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 Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:05 am
Taken from: http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/love-sex-relationships/rogers-article.aspx?cp-documentid=24668109
When you think about it, casual sex is really anything but. Beyond the obvious safety and sexual health considerations, there are plenty of very un-casual things about “casual” sex. Here’s a nine-point break down of the impending complications and the best ways to handle them.
#1 Get over your inner good girl
Sex doesn’t have to be precious. Sure, there is no denying that having sex with someone immediately takes things up a notch, but it can also be a fun and explorative with no strings attached.
#2 Get your glow on, without getting naked
If you’re someone who’s more interested in the chase than the score, the best approach to casual sex may be to avoid the “sex” and simply put yourself out there to test your allure. These encounters don’t necessarily have to culminate in sex, just enjoy the undeniable possibility of it.
#3 Maintain a casual friendship
If it’s actually sex more than a quick ego boost you’re after, casual sex with friends can sometimes work. Being “friends with benefits” can be a convenient way to get some without having to deal with the risk of getting hurt. Just remember that this arrangement tends to have a short shelf life, since typically one of you meets someone else or wants to expand on the term friendly.
#4 Consider more than casual
Not all casual sex is simply about satisfying physical needs or boosting egos—some one-night stands can progress into relationships. Some even argue that no one really wants casual sex, that it’s merely a convenient term to describe that awkward and indefinable period before either party feels secure enough to call it a relationship.
#5 Turn casual into something more
If you’ve decided that your fling has relationship potential, just know that you could get burned. Since you’ve been upfront about your intentions, it’s tough to go back and change the game.
If the shoe is on the other foot and he wants more but you don’t, remember to be kind: “I really had a great time, and you’re a great person, but it’s just not there for me in the same way.” We’re all grown-ups. We can handle it. And it’s better than stringing him along because you’re too cowardly to be honest.
#6 Play by the rules and no one gets hurt
It’s important to honour a few guidelines in an effort to avoid any confusion:
– Both parties must lay their cards on the table up front allowing either party to opt-out if they want something more.
–“No strings attached” doesn’t mean “no strings attached, until I decide I really like you and want to see you again.”
–“Casual” does not mean cruel. You can be direct and honest about not wanting to see the person again, but don’t negate what went on between you.
#7 Make the most of the morning after
What is the protocol for the morning after a one-night stand? Do you share your toothbrush? Exchange phone numbers when, let’s face it, no one’s going to be calling anyone. Modern gals lose the pretense: a simple, “Thanks, that was fun, take care,” will suffice.
If you don’t want him there in the morning, than be up front, that’s why it’s so important to lay out the rules beforehand. It’s much more polite and he or she will appreciate your honesty.
#8 Go for the great escape
While there’s no need to discuss your lack of future over a latté, keep in mind that casual sex doesn’t need to be uncivilized; feel free to dash if he or she is still asleep next to you – just be sure to leave a note.
#9 Deal with 'Don't I know you from somewhere?'
It’s all fun and games until you run into your one-night stand on the street, but be prepared as it may, and likely will, happen. While you will have the most tremendous urge to duck and avoid the awkward casual sex follow up, it’s much more polite and mature to take the awkwardness by the horns and neutralize the situation with a simple hello…then keep on walking.
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:01 am
when you say that there are "un-casual" things about casual sex what do you mean. Could you elaborate somewhat?
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Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 5:03 pm
zach300 when you say that there are "un-casual" things about casual sex what do you mean. Could you elaborate somewhat? I think the article is referring to "un-casual" things like the complications listed - casual sex isn't always just casual sex for everyone. One of the two people might develop feelings for the other, and then there could be attachment issues. Casual sex can lead to one person not playing by the rules (see #6), etc.
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:35 pm
I really don't understand this who point of casual sex, because when I think of that I think:
"Casual Relationship".
I mean, doesn't it usually relationships start like this (unless the people are upfront of what they want) most people would find physical attraction.
like "Hey, he's cute. I'ma talk to him"
then once getting to know them more, it's constant dates, dates, and more dates.
I'm sure physical attachment is just as important as emotional attachment. I mean, people make out, possibility of sex or oral, then "hey, I might be on to somethingg with this guy/girl".
Does anyone understand what I'm saying here? xD
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 10:56 am
StreetchIck123 I really don't understand this who point of casual sex, because when I think of that I think: "Casual Relationship". I mean, doesn't it usually relationships start like this (unless the people are upfront of what they want) most people would find physical attraction. like "Hey, he's cute. I'ma talk to him" then once getting to know them more, it's constant dates, dates, and more dates. I'm sure physical attachment is just as important as emotional attachment. I mean, people make out, possibility of sex or oral, then "hey, I might be on to somethingg with this guy/girl". Does anyone understand what I'm saying here? xD Kind of.... I do think that articles like the one here are incredibly destructive though. So I guess I agree with you?
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