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 Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 7:52 pm
I have a girlfriend. To give you a brief history-- we were childhood sweethearts when we were 3-6, and I lost some contact with her for a few years, but until two years ago, we've been hanging out in the summer. She admitted to having a huge liking on me even since she was young, and still did, emphasizing it last summer, so with a hesitation on my side because I liked another girl, I decided to become her lover. XP
I liked her for a long while too, so it seemed awfully romantic, and now we are really, really, close, even though it is a long distance relationship. We DO get to see each other every summer though.
Anywho-- the point of this, is I was kinda talking about children in the future. But, she admitted that she's a genophobe(afraid of sex) I'm surprised, and a little worried. If our relationship SO romantic, how can I help her ease out of that fear?
(I didn't really look to put this in the right forum, did I?)
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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 8:18 pm
just tell her that she doesnt have anything to be afraid of and that it doesnt hurt. you 2 might wanna start off slow like with just oral until she gets more comfortable doing that then you can ease her into sex. Hope this helps.
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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 8:25 pm
People can develop a fear of sex after being sexually assaulted, because they have a medical issue that embarrasses them or causes them physical pain, because they have a fear of getting a disease, because they have a fear of getting pregnant, etc.
So I'd recommend talking to her. Find out if she truly has a fear of sex or if it's something else, like disease, pregnancy, being seen naked, etc. Find out if she has any idea what brought on the fear. If you two can pinpoint the cause of it, patience and education might be enough to get her through it.
If you two cannot pinpoint a cause or if you don't seem to be making any progress on overcoming her fear on your own, she should talk to a professional.
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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 10:16 pm
I would suggest psychological counselling of some sort for her, if there's a reason why she's scared of sex, and then you two could always try couples counselling too.
If there's a medical reason why she's scared of sex, you could suggest she see a doctor or gynocologist (depending on the issue).
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Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 10:17 pm
LorienLlewellyn People can develop a fear of sex after being sexually assaulted, because they have a medical issue that embarrasses them or causes them physical pain, because they have a fear of getting a disease, because they have a fear of getting pregnant, etc. So I'd recommend talking to her. Find out if she truly has a fear of sex or if it's something else, like disease, pregnancy, being seen naked, etc. Find out if she has any idea what brought on the fear. If you two can pinpoint the cause of it, patience and education might be enough to get her through it. If you two cannot pinpoint a cause or if you don't seem to be making any progress on overcoming her fear on your own, she should talk to a professional. Basically what she said.
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Posted: Fri Apr 23, 2010 1:50 pm
Yeah, that sounds good,
thank you everyone!
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