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 Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:20 pm
((Lame, lame, lame title, I know. x3 That's what I get for having my sister play the Disney Soundtrack while she was driving us to the mall.))
The black bird ruffled his feathers, shaking them out. It was still cold outside, though a warm front had passed through, keeping temperatures mild and melting some of the ice and snow. It wouldn't last, the slush would freeze over, and winter would strike again - but for now, the little raven was going to enjoy it.
As much as he enjoyed anything.
Still, it was rather difficult to enjoy the afternoon when one was going through a molt. His poor feathers looked more pathetic than usual. They were ruffled and tangled, mostly useless, but weren't quite ready to be plucked and brushed out.
Lucien and he had gotten into a bit of a fight, but Xaxis knew his Boy didn't understand. It HURT to pull out feathers! It was like taking out a chunk of hair with the roots still intact! Some looked loose, sure, but they still weren't ready to be plucked.
So, the boy had trudged outside, away from Shadyside apartment complex. The city was still semi-decorated, their white lights turned on despite the peek of sunshine through the clouds. Making his way down the sidewalk, he splashed through the puddles and kicked up some slush.
His destination was unknown, but Xaxis cared little for particulars. He was out of the house, away from Lucien (sort of - the man was slowly meandering after) and he was free!
He could do whatever he wanted here.
And yet, Xaxis couldn't really think of anything he wanted to do. He wasn't exactly the most playful of children, or the most friendly, or the most open! He existed and observed, much preferring to watch the fools around him, than be labeled one himself.
So for now, he'd keep wandering, occassionally hopping over some of the cracks in the sidewalks.
Lucien was about as "relaxed" as his little bird-friend. Yes, they'd bickered and exchanged a few heated words, but the black haired, ex-prostitute had calmed down easy enough. Sure, he felt a little guilty over the affair, but there was no use crying over spilled milk.
He'd left Xaxis alone, and hadn't offered to help him with his wings. The bird-boy probably knew best anyway. But just because he thought the little raven knew more about feathers than him, it didn't mean he'd let him wander the streets alone.
If he could help it, he liked to at least pretend he was a paternal figure to the boy. Xaxis, for all his aloofness, wasn't invinceable, and had proved to be vulnerable (and a little cautious and shy!) times before.
The boy had worked the city before getting a steady job at the Birdcge, he knew the sort of people that lurked in the allyways. He didn't want Xaxis to have to face them, or get himself in a spot of trouble.
So, Lucien was going to follow. He'd give the raven his space, sure, but he wasn't going to let him wander alone.
Hands shoved deep in his pockets, like a shadow, Lucien followed. He wouldn't interfere or intervene unless instinct told him otherwise.
((OK - kind of lame and pointless, but I'm sick and on medication. That gives me a little leeway for weird/randomness, right? n_~ ))
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 10:26 pm
The woman was on her computer again, and frankly, the Kestrel wanted out. He was adjusting, or trying to adjust, to being closed in, but everything within him screamed against it. He should be free, or at least have the choice of freedom. Sometimes, he'd scream for hours, but she ignored him, so it just made him tired.
He was learning to pick his battles.
Launching off his perch, he flew over to the window, calling once for her attention. She jumped, twisting around in one liquid movement. There was a moment where they simply stared at each other, and he could sense the rise and quick ebb of her anger. She didn't so much mind opening the window, it was leaving it open that she refused.
She no longer tried to finish what she was doing first, a tribute to her side of the comprimise. Instead, she pushed herself up, and slid the window open. Much better.
"I may go out later. The window will be open."
Her words were a distant whisper, he was already in the air, enjoying the brush of cold on his feathers. So much better to be loose, to be moving. But what to do? He wasn't hungry, he'd hunted earlier. Maybe he'd just find a nice perch. Somewhere he could watch the flow of life below him.
Gliding along, following the currents, he found himself drawn to a feeling of familiarity. There, below him. One of his own kind, if not in his form. How long had it been since he'd spoken to a kindred? That might be nice. Spiraling downward, he screamed to announce his arrival.
There was a little store, with a banner hung from just above it's doorway. He landed there, folding his wings neatly, and looking down at the boy.
Don't you miss the wind?
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:29 am
Xaxis recognized the scream of a raptor, and paused in his splashing in puddles to look up. His wings shifted a bit underneath his jacket, cramped and sore and still itching something terribly. But that was how clothing worked, allegedly. And Lucien didn't have time to cut holes for his large ebony wings, and Xaxis had tried once to make clothing comfortable. After that incident, with his good shirt thrown away and Lucien grumbling about ruining clothes, the little raven had given up.
