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 Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 6:54 am
We all have flaws as learning Buddhists, which are hopefully on their way to being fixed. I, for one, have many flaws- one of which has to do with forgiveness.
It's a bit complicated to explain- I'm stuck between forgiving and holding a grudge- especially if several offenses have been made by the same person- anyway... when does forgiveness reach an end in Buddhism? This may be a stupid question but talk.^.^
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Posted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:39 am
Forgiveness is upon the individual not the belief. Nearly every religion says in one way or another to forgive your fellow man of anything and everything, but it is an extremely hard concept to exemplify. It requires a vast amount of humility and even then can be difficult.
One amazing story for you, I don't know where your from but I'm in missouri and just a few states away there was a school shooting in an Amish community. 7 of the 9 students were killed and the other 2 were put in critical condition before the kid commited suicide. At nine pm that evening the parents of all nine students dropped by the shooters parents house and forgave them and asked them not to hold a grudge against the memory of their own child. To be able to give forgiveness only hours after someone has taken your child from you is beyond an amazing feat, it is almost unbelievable. It was actually the sheriff who reported this because he had been called about a large gathering of amish individuals heading for town, he was expecting a riot.
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TheManWhoLivesintheClouds
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Posted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 7:17 am
In all honesty, the only one who really hurts big when you hold a grudge or nasty thought is you. The other person probably doesn't even know, and if they do, they likely don't really care. Fact of the matter is, you hurt yourself through this - you'd be better served by letting it go.
Easier said than done, but it does work. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Mar 29, 2010 7:22 pm
I understand your problem because I tend to hold grudges myself ... although not to individual people but to organizations and corporations (Republicans, Monsanto, banks, credit card companies, insurance companies, etc.)
This is even dumber, because they are intrinsically indifferent and incapable of remorse.
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Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:38 am
yeah as Byaggha already stated, grudges hurt you more than they do the other person. Unfortunately it seems that we seem to value those grudges for various reasons. Learning and recognizing that those grudge are unnecessary helps in the forgiveness process.
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