Deadly Mindset Poem | Page 1 | Poems | Guild Forums

XxX_-Shyy-_XxX
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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 9:36 am

Ok, so I'm writing a novel about a woman serial killer. This is a little poem kinda relating to her story.

Stilehttoes clicking against the ground,
No one is awake there is no other sound,
Knife gripped tight as I approach your door,
You have no clue for what you have instore.

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:23 pm

It's pretty good, I like it! =D

IrksomeCat
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XxX_-Shyy-_XxX
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Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 3:05 pm

Thanks you Cat XD

Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:24 pm

i like it. good poem.

marieaskelinton

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-Lil_Monst3r-

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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 1:30 pm

It's good. Nice job!

Posted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 2:34 pm

XxX_-Shyy-_XxX

Ok, so I'm writing a novel about a woman serial killer. This is a little poem kinda relating to her story.

Stilehttoes clicking against the ground,
No one is awake there is no other sound,
Knife gripped tight as I approach your door,
You have no clue for what you have instore.

I think you should add senses and colorful words. Really create a mood. Right now you have a scene. To make it better you have to grip your readers with something unique. XD But I like it. Its a good start!

Yasuryuu101

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XxX_-Shyy-_XxX
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Posted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 4:28 pm

Yasuryuu101

XxX_-Shyy-_XxX

Ok, so I'm writing a novel about a woman serial killer. This is a little poem kinda relating to her story.

Stilehttoes clicking against the ground,
No one is awake there is no other sound,
Knife gripped tight as I approach your door,
You have no clue for what you have instore.

I think you should add senses and colorful words. Really create a mood. Right now you have a scene. To make it better you have to grip your readers with something unique. XD But I like it. Its a good start!

Hah . Thanks. And i was planning on Writing more sometime soon. Just havent gotten to it. Ill keep your suggestions in mind

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