Looking up, he noticed the little kestrel perched on top of a sign. He offered a flicker of a smile, but mostly just stared. Was this one going to be like Calytae or that Rascir person?
He hoped not.
He didn't mind nice people, but sometimes too much singing got obnoxious, and too much activity was just too much.
With any luck, this one wouldn't be too intolerable.
"I do," he agreed, glancing down to stare at one of the cold, slushy puddles. "Sometimes I regret ever having to change. It was nice living alone, with no one telling you what to do, or how to do it." He glanced over at his shoulder, noticing that his Boy had stopped to stare in various store windows.
"You'd best enjoy your freedom while you can."
His monotonous voice was quiet, a smidge wistful. Life certainly wasn't what he'd thought it was going to be.
Sure, it was fun to watch the going-ons of people, but he could've done that and kept his smaller size, and games with the wind.
Like all ravens, and not lost to Xaxis' difference in breeding, he really had enjoyed the wind. Diving, swooping, gliding - now that he was land-locked, it was something he wished he could do again.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2005 11:10 pm
Studying Xaxis, he tilted his head to the side slightly, resettling his wings. The words the boy gave were not of the comforting kind. Could he give up the brush of air under his wings, the fierce joy of swooping down on an unsuspecting sparrow? Was he willing to lose it for the dying ember of a girl he'd attached himself to?
He could still see the light she'd once let burn. It was a powerful call. But, so was the wind. Duty could be forgotten under the influence of a great thermal. Death could be relinquished for freedom. But-- power was a sort of freedom to. And he had none of that, riding the winds. To be little more than an equal to the other birds of simular form, to be prey to the bigger hawks, that wasn't his fate either. He was greater. Expecting more.
I will keep my freedom. A language of krees and mild movements, to be read as words, understood as speech. Not as simple as mind to mind, though there was something of that as well. It could only be shared between two of their kind. It is in me. Not the wind. Sharpness could be read in the tense line of feathers, in the angle of his head. Not anger, just insistance. He was not the girl's. He was only following her for a time. Warming himself by the fire she'd once been.
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Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2005 11:15 pm
Xaxis sniffled a bit, reaching up to rub his nose with his arm. He studied the kestrel, the little raptor that he was, and all his sharp movements and his vindictive nature.
The little raven said nothing, the wheels of his mind working. He wasn't going to argue with the Kestrel, as the bird did indeed have a point. But the kestrel wouldn't understand that many old freedom would indeed be lost. He couldn't understand the restrictions that suddenly became law - from bird to man, from animal to beast.
There were changes, small losses, that happened after changing. Differences so subtle that Xaxis couldn't be bothered trying to explain them. He didn't doubt the Kestrel would indeed keep his freedom, but he did know that the Kestrel wouldn't see what he'd lost until it happened.
Xaxis didn't regret growing. He'd said only he almost regretted the change. There was a large different between almost and truth, and the little raven gained so much more by transforming. As it was with everything, sacrifices had to be made to gain. It was just the way of things - there was, as some put it, no such thing as a free lunch.
But as it were, the little boy stared up at the kestrel. "I miss fresh meat," he suddenly admitted, ruffling his wings slightly beneath his wool jacket. They itched - but he could ignore them. "How goes the hunting for you?"
Certainly, the Raven had never hunted in his life. Occassional insects and fruits, but mostly he had learned to feed off those already dead. Fresh meat to Xaxis was road-kill, to animals he'd eaten and picked at for years.
Now, the only meat he'd been served had been slabs of ground beef. Sure, he feasted bettern ow than as a bird, and his food wasn't stale, moldy or cold, but every now and then he wanted nothing more than to circle and find something dead.
To fly high in the sky and search the familiar scent of death, of blood, of meat.
Surely the kestrel could understand that much, couldn't he? They were both carnivores - though the kestrel had been blessed with the ability TO hunt his own prey.
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:16 pm
It was the first time he'd spoken with another since choosing his partner, and the Kestrel was finding it irritatingly difficult. The bird thoughts, and the higher thoughts meshed together awkwardly, and language nearly failed to capture all he wanted to say. Still, it was nice to speak with kindred, so he continued to try.
