Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ok,this is a story I've been working on for the past 2-3 years and I hope you enjoy it.If I make any mistakes,tell me and I will correct them.So yeah,I hope you enjoy my story.^^

Brief discrition:In the times of hardship in fudual Japan, two families rage a great war against one another. One a family of half demons;the Animal Swords Clan. The other of full demons;the Samurai Swords Clan. The Animal Swords Clan wishs to make peace with the Samurai Swords Clan, but they always refuse, their goal reaching towards eliminating the half demons because of a betrayal of one of their ansesters hundreds of years before. Amist the fighting, a young half demon from one of these clans is profisized to bring the fighting to a stop and unite these clans through marriage. Follow this young half demon as she goes through the trials of life and learns her destiny.

Symbol of the Animal Swords Clan:
Symbol of the Samurai Swords Clan:

This is a really good start, Scarletleaf. I really like how you set up the background and foreshadowing for the story to come. It definitely makes me want to read more. 3nodding

I just have two suggestions, though.

arrow I would remove the names in parenthesis. Putting things in parenthesis... it's like as the author, you're winking at the reader from the background. It's kind of distracting. It's best to keep those kinds of small explanations out, and leave it up to the reader to pronounce the names as they see fit.

arrow I would also be careful of long sentences. Long, run-on sentences can also be slightly distracting. It's best to keep sentences no longer than fifteen words, if you can easily manage that. Break up longer sentences by dividing them into two, or cutting out unecessary details. heart

A great start, though. Keep it up!

(500 years later)
Chapter 1
Their First Meeting!

