't burst out behind him while he was regaining his composure.
What was wrong with this city?
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