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Do you realize how hard it is to see your uncles body hung by his own hands? And later to watch your best friend hospitalized for ODing? And a month later, your sister-in-friendship attempt the same thing? and the girl you talk with every night admit to being a self mutilator? And discovering the first and only guy who's liked you has attempted suicide and self-mutilation? And to have to sit by, unable to help? And even harder when you have to sit on the sidelines when the same war is fought inside your own head? Leaning toward the sweet release of death...
I just don't know what to do.
There's so much stress and pressure, and I can't see a way to lift it.
I already cut and I'm just scared that something little may put me over the edge.
And I find it so hard to talk about... this is improvement at least...
I'm just so lost...any advice at all?
and I sure as hell don't need flaming.

Suicide is never the answer. If you're seriously considering suicide, think of all the people who will be sad and upset when you leave them behind. Once you die, as Ipstenu said, that's it. You can never come back.

And if you're seriously considering suicide, call a local hospital, call a doctor, look into professional help, and/or call an emergency hotline. Although you've been through several traumatic things, if you want to live, no one can help you until you want to help yourself.

I want to add on a personal note, that I myself was a little suicidal when I was younger. As a result, I know how I'll kill myself if I ever choose to do so (which I hope and pray will never happen).

I also got to hear my boyfriend tell me repeatedly that he had lost the will to live, and that he wanted to slash his wrists with a knife, and go to sleep and then never wake up. I watched him become so dependent on his new friends that they became his reason for living. I watched the boy I love turn from a normal teenager into someone who was depressed and suicidal, and there was nothing I could do because he wouldn't listen to me or my advice, or advice from other people either.

Back in 2003, my parents and I went to my grandmother's apartment, only to find out that she had died over night, and was still in bed. I got to wait for an ambulance to come to the apartment, and I was the ones who led them upstairs to my grandmother's apartment. I saw them wheel her body out on a gurney. I got to see my mother reduced to a child, bawling her eyes out and sobbing because her mother had died. I saw my dad cry for the first time in my life too. When they cremated her, I was the one who held her bag of ashes, and carried it out to the garden to bury them when we had her memorial service 2 weeks later.

So yes, some things in life are hard to deal with. Although I haven't had to deal with the exact same things I had to deal with, I've been through my share of hard times too. If you're suicidal, do yourself a favor and seek help, before your thoughts/behaviour become worse, and before you do something you might regret.

Look, I've tried suicide. Trust me, it is not the way to go. Things can get better. And while it's not ever really easy, life can be fun. I know you're hurt but you can get through it. It takes time and perservearance (not sure I spelled that right.) You'll be okay.
Hurting yourself becomes an addiction. I know I used to do it. When you do it all you think about is releasing the pain of life, but remember you'll have the scars forever.