It was a bright, sunny late summer’s day. The sun shone down over a tall grassy hill, a large stone castle built at it's cresent. A young 5-year-old quarter cheetah, and quarter wolf half demon girl with long bright flaming red hair and bright emerald green eyes skipped outside in to her family's garden. She picked flowers, humming softly to herself. Her light blue, pink cherry blossom patterned kimono glowed softly in the bright sunlight filtering through the thick, green leaves overhead.
As the young girl skipped past her mother, who was carrying a basket full of fresh picked oranges, she heard her say, "Sukaaretto, don't leave the garden." Sukaaretto nodded once before continuing deeper in to the large garden, picking flowers as she went. Finally she came to a small, hidden part of the garden where her great-grandparents, Makkusu and Erizabesu, lay resting peacefully after long hard life’s of war, and hardship. The small grave was surrounded by thick green bushes, and a small pond lay behind it, reflecting the bright blue sky overhead. Placing her handful of flowers respectfully on the grave, Sukaaretto quickly prayed for her grandparents before slipping back off towards the castle. On her way back she spotted a beautiful red rose that clashed beautifully with her long flaming hair, and picked it, placing it behind her left ear after removing the thorns. Smiling at the new trinket Sukaaretto saw a flash of bright color out of the corner of her eye, and turned to find a bright sunshine colored butterfly perched on a sunflower, lazily opening and closing it wings. Grinning evilly, the young half demon crouched down until her stomach lightly brushed the ground, and slowly stalked towards the unsuspecting insect. Sukaaretto's long red wolf tail softly swished back and forth, and her cheetah ears flattened back against her hair. Tightening her muscles in preparation to spring, she leaned back on her hunches before launching herself forward, towards the butterfly. In the next instant, she found herself laying facedown on the ground, the sunflowers crushed below her. Sitting up and shaking the sunflower petals from her hair, Sukaaretto looked around for the butterfly and found it floating above her head in a kind of teasing way.
Growling under her breath, Sukaaretto muttered, “I will not be out done.” Before she jumped up and tried to get the butterfly, but the beautiful insect fluttered out of her reach, and drifted away through the garden, beckoning the young girl to follow it.
Sukaaretto didn't even give it a second thought before she leaped after her prey, making swipes at it with her claws. The young half demon followed the butterfly through the tall grassy field just outside the garden wall, and towards the dark, menacing forest, leading her down a long narrow path slightly overgrown with tree roots and small bushes. Sukaaretto didn't even notice when she exited the forest, and in to another, unknown tall grassed field. Leaping on to a tall rock poking out of the tall grass she sprang one last time at the butterfly, and landed, not on the ground, but on a person. The person beneath her groaned softly, and Sukaaretto jumped off the person quickly, looking down to find a tall 7-year-old full demon male with long shoulder length bright yellow hair, and bright sky blue eyes, dressed in a dark turtle green fighting kimono laying on his back on the ground.
"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." Sukaaretto said as she helped the young boy up in to a sitting position.
The boy rubbed his head as he said, “It’s alright, and I heal fast. My name's Arekusandaa Osutin. What's yours?" Sukaaretto smiled as she said, "Jonson Sukaaretto."
Osutin nodded as he replied, “It’s nice to meet you Sukaaretto. Uh, do you want to...play? “He finished as a deep blood red blush colored in his tanned cheeks. She laughed as she said, "Yeah, let's play..."She stepped closer to Osutin, poked his forehead, and finished, "Tag, you're it Osutin." Before she turned and took off back in to the tall grass, laughing. Behind her Sukaaretto heard her new playmate laugh too as he said, “No fair, you got a head start.” Then she heard his pursuit.
Laughing, she shouted behind her, "Catch me if you can.” She took off faster. Arriving at the rock she had been at only moments before Sukaaretto climbed to the peak, and crouched down, waiting for Osutin to appear. But he never did. Standing up she looked around for him, and jumped when a voice behind her shouted, "BONZI!" Before she was bowled over from behind, and she and her attacker tumbled over the rock's ledge, and on to the soft grass below. Sukaaretto laughed as she lay across Osutin's heaving chest as he laughed too. She didn’t notice that her rose had fallen out of her hair.
Suddenly a dark shadow flashed out of the corner of Sukaaretto's eyes, and she stopped laughing, the hair on the back of her neck bristling uneasily. Osutin sensed her fear, and his laugher cut off to as he sat up, and asked, "Sukaaretto, are you alright?" But before she could answer a loud snarl ripped through the silent air, and Sukaaretto whimpered, trembling in Osutin's warm arms. Osutin moved his new friend behind him, and stood in front of her in a protective stance, his bright blue eyes showing no fear
Tugging on his kimono sleeve Sukaaretto whispered, "Osutin, save yourself. Don't argue, I’ll be fine; I need to go home anyway. “The blond boy sighed as he said, “Goodbye Sukaaretto." As Oustin turned away, he spotted the small bit of red, and picked up the rose. Sukaaretto’s scent still clung to small flower and he wanted to return it to his friend, but if he turned around, he wouldn’t be forgiven.
Sukaaretto nodded as she slipped out from behind Osutin, and slinked towards the tall grass, but before she reached the grass another loud snarl ripped through the air, and in the blink of an eye she found herself beneath a large black wolf. Coal black lips were peeled back from razor sharp teeth, and bleak, evil eyes stared down at her, a look of pure hatred burning in their black depths.
Thinking fast, Sukaaretto grabbed a handful of the dirt beneath her, and taking aim, she threw it up and in to the wolf's eye. The wolf howled in pain, and stumbled back, shaking it's massive head back and forth, and using it's front paw to try and get the dirt out of it's eyes. Scrambling up, she stumbled through the tall grass, and back out in to the forest, running as fast as she could with her short legs. But the wolf was faster. As Sukaaretto stumbled past the tree line, the wolf overtook her, and swinging it's large paw it hit her, making her fall back and hit a nearby tree trunk.
