|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:03 am
I've been with my girlfriend for three years. I've met all of her family and she's yet to meet anyone in mine. Her family is great.
Mine are all out of state which does make it harder. I've made the trips alone. Only twice out all this time but still...
My uncle is having a wedding. I decided that wouldn't be appropriate. That's his function and wouldn't be right. Specially since he's not accepting. Like the majority of my family.
I have no shame for us. But when is it appropriate to bring her into meet this kind of family? Holidays are a huge thing, very religious events, very "family" orientated events.
She is, however, my family/my life. I want them to see and know that.
Do I just bring her to the next holiday that I want to be down there for?
I just don't want anyone getting hurt. That's my fear.
I have caused a ton...of hurt in my life as is.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:22 am
It would depend on what level of unacceptingness they are. Are you out to your family? One possible option that a lot of close conservative religious families have is to just not talk about it. My sister is gay and she isn't out to my father. She visited a few times with her long term girlfriends without a problem. She never introduced them as "my girlfriend, insert name" or anything. That might work if people tend to be hush hush about that sort of thing.
I guess a major holiday or just taking some time to "go back home" would be a good idea.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:37 pm
I am out to them and have been for several years. And they know who she is.
I've never brought anyone home. I knew back then that it would have devistating affects.
Now...
I have to. I have the sort of family that keeps things hush hush but it tears the family apart more-so then keeps it together so I try to break that silence. Not that I like drama..no way. But if something is wrong-its wrong. And if something needs to be known-it needs to be known. Like who I plan to spend the rest of my life with.
Its just finding the right setting. It just feels so lame that it has to be that way.
I guess yeah, a major holiday or if I can take the time to just visit would be best.
Is it forceful..though... to bring this on them?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:09 pm
It's not forceful at all. I mean if she is the one you want to be with, then they should respect you enough to honor that. It's your choice to bring someone home or not, eventually it won't bother them(if it ever does). I think you should warn them though before you bring home the girlfriend. It might give them a little time to prepare, it also might help them realize that things change.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 3:25 pm
Hm, respect yeah that's pretty much all I'm asking for.
I've given them three years to prepare...
Course, I who's to say it won't take 4 or 5.
Non the less. I was reminded by her the other day when we talking about camping that she can't leave the state for another year I think until she gets off probation.
So...I suppose that gives them more time to prepare ><
I am a patient person...it does just wear on me at times.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 11:11 pm
The more time the better. I've known families to accept but when the daughter/son brings home a girlfriend/boyfriend they take back what they said. Some people are just to closed minded to look at the real love that some hold in a same sex relationship.
Mny people's patience wears so don't think your the only one. Though in your situation, patience minght become your best friend. Only time will tell though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