We are-- His mind stuttered there, roughly fighting to get mixed concepts into singular words, more than death on wings that comes for meat. We are bright death, true death. We are predator of predators. He paused, collecting himself, wings fluffing out a bit. I am as an egg, and you a fledgling. You will fly again soon. Better flight, full flight. We must sacrifice these winds, for the winds we once knew.
There. And that was about all he could say on the matter, words forced into meaning, meanings forced into words. Not talking was better. Better was the sky and the kill. With that thought, he launched himself into the air, circling higher, getting a better view of things.
Everything, spread beneath him. And there, the movement he wanted. A tiny ungraceful flutter. Mind focused, body focused, he dove.
The sparrow didn't have a chance. Caught and killed, sacrifice to the hunger of something larger, more skilled. He could feel the heat of blood, dizzying almost. But he made no move to eat. He wasn't hungry.
Instead, he dropped his prey at the raven's feet. A small bundle of feathers and blood, offered up to the child.
Fresh meat.
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:58 pm
The raven again, said nothing to the reply. He understood what the bird had to say, again, with the sacrificing of one good for a greater good. Perhaps the kestrel had summed it up best - the winds they once knew.
Xaxis knew who he was, and who he was going to be.
He knew of the death he could cause, knew of the diseases that ran to him like the Pied Piper. Of course, he was very limited in his abilities. They were there, this power that he possessed, but it was very small and slight. As if lost in a fog that had yet to lift. But it would, someday.
Thus far, his abilities consisted of manipulating the power in himself. The colds he caught, the chills, the fevers, the overal miserableness was just part of the plan. One facet of his power, a facet he had little control over.
Disease.
Illness.
Plague.
Pestilence.
It was in him, really. That was his fate, that was what he guarded. The little viruses which sang to him, which ran through his blood and lighted up his soul. Someday he'd grow into that power, into what he knew he should be. Someday, things would be different, even though the child had very little understanding of how it would be.
This was life, was it not?
This was the path he was to follow.
As the Kestrel rose from his perch, Xaxis' magenta gaze looked up to follow his path. Was he leaving? Perpahs, the boy wouldn't be surprised. It wasn't as if he was much of a conversationalist. Still, he'd been pleased to have met the little falcon - he surely was better company than some he'd had the mis?fortune of meeting.
His little eyes watched as the Kestrel circled, nothing more than a small outline in the sky. He wasn't leaving, not really, but he was -
The creature quite suddenly dove. Like a strike of lightening, it killed, and Xaxis instinctively smelled the scent of blood. Death was at hand. When the raptor and its prey returned, the little corpse of the sparrow, still twitching in death throes, laid at his feet, Xaxis could only stare.
For him?
Really?
NO WAY! His eyes widened a bit, before a smile suddenly broke free from his features. He was obviously delighted by the prospect, and he dropped down to his knees to better have at the sparrow.
"Thank you," he muttered, remembering only then he was in a different form, a different state of being. He no longer had to worry about picking at the wounds, or waiting for a larger animal to open up the kill to the succulent, steaming flesh. He could do it himself now.
"Would you like any?" He offered, pushing one of his fingers through the wound of the bird, opening it up like some candy-coated morsel. The good stuff was inside - and it was warm! How long had it been since he'd had a chance to eat warm meat?
Often times the corpses he nibbled were long since dead, soggy, molding and wet. A fine flavor, of course, but the real pot-of-gold was when their bodies were still warm from life.
A succulent treat, and the smile that lighted his face was true.
Lucien was still waiting for his boy. He'd noticed him staring up at some sort of colourful bird. Probably a friend of his or whatever, though Lucien didn't recognize it from one at the shop. Oh well. He'd give the two their space.
But now, seeing the Kestrel return and his boy pick up some dead animal - no way! No no NO. Stomping over a bit, he cleared his throat. "If you're hungry we can pick you up something. There is food at home you know," he almost pleaded.
Sucking the guts out of a little bird. As much as he wanted to be okay with it, Lucien really wasn't.
Xaxis, on the other hand, possessively coveted the dead bird. He turned, the smile draining form his face, a little glower pinning his brows together. "This is ours - I don't want the food at home. I want this." His voice was soft, but there was a endge of a bite to his words.
Lucien wasn't getting this sparrow, and he wasn't going to listen. He'd eat the bird, no matter what. This wasn't just fresh meat, this was the first thing anyone had ever given him!