Trying to sit up, and refocus her vision, since the tree almost knocked her out, Sukaaretto felt the wolf sink it's teeth in to her arm, and start tearing, making her scream out in pain. It felt like she was being torn a part by dozens of small daggers, preheated in an oven until they were scorching. Suddenly, the tearing stopped, and she sagged back against the tree, not able to feel her arm.
Refocusing her vision, Sukaaretto looked down at her arm, and saw that most of the flesh had been torn off, and was bleeding like a small waterfall. Managing to sit up she tried to stop the bleeding by covering the wound, but it just kept bleeding.
Osutin rushed over and plopping down next to Sukaaretto he tried to help her stop the bleeding, but a gruff voice stopped him as it said, “No Osutin, do not waste your energy on such filth." Osutin looked down sadly as he mumbled, “Yes father.” He stood quickly, shooting his friend an apologetic glance, and then walked over to stand beside a tall dark brown haired man with black bottomless eyes.
The black wolf was nowhere to be seen, and Sukaaretto looked around to find the wolf that had saved her, but there was no other wolf, just Osutin, his father, and now Sukaaretto's father, Shoon Johnson, his light blue eyes shining with concern for his daughter. Scooping her up in his arms he cradled her gently against his chest as if trying to protect her. Nuzzling in to the crook of her father's neck Sukaaretto whispered, “I’m sorry papa."
Shoon gently shushed the girl as he whispered back, “It’s alright Sukaaretto, you're safe now.” Shoon turned back to Osutin's father when he growled out, “Jonson!" His eyes narrowed as he spat, “Next time, keep your spawn off my territory, or I won't hesitate to kill her." Shoon sighed as he said, "Jeddo can you not just let go of the past, and forgive and forget? Can you not just resolve matters peacefully rather than just mindlessly using violence to prove your point?"
Jeddo snarled, baring his teeth as he said, “Listen Jonson, don't preach to me how to solve my problems. Especially after what your backstabbing grandfather did to my great-aunt Kyasarin. At least she died with honor, trying to rid this earth of you weak, pathetic excuses for demons." Shoon's eye brows frowned as he said; “Now Jeddo, I am just as important to this world as you are. Just because I am only half demon, does not mean that I am not the same as you, if not in one way, then in another....."But Jeddo only snarled louder as he bit out between clenched teeth, “DO NOT CONSIDER YOURSELF IN THE SAME RANK AS ME HALF BREED! You are just a weak half demon who does not deserve to have strong demon blood flow through your veins. And it was your own grandfather’s fault. If he had stuck to his marriage agreement like he should have, there wouldn't be this problem. If he left rich untainted demon blood like it was designed to be, then he wouldn't have created you weak, useless half breeds. So it's your own family's fault for what has happened! And my family will stop at nothing until your whole family is dead."
Shoon sighed as his eyes softened and said, “Well Jeddo I can not control what you think and how you feel, so I am afraid I will have to drop this matter for now. But one day I hope that you can let go of this hatred and we can be friends like we had once tried to be, and perhaps on that day, our children will be able to play in peace. Goodbye, old friend.” Then he turned and walked away from the fuming full demon, power walking down the path, a sad look in his light blue eyes. Sukaaretto looked over her father's shoulder to glimpse once more at her playmate. Osutin, looking sad and remorseful, spotted her looking down at him, her eyes filled with silent tears, and he waved at her as Sukaaretto and her father disappeared around a bend in the road ahead.
Sukaaretto leaned her head against her father’s chest as he carried her home, cradling her wounded arm as she thought.
Finally, she looked up at her father as she asked, "Papa, why can't I play with Osutin, he and I seemed to play together fine."
Shoon sighed as he replied, “Well Sukaaretto that I can not tell you until you are old enough to understand, for you see there is something between our two clans that is even deeper than you can ever imagine. But I am hopeful that Jeddo will one day forget this whole ordeal, then maybe on that day you and Osutin can play again. For now let me just tell you this: Something in the past has caused our clans to despise one another, and only one person from each of these clans can help solve this problem. Now, that's enough talking for today, it’s time for bed.” He finished as he stepped out of the shadowy forest, and in to the blazing sunlight eliminating everything with it's bright glow. The sky overhead was ablaze with light, and the river down the tall hill glowed brightly as though someone had lit a fire beneath it's depths. Sukaaretto leaned her head against her fathers chest again as she said, “Thank you for saving me papa, and I am sorry."
Shoon once again shushed her as he whispered, “Do not blame yourself Sukaaretto, but next time, please be more observant of your surroundings so that you don't get hurt by Jeddo again. Now sleep my daughter, tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow you begin your training, but it will only be minor, for you are still little, and you need not be pushed too hard.” Was the last thing Sukaaretto remembered before she drifted into a comfortable sleep, the gentle motion of her father's walking that of a softly rocking allayed.
Small emerald green eyes fluttered open to the cool darkness of a large red room. The soft red comforter was tucked securely around a small body, and the red pillows crinkled slightly when a small head lay upon them. Dark red drapes glowed brightly over the large glass windows as they blocked the bright sunlight from entering the cool security of the large room.
