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Satrevi

PostPosted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 4:56 am


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Very loving and protective, in whichever way suits the moment best. Caring and does not like seeing good people get hurt. Very loyal and trusting/trustworthy. See "other notes" for more information.

A very strategic and manipulative person in her own way. She is more calculating than she would like to appear. She is also prone to thinking within her head at any given time. Very loving, strong and prideful. Her vengeance and temper are not to be trifled with. She can and will become very cold in this state of mind.

She can be very stubborn when she wants something done, or to do something. As well as become completely lazy when she doesn't want to do something. She is also very opportunistic and would rather allow something fall into her lap than her chase it. This makes her work ethic look bad if she isn't doing work she enjoys. Her artistic side shows this with her tendency to focus on what she likes.

She has a good heart and is a bit self centered without realizing it sometimes. She is very loyal to her friends and has a strong sentiment to those she truly cares about. If she doesn't like someone she will tolerate them. If she hates someone they will usually end up getting a cold reception. When she is given good reason to hate someone. She truly hates them and it is hard to sway her away from that.

She is very cautious when it comes to sexual interests. Due to her tendency of constant arousal she usually thinks about sex with a friend she's met, at least once or twice during the course of their relation. This can lead to awkward flings she wants to get out of. But she feels extremely uncomfortable breaking them off due to her strong sense of loyalty. She doesn't hesitate to help her friends, family or loved ones more often than not. She can become very jealous and possessive of her partner(s) and is comfortable in many varied styles of relationships if she feels comfortable enough in them.

Her strong emotions make her worried about how other people see her friendship. Sometimes causing her to worry too much, or become slightly paranoid. She combats this by venting constantly and trying to break the ice if she cares to get to know someone. Alternatively she also hides her feelings on someone to get a look at them before opening up. When she becomes like this sometimes she won't say much at all. This closed off reaction often puts people off or confuses them. Sometimes she uses this to her advantage and lets people come to their own conclusions about her. Only to prove them wrong later.

Her face holds a very natural expressiveness to it. Her neck has a certain grace as well. Her shoulders are strong but femininely rounded.

Her height holds a certain grace combined with her body shape. The upper part of her torso has very perfect, full breasts that are an ample C cup. Her waist thins inward slightly below her breasts emphasizing her breasts to a degree.

However, her hips are nicely toned and pear shaped with a nice apple shaped behind. Her legs are very toned and naturally muscular. Her legs are slightly longer than her upper torso.

-If the leader is competent and she respects them. She will follow them. She tries to avoid leading people she doesn't want to deal with.

-Craves feedback and attention, sometimes a little needy.

-Will do things without offering an explanation sometimes exhibiting an unexpected change in behavior.

-Loves to flaunt herself while other times she wants very little attention at all.

-Can be commanding and domineering. Unless she sees someone as more experienced than her. Then she learns what she can from them to add to her own knowledge.

-Sometimes she wants certain people to have power over her. Very much loving the idea of being taken care of, or offering herself to someone.

-Can and will find ways to bend the rules to suit her own needs.

-Very supportive of others if she feels they should be supported. She hates drama and violence towards others.

-Instinctively manipulative and scheming at times.

-Sometimes has a tendency to over complicate things.

-Does what she wants sometimes at cost to herself.

-Sometimes has a truly hard time understanding another point of view.

-Sometimes slightly or over dramatic since she wishes to express how strongly she feels. She tries to avoid this by not talking about something until she has the proper wording figured out in her mind.

-Sometimes ignores the obvious to or past a point of mere inconvenience.

Rapists, bullies, thieves if she doesn't approve of their actions at the time. Those who would attack others with excessive violence. Abusive people.

These are the people she doesn't mind becoming violent or fighting with.





So......... Thoughts and basic opinion on what people see?
PostPosted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 6:39 pm


This is not a bump. This is me wanting feedback.

Satrevi


annador

PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 7:23 am


xD Your signature lured me here, so I'd feel bad if I didn't post now.
I, honestly, suck at feedback when it comes to stories and such. I love reading about them, I just can't explain what I think. Is there a certain question about her you would like answered? [/doesn't do well with broad questions.]
If you're not sure that she's a believable character, you could try this test.

Oh, and does she have a name, or did I simply miss it?
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 10:14 am


annador
xD Your signature lured me here, so I'd feel bad if I didn't post now.
I, honestly, suck at feedback when it comes to stories and such. I love reading about them, I just can't explain what I think. Is there a certain question about her you would like answered? [/doesn't do well with broad questions.]
If you're not sure that she's a believable character, you could try this test.

Oh, and does she have a name, or did I simply miss it?
I'll take the test xD

Satrevi


moe majesty

Dangerous Explorer

8,750 Points
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 6:11 pm


x x x

A good character! You've clearly outlined her flaws, which keeps her from stepping into Mary Sue territory. She seems like a person I'd like to know... as long as I'm on my guard.

A couple things. If this is for a roleplay, you might want to spruce it up a bit - add headers to create clear sections.

There are a few grammatical errors and unnecessary sentence fragments, but if this is for your own reference, not a roleplay or other public viewing, then they don't really matter.

Lastly. "Her legs are slightly longer than her upper torso." This would mean she has extremely short legs. The legs, proportionally, are 4+ heads to the torso's 3. When you mention her height at the beginning of the physical description, you say it has a "certain grace"; I immediately interpreted this as meaning she's tall and carries herself well. You might want to add in some clarification on her actual height.


x x x
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 12:55 pm


Small notes first:
-Hah, the fourth paragraph sounds like me.

-The section where you describe her bottom and legs seem to have the word "toned" a lot. Synonyms please?

---

All in all, this was a good, lengthy description. However, you may want to use more flowing vocabulary so you can bolster up your paragraphs. (You countered this with short, categorized paragraphs. It isn't bad or good. Just interesting.) The personality was strong and built. It almost sounds like me, but with a few twists in it. What you may want to work on is when you describe physical attributes (use metaphors and such?) and vocabulary.

Valentorv

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- The Arts -

 
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