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 Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 9:14 pm
It's too long. I have to edit it. Am posting it here for ... help editing, ideally -_-; *goes off to wrangle up some help* Also, here is the prompt itself, entry in next post: Quote: (As eevee; for the purposes of this response the following evolutionary stones can be used instead of unique circumstances Dusk Stone>Umbreon, Dawn Stone>Espeon, Leaf Stone>Leafeon, Shiny Stone>Glaceon) Lately you've been peer-pressured by your friends and family, asking which evolutionary path you're going to take. You'd been avoiding the subject up until now, but just yesterday your trainer left you 7 evolutionary stones to choose from while s/he's away for the weekend. Given such a short time to decide, what do you do? Which road will you take? Where does your future lie?
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 9:16 pm
Last night, my trainer Raziel left me here with this bag of evolutionary stones. He laughed when he was leaving, as though it was funny; I don’t find it very funny, the similarity to my namesake. My name, Rune, was gifted to me from an incident when I was a young child, or so Raziel has told me. He left me alone in his room for an hour when I was quite young, and I managed to dig out his bag of runes and spill them all on the floor. When he returned, I told him, “You will have a fortunate future!” Apparently, even back then, I sounded a little too old for my typical age group. That same rune bag is with me now, only filled with evolutionary stones. I have to pick one before he comes home.
In the past few weeks, the pressure to choose an evolutionary path has been immense. Do I want to evolve? Well, of course I do. I don’t want to be stuck in this adorable, fluffy body forever, although I suppose that would throw them for a loop. Raziel has been hinting at this decision, but I didn’t know he would make me choose so abruptly. He dropped the bag in my lap while I was meditating and told me that I had the weekend to choose. It’s not really that he wants me to make a decision, they all just want to know what my decision is. A sadistic kind of curiosity, in my opinion.
Of course I know what I will be, when I evolve. I know which stone I will pick, and it is the same stone I have always wanted. I’m not afraid of being wrong, because the answer is a part of me. Sitting alone in Raziel’s room, I shuffle my hand through the bag, feeling each stone. I know the one I want. I can feel it, my fingers tingle when I close my hand around it. Such a simple decision, if you know what the outcome will be. And yet... Maybe I’ve started to doubt myself. I was always so sure. But I’ve pulled out two different stones today, on my last day to choose. I thought that both of them were the right one. My friends offered to help, or rather, they all offered their opinions. One said, Be fast, quick, hot like a Flareon. The twins down the lane said, Grow tall, make our air clean, be a Leafeon. I think that my favourite, however, was my best friend; an Arcanine named Atsushi. He said, “You know, you should just be an Umbreon. You’re always in the dark anyway. Hermit,” and then he punched me in the arm. I couldn’t help but laugh. No, none of those answers were right, but at least his made me smile. He knew that it was my decision, ultimately. I think he was the only one who supported me regardless. Probably because Atsushi mourned his evolution a little; his trainer pushed him to be better, faster, stronger. His trainer pushed him that final step, and told him to never look back.
So instead, Atsushi likes to tell me, “Look back all you want, Rune, so long as you start looking forward again when you’re done.” Raziel doesn’t like that saying. He thinks it’s ridiculous. Raziel and my best friend’s trainer must have had a talk, and at some point, they saw eye to eye. Needless to say, I side more with my best friend than Raziel in this matter, perhaps because I resent him a little for forcing me to choose an evolutionary path so abruptly. I am frustrated at having to make a formal choice, and I did sulk most of last night, until I fell asleep... but in the end, I don’t want to disappoint anyone. If it wasn’t for the fact I have grabbed two different stones from the bag today, I would already have an answer for them all. I didn't think there was any other outcome possible for me, other than a dawn stone... but I also pulled out a shiny stone. Could I be a Glaceon? I thought I wanted to be an Espeon, all this time.
I know why I am confused. There are two parts of me, and I don’t know which is the most important part, which is the one I should stick with above all. Which is the part I should keep. Ever since I was little, I have had this sense of knowing things. It’s not that I see pictures of the future, or look into a crystal ball, or snort tea-leaves. I just know what will happen, and I watch it unfold. Seeing the future unfold can be beautiful, even in its darkest moments. The easiest part about knowing is remaining silent.
Apart from that, there is the part of me that watches everything. Observes, as if behind a mirror, a window, a sheet of ice... Just watching in silence all the while. It feels good, if stark pain was the same as goodness. I feel cold, sometimes, as if I am standing on the top of a mountain, looking down on everything around me. Not in a haughty way... it just feels so far from me. Sometimes I can’t really hear Raziel speak. His lips move, but nothing seems to come out. It doesn’t always seem very different from my other part, the part that knows things and remains silent. Maybe I think too much. Smiles surprise me; when someone makes me laugh, it’s slow to start and then cascades out. Raziel told me it’s as if I’m not really in the room, and not really in my own body all the time.