The young girl sat up quickly, and swinging her feet over the side of the bed, she landed on the soft carpet, shuffling towards the curtains. She passed a large, red cushioned couch, standing next to a large mirror, where a lone silver brush lay upon the soft brown wood of the tall beau that held up the mirror. Reaching the drapes, the young girl opened them to reveal a tall set of glass doors, leading out on to a large white stoned balcony overlooking the huge garden below, and looking over the tall garden wall, out towards the tall dark trees of the forest set back behind the large grassy field. Smiling, the girl woke up instantly, and turning, she ran towards the tall double oak doors on the other side of the room. Opening them, she slipped quietly out in to the brightly lit hallway, softly closing her bedroom doors behind her.
Suddenly, there was a loud shout of, "SUKAARETTO!" Before she was bowled over from behind, and tumbled on to the floor, someone on top of her. Laughing, Sukaaretto rolled over quickly, and pinned her younger cousin Ze to the floor in a matter of seconds.
Ze looked up at her with wide eyes and she laughed again as she said, “I can still pin your butt Ze, no matter what."
He stuck his tongue out at Sukaaretto as he said, “So what, I’m still faster than you.” Sitting up after his cousin had released him he pouted, and whined, “Why do you and Arekkusu (Alex) get to begin your training, it’s not fair, now I'll have no one to play with."
There was a laugh behind the two as a voice said, "Come now Ze, you know you have to be at least 5 to be able to start training. Besides, Sukaaretto and I will still be able to play with you, just not as often. Besides,you still have at least another month until you begin your own training.” The two turned to find their older cousin Arekkusu walking towards them, a smile on his face. He stopped next to the pouting Ze and the laughing Sukaaretto as he said, "Sukaaretto, Uncle Shoon would like to see you in his office. He says he would like to begin your training now." She nodded and standing up, she dusted herself off, and bidding Ze goodbye she followed Arekkusu down the hall, and they both turned left down the main hallway. Stopping next to the second tall wooden door on the right, Arekkusu softly knocked twice, before stepping back and waiting.
"Who is it? Sukaaretto, Arekkusu? Right, come in.” Came Shoon's answering voice, and Arekkusu opened the door, politely holding it for Sukaaretto before walking inside himself. The two looked around for Shoon, but he was nowhere to be found. Suddenly above them, they heard him say, "Ah, thank you for retrieving my daughter for me Arekkusu, this I much appreciative" The two cousins looked up, confused, and spotted Shoon floating near the top most shelf, a large stack of book in one hand, while the other was slowly putting the books back in their places. When he was done, Shoon floated back down to the floor, a grin on his face, and his blue eyes twinkling with excitement.
"Wow Papa, can you teach me that?" Sukaaretto asked excitedly as she rushed over to her father.
Shoon chuckled, placed a hand on his daughters head, and ruffling it he replied, “Sorry sweetheart, but you're still too young to fully begin to activate your powers. Maybe when you're older, alright?" Sukaaretto shuffled her feet, and pouted as she said, "Alright." Shoon chuckled again and turning to Arekkusu, he thanked his nephew again and handed him a pass for his next class.
Arekkusu thanked Shoon, bowed respectfully, and turned to leave, whispering a soft, “Good luck," to Sukaaretto as he passed and disappeared out the study door, softly closing it behind him. Shoon motioned to his daughter with his hand to follow and she walked behind him over to a large wooden deck near the large brick fireplace. Sitting in the large cushioned chair across from her father, Sukaaretto watched as he crouched down behind his desk and came back up, a large leather bound book with the Jonson family chest on the cover, in his hands.
Clearing his throat, Shoon helped Sukaaretto put one hand on the book and one on her heart as he said in a commanding voice, "Sukaaretto Jonson,do you promise to help protect and defend our clan, The Animal Swords Clan, with your life?” Clearing her throat, she sat straighter and said in a loud clear voice, "I, Jonson Sukaaretto, promise to do my part in protecting and defending our clan, The Animal Swords Clan."
Shoon nodded and bowing his head, he whispered to the leather book, "Oh great ancestors, may you rest in peace, please watch over this young warrior and help her through her trainings whilst she grows and becomes stronger.” Then Shoon looked back up, smiled and said to his daughter, "Alright now Sukaaretto, come over here with me, let us begin your training.” Putting the book away again, Shoon led Sukaaretto over to an empty part of the office.
"Alright Sukaaretto, now show me your best fighting stance." Shoon said as he turned to face his daughter. The young girl nodded and got in to her best fighting stance, her legs spread wide and her arms positioned out in front on her. Shoon slowly circled Sukaaretto, looking at her stance to find any weaknesses.
"Hm." Shoon said as he finished looking at the stance, “Quite good Sukaaretto, except for one flaw." Sukaaretto cocked her head to the side as she said, “What’s that papa?” In a flash, the young girl found herself on her back on the office floor, her father standing over her, a joking grin on his face, “Well Sukaaretto, your feet aren't planted firmly enough, you have to make it harder for your opponent to hit you in the leg and knock you down. Here, go more like this." Shoon helped her up and put Sukaaretto in a different stance, one where her left foot was more forward and her right was slightly back. Her arms were held out the same way her legs were, her long fingers pointing towards the ceiling.
"Good, now let me show you how and where to hit your opponent to hurt them the most." Shoon said as he and Sukaaretto continued with the lesson.
"Phew, well done Sukaaretto, well done. Great first day of training, you’re doing great. Alright, your lesson is over, you may go and play now." Shoon finished as he ruffled his daughter’s head happily and laughed. Sukaaretto bowed respectfully to her father/teacher, thanked him for the great day of training and departed down the hallway. As the young girl skipped happily towards the staircase she felt, somewhere in the pit of her stomach, that after today, her life would change rapidly.