It was a gift from the Kestrel, end of story. He was going to eat it - and that was that. There was no room for arguing, as much as Lucien might want to try.
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 3:36 pm
Landing carefully on the raven's forearm, the kestrel tore off a piece of the sparrows flesh, gulping it down quickly. He wasn't hungry, but it seemed right that he and the raven should share this thing. That they should be joined by the flesh he had brought down.
I like to hunt. His only response to the thank you. Such graces were beyond him. It was enough that they both savored the meat, together, and allowed that to mean-- something. He wasn't sure quite what. Perhaps only that he could go beyond the instict of a raptor and share his prey.
The human startled him, though he supposed he should have expected it. Even he had his Fire One, though, as he still rode the winds, she couldn't follow him. That Xaxis too should have a companion, was something he should have thought of.
And it wasn't a problem, as long as the human didn't want a portion of the prey. It was only a sparrow, after all. Not much meat to go around.
Instead, the person seemed to want to take the prey away from Xaxis. That wasn't right. Clicking his beak in irritation, he refrained from comment. This was for the Raven to deal with, not him.
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2006 3:54 pm
Xaxis was pleased that the kestrel would share. Another plank added to their slowly growing bridge of friendship. This was his first friend, really, other then the sing-songy one. But that bridge was small, and not quite fully developed. Still, it was a start - one of the two attempts had to work, hadn't they?
And yet, before he could even bother with gutting the sparrow, of fishing out some of its tender innerds and slurping them up, Lucien still insisted.
Insisted on taking it away, on not allowing him to eat.
That was wrong in Xaxis' head. He chose Lucien to grow with, not to be inhibited by queasiness. Whyever Lucien was throwing a fit now, Xaxis couldn't understand. Did he not want him to have friends? Did he not want him to share the bloody bird?
He used to eat carrion before - so why was this such a big deal?
Feeling a bit bolder, especially with the Kestrel's agitation known, Xaxis was ready to fight. Aloof and placid as he could be, the raven wasn't necessarily gentle or harmless.
There was bite behind him, though it be carefully hidden. It wasn't often his feathers were ruffled enough to make him bite, but there was good reason why he shouldn't be poked and prodded.
Lucien, on the other hand, didn't want to see his child eating a dead animal. This wasn't a movie, this wasn't a story of make believe, this was real.
He could see the blood stainig Xaxis' pale hands, and he felt his stomach churn. Lucien wasn't a queasy man, but he surely didn't like the thought of Xaxis eating raw meat. Birds weren't eaten like this. Years of morality, of animal rights, of humanity ran through him. He was trained not to like watching defenseless animals die, and even more so he was trained not to watch a child (sans wings or not!) EAT a newly killed bird.
Who knew how sick he could get? What if the sparrow had fleas or ticks or worms or lice? What if it was sickly and diseased? Then what!? "Xaxis, please, I really - I really don't think you should."
He wasn't used to fighting with his child, so it certainly was something new.
Xaxis was a good kid, so he'd learned. A bit different, sometimes, a bit quiet - but overall they got along. So why all the fuss now?
The raven didn't budge. Pulling his fingers out of the little body, he reached a hand up to lick at the warm blood. It was still hot, but it would quickly cool. The sparrow was small and didn't generate much heat for long after death, and it being winter didn't help the process.
He wanted to eat it now, before it got cold.
But Xaxis wasn't going to fight. Not with talons bared and wings spread. Oh no - he'd fight his war with a different tool. A tool called stubborness, a tool called apathy, a tool called 'I don't ******** care'.
Turning a deaf ear upon Lucien, with the Kestrel still perched upon his forearm, he very carefully headed back down the street. "I never learned how to hunt, not really," he explained to the raptor, wistfulness entering his voice.
"I could only feast on the remains others left behind. But sometimes I'd pretend!" He confided, memories of his previous life distant but there. It seemed so long ago, being a raven, circling over a carcass on the side of the road or allyway.
They couldn't hunt for themselves, but they surely were good at cleaning up after others. Death was always around, somewhere. Death was what kept the raven fed.
Lucien stared. He hadn't just been completely ignored, had he? Ugh. Part of the man felt sick - his boy had just LICKED sparrow blood! SPARROW BLOOD!
And now - now what? Did he berate the child? Did he take away with sparrow by force? Did he let him know who was in control and that he wasn't to be disobeyed?
Lucien gaped, not sure what to do. Who was the one in control?
