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When is a relationship considered a "rebound"?

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Should I start considering my friend?
  No!
  Yes! In a couple months everything'll be fine!
  Give it at least 5 months before you do anything.
  Wait half the time you dated your ex to get involved with anyone else.
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Kattie-Brie

PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 7:29 am


I just recently ended my relationship with my boyfriend of over two years. I'm not really looking to start dating just yet but I was curious... I know it differs for everyone, but how long should one typically wait to date again? And how long is long enough to wait for it to not be a rebound or have the effects that rebounds tend to have?

The reason I ask is that I'm starting to develop feelings for a good friend of mine and I know he returns them. I do know that it's far to soon to get into anything but here these feelings are! Also, my liking him is REALLY helping me to get over my ex... Are those symptoms of a rebound? Any advice/past experiences you have had and wouldn't mind sharing are appreciated!
PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 12:39 pm


I would say that those are symptoms of a "rebound complex" or however you would like to coin the term. As far as how long you should wait before dating is really up to you! If you're relationship ended in such a way that you are very hurt I would give it a good 3 months at least; just to really see how you're feeling. When I broke up with my b/f of 2yrs it took me a full 2yrs to get over it; but our relationship ended in a rather violent manor so really, like I said, it depends on the person and the circumstances. I would say that it's fine to date your friend! Safe, reliable, and fun. Nothing wrong with that smile

WiseWitch1313


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PostPosted: Tue May 25, 2010 4:40 pm


well it depends.... was your boyfriend the kind of guy who lost of girls were crushing on while you were dating?
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 9:36 pm


My boyfriend wasn't really highly sought after, at least that's how I understand it. We ended on relatively good terms and as far as I know there's little, if any, anger or resentment. I'm not even completely certain I was ever strongly in love with him either which might be why I'm not taking it too hard.

Also, more insight to the whole ordeal: A few weeks ago I broke up with him and then around the time I was trying to sleep I freaked out, couldn't sleep, and ended up wasting half a tank of gas driving randomly on the highway. When I eventually wandered back home I texted him that I was sorry for putting him through this and he called me. He came over and we drove around and talked and he handed me a letter. It pretty much contained all of his heart felt feelings and after reading it I felt weird. Not like, "Oh my God I truly love you!", but more of, "Huh." We agreed to try it again and make some changes. But after I got home again I started to immediately regret my decision to retry it. The letter just didn't have a real effect on me.

So a few weeks later I broke up with him again. My main reason being that I love him the way I love all of my other friends. There's nothing that sets him apart or makes him truly special in my eyes. So instead of leading him on, I ended it. About a weekish later, here I am now asking for advice!

I'm certain that I will not be getting back together with him so that's not really an issue. My issue is my other friend who I'm REALLY starting to like a lot. I feel like I'd jeopardize the whole thing if I jumped over. He's already blatantly told me that he likes me and everyday we talk and text and he says the most amazing things that make me smile and brighten my day. I would really like to try this and make it work but I'm not sure what to do or when. He's aware of my situation and said he will wait until I'm 110% ready. I'm going to give it at least the summer to try and sort things out in my head and probably a little bit into the beginning of the semester to make sure that after not seeing him for a summer it won't be weird hanging out a lot again (we live in separate cities).

I mainly don't want this to be just another rebound relationship to have fun and distract my mind. I would love for this to work in the long run and possibly a life time if that's how things happen. So any advice would be appreciated!

By the way, sorry about the length. x_x

Kattie-Brie


WiseWitch1313

PostPosted: Mon May 31, 2010 1:28 pm


Kattie-Brie
My boyfriend wasn't really highly sought after, at least that's how I understand it. We ended on relatively good terms and as far as I know there's little, if any, anger or resentment. I'm not even completely certain I was ever strongly in love with him either which might be why I'm not taking it too hard.

Also, more insight to the whole ordeal: A few weeks ago I broke up with him and then around the time I was trying to sleep I freaked out, couldn't sleep, and ended up wasting half a tank of gas driving randomly on the highway. When I eventually wandered back home I texted him that I was sorry for putting him through this and he called me. He came over and we drove around and talked and he handed me a letter. It pretty much contained all of his heart felt feelings and after reading it I felt weird. Not like, "Oh my God I truly love you!", but more of, "Huh." We agreed to try it again and make some changes. But after I got home again I started to immediately regret my decision to retry it. The letter just didn't have a real effect on me.

So a few weeks later I broke up with him again. My main reason being that I love him the way I love all of my other friends. There's nothing that sets him apart or makes him truly special in my eyes. So instead of leading him on, I ended it. About a weekish later, here I am now asking for advice!

I'm certain that I will not be getting back together with him so that's not really an issue. My issue is my other friend who I'm REALLY starting to like a lot. I feel like I'd jeopardize the whole thing if I jumped over. He's already blatantly told me that he likes me and everyday we talk and text and he says the most amazing things that make me smile and brighten my day. I would really like to try this and make it work but I'm not sure what to do or when. He's aware of my situation and said he will wait until I'm 110% ready. I'm going to give it at least the summer to try and sort things out in my head and probably a little bit into the beginning of the semester to make sure that after not seeing him for a summer it won't be weird hanging out a lot again (we live in separate cities).

I mainly don't want this to be just another rebound relationship to have fun and distract my mind. I would love for this to work in the long run and possibly a life time if that's how things happen. So any advice would be appreciated!

By the way, sorry about the length. x_x

it sounds like to me that you have a pretty good grasp on the situation! I would follow through with your plan on waiting it out through the summer and then seeing how things are after that. You might want to hang out with your friend that you're developing feelings for just to keep the energy up, ya know? otherwise, if I were you I'd give myself a lot more credit than you are! I think you've got it under control
PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 1:18 pm


Thanks. ^^ Though a question to anyone on here, what's the typical length for your personal rebounds if you happened to go through with them? My thought is that if I still like my friend past the length of a typical rebound then I might have a shot at successfully dating him because I won't be drawn to him for the typical rebound reasons.

Kattie-Brie


inu_fan77777

PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:17 pm


depending how much you liked the person differs
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