Welcome to Gaia! ::

Rising Stars Writing Guild

Back to Guilds

A guild built for writers of all skill levels to learn to become better writers. 

Tags: Aspiring writers, Fun writing games, Creative writing classes, writing feedback, Good literary works 

Reply Original Poetry
"Four Times"

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

DeleteThis191919

6,350 Points
  • Mark Twain 100
  • Invisibility 100
  • Megathread 100
PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:37 am


I wrote this for my girlfriend- we've been dating for over three years, and she is an aspiring artist, but she's been under-confident about her art lately.


How hath ye the strength so that such stellar
Wonders would jewel upon thou, unhidden
In your eyes. The heart of an artist and
The soul that gives are yours, the things that
Others search silently holding contempt
In their jealousy of thy nature, but the
Things you have earned hath granted thy fully
What god hath gave to Michelangelo,
He gave four times
To you.

It is meant to be read as if a paragraph, not pausing in between lines.
If anyone wants a bit of an analysis of this, I'll be glad to add it.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:03 pm


Bump crying

DeleteThis191919

6,350 Points
  • Mark Twain 100
  • Invisibility 100
  • Megathread 100

Aloysia Bloodfur

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:05 pm


I think your girlfriend will love this, but it needs editing. It doesn't read smoothly. Maybe if I heard it being read out loud it would go smoother, but reading it it seems chopped up haphazardly. Good message, though. It should cheer her up.
Reply
Original Poetry

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum