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 Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 3:39 pm
What's the best way to reject someone REALLY persistent without hurting their feelings?
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 3:50 pm
Well there's probably no way to completely not hurt someone when you reject them... but its probably best to stick with one of the typical lines such as "I think we should just be friends" or whatnot.
Good luck with that smile
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 4:38 pm
I think that the biggest problem is that most of the guys that ask me out act like complete psychopaths. They say stuff that pressures me, almost to the point that I'm about to agree to go out with them. Some of the guys that have asked me out have resorted to self-abuse,** (not masturbation, abuse of oneself) cutting themselves or threatening to commit suicide. eek Not only that, but they make me feel bad if I don't go out with them... from http://www.m-w.comMain Entry: self-abuse Pronunciation: -&-'byüs Function: noun 1 : reproach of oneself 2 : masturbation 3 : abuse of one's body or health** PS: One of them just IMed me. HELP! gonk
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 4:47 pm
Well, are these all online o.O? Since if they are you shouldn't take them too seriously.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 4:58 pm
They're people from my area.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 8:13 pm
Subliminal Message They're people from my area. They are scary. Even if they did say they would kill themselves if you wouldn't go out with them, I would still tell them to leave me alone. Anyone who would kill themself because they were rejected from someone they probably didn't even know very well might be better off dead.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 8:43 pm
Metabolic Subliminal Message They're people from my area. They are scary. Even if they did say they would kill themselves if you wouldn't go out with them, I would still tell them to leave me alone. Anyone who would kill themself because they were rejected from someone they probably didn't even know very well might be better off dead. you have a right to say that, but I htink it was a very unkind and insensitive comment. My ex tried to kill himself after I dumped him. He slit his wrists, but his mother found him. *sigh* sometimes you do what must be done, but that doesn't make the consequences less serious.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 9:14 pm
Peter Rabbit Well there's probably no way to completely not hurt someone when you reject them... but its probably best to stick with one of the typical lines such as "I think we should just be friends" or whatnot. Good luck with that smile Having gotten the "Let's just be friends" speech from a guy I was with for nearly two years, I gotta say that you'd best be careful how you use it because it feels like utter s**t to have that said to you.
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 5:04 am
Vague you have a right to say that, but I htink it was a very unkind and insensitive comment. I agree. People like that need reassurance that they are strong and capable friends, but they also have to realize that threatening to commit suicide or hurt themselves will not only frighten people away (the opposite effect they are seeking) but it will also lead to them ending up far worse than they already are. Why did you start talking to the person? Are you their friend? Why did you choose to become their friend in the first place? Think on those, and reassure them that you still care for them as a friend, but that you cannot be with them because you have needs that they cannot ease (i.e. stability of some sort). I've been on both sides of that equation, and I know Vague has as well. Let us know if you need any more help.
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 11:45 am
JoVo Why did you start talking to the person? They IMed me. I never ignore anyone.. that's plain rude xp Yup. JoVo Why did you choose to become their friend in the first place? I don't really "choose" who my friends are. It just happens.
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 5:08 pm
Vague Metabolic Subliminal Message They're people from my area. They are scary. Even if they did say they would kill themselves if you wouldn't go out with them, I would still tell them to leave me alone. Anyone who would kill themself because they were rejected from someone they probably didn't even know very well might be better off dead. you have a right to say that, but I htink it was a very unkind and insensitive comment. My ex tried to kill himself after I dumped him. He slit his wrists, but his mother found him. *sigh* sometimes you do what must be done, but that doesn't make the consequences less serious. I agree there. It is insensitive to say that someone is better off dead. But I would still just tell them to let you go. Someone I dumped said they'd kill themselves if I did leave them. But I took the risk mostly because they had started stalking me, and nothing happened. It was just a way to get attention and keep me to them. So, if you really need to get them to leave you alone, I'd risk it. But check in on them every once and a while so you know that they didn't go through with it. Try to still be friends but don't say, "Let's be friends," because that sounds like crap and is overused anyway. Just let it die on its own.
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 5:56 pm
Izumi-san Vague Metabolic Subliminal Message They're people from my area. They are scary. Even if they did say they would kill themselves if you wouldn't go out with them, I would still tell them to leave me alone. Anyone who would kill themself because they were rejected from someone they probably didn't even know very well might be better off dead. you have a right to say that, but I htink it was a very unkind and insensitive comment. My ex tried to kill himself after I dumped him. He slit his wrists, but his mother found him. *sigh* sometimes you do what must be done, but that doesn't make the consequences less serious. I agree there. It is insensitive to say that someone is better off dead. But I would still just tell them to let you go. Someone I dumped said they'd kill themselves if I did leave them. But I took the risk mostly because they had started stalking me, and nothing happened. It was just a way to get attention and keep me to them. So, if you really need to get them to leave you alone, I'd risk it. But check in on them every once and a while so you know that they didn't go through with it. Try to still be friends but don't say, "Let's be friends," because that sounds like crap and is overused anyway. Just let it die on its own. I think the "Let's just be friends" thing can be acceptable, if you really mean it. And if you don't use the phrase "Let's just be friends." Saying something like, "You're an great person, and I don't want to lose your friendship, so I think it would be best if we didn't date." But...I could be wrong. sweatdrop
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