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 Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 9:27 am
This is a small part of the story I am working on for Kazgoroth. I would love any input, good or bad. Don't be afraid to criticize.
One-hundred thousand two-hundred ninety-two years ago on an unknown exact date, in one of the thousands fire filled caverns located in Hell, hundreds of doomed souls started to swirl around and converge in one area, the fire of the cavern seemed to be attracted to that area as well. After several minutes, the souls slowed their movement and the surrounding fire moved quickly into the center of the swirling souls, seeming to disappear slowly. Soon, all of the fire in the cavern was gone into the swirling of souls which soon stilled when a loud, bellowing roar erupted that shook the entire cavern as if an earthquake had just happened right around the cavern, several large stalactites breaking off the ceiling of the cavern and breaking into large chunks of stone when they hit the bottom of the cavern. Through the thick cloud of a silhouette of what looked like to be a large man could be seen, the fire and the souls that had just been in the cavern previously were nowhere to be seen. The dust slowly cleared and the silhouette was no ordinary man.
He stood at a towering six foot ten inches, not including his horns that had a slight curve to them, were as black as coal and were nearly six inches long themselves, making him a total of seven foot four inches tall. His skin was bright red, almost the same shade of red as blood. His eyes lacked pupils, leaving only the irises which were a blood red color, yet showing the intelligence and wisdom that he held. He had a strong jaw, more of a block type face instead of sharp. His entire body lacked any hair, including his head. He was extremely muscular, his upper body was bigger than his lower body, yet his entire body was muscle. His abdomen was perfectly sculpted along with his chest. Though, his arms and legs were more bulging than sculpted. He weighed two hundred eighty pounds of nothing but muscle. At the end of his spine was the start of his tail, which was a dark shade of purple. It was pure muscle, more powerful than any of his other limbs. Along the middle of the top of his tail were sharp spikes that were three inches long and two inches wide across his tail with a spacing in between each spike of one inch. The tail eventually ends with a sharp blade that was four inches long and four inches across at the widest point. The whole tail is three feet long. The base of his tail has a thickness of four inches however it slowly gets smaller along the length of it, ending with a thickness of one inch where the blade is connected. He currently lacked any articles of clothing or armor covering his body, though he planned on changing that some time soon. He did not feel at all the most comfortable with his entire body exposed out to the open for enemies to attack, though he hadn't made any enemies but just being in a place such as Hell, you didn't need to make an enemy to find one. He needed to find armor that would actually fit his body properly, most likely steal it off some of other being that he finds nearby and happens to kill.
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Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 7:25 pm
Sounds neat, can't wait for the rest.....and I'm not stalking you by reading this first in your journal.
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Posted: Sun May 16, 2010 7:46 pm
Haha, it's fine. That is why I put in my journal. I just posted it here so I can get some input from people so I can make it better.
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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 7:36 pm
Ohhh, you didn't tell me you were posting it here.
Cool~
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Posted: Wed May 19, 2010 7:46 pm
Oh? Woopsie. Well, I did. xD Wow. I am the only that thinks it's just decent. xD You are too kind.
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Posted: Thu May 20, 2010 1:40 pm
Hey, as the first person that read it, I think its great.
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