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 Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 3:06 pm
Sorry if this is choppy my creativity comes and goes. Reason for LoveYou smile as the clouds go sailing by. You laugh when I fall but not when I cry. You are my watchful soldier, my guardian knight. When I am wrong you let me think I am right. I feel so special when I am with you. My reasons for loving you will never be few.
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 3:18 pm
Here is one for the other side of love.
Outside you door
Your pretty little mouth must have lied
Because you said you would always have a place for me
inside your heart.
I relize now that your heart is black
and that I will never get mine back.
I relize this now as I stare at your door
Wishing I could do so much more.
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 5:12 am
(If the contest is still open, here is my submission. >3< Its not very good but here it is.)
Cruel Fate -
Malevolent moon I seek you rays,
for I have seen far too much today.
My sparkling love so full and true
and yet I find my soul mate
in love with you.
I walked a block to see her from a view,
and yet I find my best friend kissing my boo.
This is but a cruel twist of fate,
But my love for you is a mandate.
I’m not so happy at the deceit as
Our relationship has been so sweet.
My undying love for you is pure but
Now I cannot see you anymore.
Tis too much pain for me as I’m forlorn.
You’ll never see me again and that’s for sure,
but know this gift I give to you my love
for you is faithfully true.
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:42 pm
Uhh, wow, I didn't even know people were suddenly posting XD So sorry for my late replies!
I should probably get back to my active(Gaian) lifestyle... of course, 3 weeks before school starts. Now I'm rambling when poets just want some feedback...OKAY. Back to business.
Meina Reine: I like the poem, but I never watched the PotO, so I'm not sure what some of the connotations are. . . sweatdrop Anyhey, I like it, but perhaps try writing a poem inspired by something else?
live_love_laugh_alot: The poems are a little choppy, but I'm sure that could be fixed. Reason for Love has a good theme, but again, it's choppy, maybe b/c of the sentence per line format? Outside Your Door doesn't seem to fit together :/ You seem to have a grasp on poetry though :]
Sakura_Moonlight2421: Uhm, I'm not really catching on the idea. I find it a bit confusing, Is your soul mate in love with your best friend, or the moon who also is your best friend? Is the mandated love for your soul mate or the moon? I might suggest trying a different approach to this idea...
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Posted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:26 am
I just joined this guild because I started a new account since my old account sucked, so this is a very late post emotion_facepalm Here goes my poem.
Darkness:
The waking of the shadows
beckons your name.
Nobody ever hears them
except you who gets the fame.
The fear rises in you,
but they don't mean you any harm.
All they want is a little of your charm.
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Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:58 am
Hm... I know it's been like 2 years. But is this still going on?
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Posted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 11:45 pm
Whoaa, haven't been on in awhile...
I guess it could still go on. My poetic skills have actually grown a bit, so I've gotten more picky XD
But I have an open mind. It just depends on how many submissions get put in. It's not much of a good contest right now it seems....
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Posted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 9:07 am
I wanna try for fun but be warned my English sucks ~
Old dogs can't learn new tricks
You are my conviction
Your smile that twisted my heart
Who gave me a false start
Like acid flowing through my brain
How good it feels to loath myself and weep
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Profitable Conversationalist
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Posted: Thu May 02, 2013 12:54 pm
gaia_diamond That Which You've Done
After you hurt me, I tried to be strong
But all I was to you was sweet.
And all you were to me was wrong
I remember how we watched the sunset for long
And how I told you what I found neat
And when you crushed me I tried to be strong
You told me that you and I just don’t belong
And you left me broken on the street
Sure I would disappear, you couldn’t be more wrong
And you spat bitterness my way, not a comforting song
You’re hatred and contempt pounded me like sleet
But You never expected I would stand strong
And though you’ve forced my pain to be prolonged
And throughout I had stayed true, never cheat
You insist that I who is villainous and wrong
It is I who loved you passionately for so long
It is you who tried to stop my heart beat
It is I who is strong
It is you who is wrong
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Posted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 1:22 am
Sooo sorry for getting back to you guys back so late. sweatdrop Anywho... MostObliged Darkness: The waking of the shadows beckons your name. Nobody ever hears them except you who gets the fame. The fear rises in you, but they don't mean you any harm. All they want is a little of your charm. I like the theme! The only thing I would suggest is to expand, and add a bit more imagery. You can color it whatever shade of darkness you want so we can picture it too! shadow_demon_ninja_uchiha I wanna try for fun but be warned my English sucks ~ Old dogs can't learn new tricks You are my conviction Your smile that twisted my heart Who gave me a false start Like acid flowing through my brain How good it feels to loath myself and weep I think your English is fine 3nodding just a couple of conventions errors, but those are no biggie. The things I would suggest are to make it a bit longer, so you can more clearly link the title to the poem. If you did that, I think it would be a much stronger work. RobX2000 That Which You've Done After you hurt me, I tried to be strong But all I was to you was sweet. And all you were to me was wrong I remember how we watched the sunset for long And how I told you what I found neat And when you crushed me I tried to be strong You told me that you and I just don’t belong And you left me broken on the street Sure I would disappear, you couldn’t be more wrong And you spat bitterness my way, not a comforting song You’re hatred and contempt pounded me like sleet But You never expected I would stand strong And though you’ve forced my pain to be prolonged And throughout I had stayed true, never cheat You insist that I who is villainous and wrong It is I who loved you passionately for so long It is you who tried to stop my heart beat It is I who is strong It is you who is wrong I really like the fact that you presented numerous images behind your theme/ stance. I can see the way your poem is structured, with the rhyme scheme and repeated "wrong," but the need to fulfill the rhyme makes some of the lines awkward. It's difficult to work with rhyme schemes, but totally possible if you work on it! So yeah, I've caught up with replies I guess? It's still open I suppose. But I'm picky now, be warned if you want to win.
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Posted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 1:31 am
And in case you guys are wondering if I'm any good, here's a poem that you may judge!
The Snowstorm
I miss basking in sunshine,
golden sweet and honey warm--
then it struck like lightning,
a sudden savage snowstorm.
Flecks of arctic ice
slash my summer skin;
Drops of scarlet cinders
sting like fiery sin.
Numb and bitter blue,
I caught a whirling flake--
another fallen angel,
with wings about to break.
The heavens, bleak and gray,
part to starry skies,
embracing something hidden,
unseen by human eyes.
And though the snowstorm ceased,
the frost will always linger;
And now you're just a memory,
just a teardrop on my finger.
PS. I wrote this 2 years ago, for an anthology lol
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