Instead of choosing a stone, or even trying to, I’m curled up on the carpet in my boxers, tracing constellations on my stomach in the sun pouring through the window. Late noon is fading fast, and I know that in a few hours, the light will begin to fade. It’s a nice day. I feel the need to warm myself up from the outside in.
“Get stuck in your own thoughts again?” Someone's voice sneaks in through my window. I jab my own hip in surprise and then narrow my eyes, tilting my head backwards to look upside down at the origin of the voice, even though I already recognize it. There’s Atsushi with his wild blonde hair, pulling himself through my open window. How he gets up to the second floor, I will never know.
“I thought I told you I needed to be alone today?...” I trail off, watching his shirt tear on the window latch. He pulls it off, like it’s no big deal, and drops it on the bed, curling up on the floor with me.
“No, I don’t think so. I think you said, ‘Hey, make sure you come by on Saturday afternoon so that I can make sweet—’” I roll over on top of him and glare, my lips pressed together tightly, hand clasped over his mouth to cut him off. I remove it once I’m sure he’s done, and he has the stupidest grin pressed to his face.
“I’m pretty sure I told you to get lost! For at least a week. You wear me out.” He always teases me, and I can never tell if he’s serious. I assume he isn’t, and that’s usually the safe bet. He’s not budging. “If you have to bother me, fine. Let’s go make lemonade. I’ll take a break from my future.”
“That’s my eevee,” he says, kisses my cheek and gets to his feet in a flash, throwing me off him. I guess I didn’t really have him pinned, after all. How would an eevee pin an arcanine, anyway? After nursing my head where it hit the side of my mattress in his flight, I walk downstairs. Nothing really significant happens, except... I can’t stop thinking about how I wish simple days like this would last forever. I wish I didn’t have to choose, or be an adult, or lose a friend like this. It seems like no matter what you do, the things you love most have to change. I guess it comes down to choosing the path where what you love turns into something you will love more. Even if you don’t understand at the time.
I don’t understand. Knowing is never the same as understanding. Just going through the motions of preparing the lemonade, sweetening it, chilling it, drinking it... hours may have passed, must have passed. I didn't realize how fast time was going, but the sun is setting now. Atsushi and I have taken all this time to make lemonade. I guess I didn't notice because I was caught up with thinking, Raziel’s bag of evolutionary stones strapped against my hip, the cord looped around my belt. I take a deep breath. The sun has set, and there are lemon rinds piled up around the sink. I open my mouth to tell him to leave, and he just shakes his head, smiles, and ruffles my hair. He knows I have to choose, but Raziel won't be home for another day. I close my mouth, open it again, to ask him to stay for the night. Just one night can't hurt... I can decide what path to take tomorrow. Maybe it will be easier tomorrow.
Atsushi grins at me and cleans the rinds off the counter. "I left my shirt upstairs," he says, suddenly, as if only now realizing he has been topless this whole time. He turns on his heel and walks back to my room, taking the stairs two at a time. I clean the pitcher that we used, first, and our glasses as well. I dry them, slowly, the stones in their bag clacking against one another every time I lean closer to the counter. Eventually, when everything is clean, I follow him back upstairs to my room. The moon has replaced the sun, and a pale, smooth light paints my floor. I only have one day left to choose, not even; when Raziel returns tomorrow, I owe him an answer. Atsushi is already curled up sideways on my bed, in his jeans. He hasn't put his top back on. It's still on the bed where he left it, on my side. I sit down roughly on the bed and wrinkle my nose, shoving his arm gently.
"You left your disgusting, sweaty, ratty t-shirt on my side." I pull my best friend’s shirt into my lap and play with the tear, idly. I really can’t postpone my choice for much longer. Will Atsushi still like spending time with me, when I am different? Will it matter, will it change me, or am I the change itself? Since I never put on normal clothing, I'm still in my boxers. I curl up on my side, next to my best friend, and he puts his arm around me, even though he was pretending to be asleep. The night is good; sweet, fragrant air blows through the window, which he left open earlier.
When Raziel comes home, I will have an answer for him, no matter how little he deserves one. Without hesitation... I have to try this without hesitation, or I’ll lose this sudden swell of decisiveness. The stones are being squashed underneath me, since I didn't remove the bag. I reach under and pull the bag up, untying it from my waist. Just as if I was going to pluck a tarot card out to read, I reach into the bag and pull a stone out, cradled in my palm, my fingers tight around it as they can go. The effort is draining the blood from my knuckles. When I unfurl my fingers, there it is. My future, a dawn stone...I can’t help but smile at its soft glow. Perhaps I don’t have to leave part of myself behind, and then, holding this stone, I realize. No, I know. I know that I really have understood all along, and I know how my future will unfold: A fortunate future, filled with no regrets.
I squeeze the stone in my hand, knowing and maybe even understanding what lies in store. I find the stone that I chose comforting, somehow. Sleep will be easy tonight, even if my best friend snores like an Exploud.
No regrets.
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