Part of him really wasn't sure.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 1:54 pm
If all were predators, there would be no prey. The reply was almost distracted, half the Kestrel's attention was on Lucien. He was getting annoyed. Hopefully the woman wouldn't be nearly so foolish. But she had struck him as practical, and meat was meat.
What sort of fool would try to take him from his prey?
Half streaching his wings, he snatched another bit of the sparrow, more to make a point to the man then out of hunger. See, it was good to eat. No reason for all the noise and panic.
I could chase him off for you, if you like. His talons, which held so carefully to the Raven's forearm, could do plenty of damage in a dive. Sure, he was small, but he could do his part. He could be dangerous.
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Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 1:40 pm
Xaxis kept his back turned to Lucien, wings puffed out a bit as if challenging the boy, HIS Boy, to actually do something. Stupid mortal. The sparrow was fresh meat, and more than that, it had been a gift. An offering from the kestrel, who needed not to hunt. This was their prize, and prizes (in his mind) shouldn't be taken away or revoked.
This was their's to share, truly, so Lucien just needed to back away.
Xaxis, who'd figured he'd be let alone, glanced down at the sparrow, reaching up to take a taste of the open wounds. The blood was still warm, sweet on his tongue. The familiar feeling, the sensation, changed only by his new stage of life.
It was heavenly, really. Nipping carefully, coming away with a mouthful of feathers and some stringy meat, the sight could easily be described as disturbing. Sparrows weren't meant to be devoured by human-looking boys - even those with wings.
When the kestrel offered to cut his Boy, Xaxis, licking his lips (blood still smearing his face), shook his head in denial. "That won't be necessary," he explained amicably, already forgetting about Lucien's big-to-do over the meat. "He just doesn't know what he's - "
That was it. Lucien, having gotten over his initial shock to Xaxis display of childhood stubborness and dominance, squared out his shoulders and glared.
No.
If this kid, this raven, was his responsibility, than this kid was going to LEARN exactly who was making money for them to survive. He didn't HAVE to feed the boy, he didn't HAVE to keep him in the apartment (regardless of what he feared Shanuh might do), and he certainly didn't HAVE to take any lip from this child!
Winged death child that he claimed to be, Lucien still paid the rent, and therefor, Lucien made the rules.
Part of the boy felt strange thinking that way (hadn't his foster-family abused that line?) but it was true. Stalking up to Xaxis, he thought nothing of the Kestrel and reached out to grab the boys shoulder, jerking him to a stop.
"Eat the god damned bird if you want, like hell if I care if you get sick and die, but we're going home." His eyes pinned. "NOW." He put on his most intimidating display (which really wasn't all that intimidating) and hoped upon hope that Xaxis would go without a fight.
He didn't release his shoulder, and from his vice-like-grip, he surely had no intention. "Tell your friend goodnight, and lets go."
God - he was turning into a parent, wasn't he? s**t.
Xaxis was horrified. What? Go home? Lucien couldn't make him go home - he was still playing! He wasn't done eating the sparrow, and the kestrel and him were only just getting to know each other!
Flapping his wings a bit, startled by being restrained, the little raven tried to jerk out of Lucien's grasp. Even though he was a tall boy, he surely was very thin and very weak. Fighting wasn't in his nature - though he could taunt, tease, and occassionally even give the appearance of being intimidating. Otherwise, he was a beanpole of a child, and Lucien (despite being just as thin) was still taller AND bigger.
"I don't want to go!" He snapped, all but dropping the sparrow in his moment of panic and fury.
This was unbelievable! Who did Lucien think he was!?
Lucien gave a snort, reaching his free hand over to grab Xaxis by the ear. "Come on," he pressured, "I said we're going!" Just let him try to squirm. He wasn't going to get far with his ear pinched.
Abusive? Hardly.
But the dark-haired boy wasn't going to stand for his bird to throw a tantrum.
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Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 9:12 am
Nature and instinct told the Kestrel to attack, to extend claws and hurt the man who was taking away his friend. He launched himself into the air, circling the fight below him, looking for a good angle for getting at the man's scalp.
But the Raven had told him not to. Had requested that he let things work themselves out. This hadn't been exactly what he'd been expecting.
But there would be other sparrows, on other days. He'd let this be. Fly back to Lithle. Later, later, they would hunt together again. He didn't want to intrude on the battle of another.
((And that's done. Yay!))
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