Welcome to Gaia! ::

This is going to sound stupid, but I have no one else to ask where HE can't see. A few months ago I dumped my boyfriend, and took him back twice. He says I hurt him alot, but it wasn't exactly on purpose you know? Now he's being mean to me and taking his 'revenge' while still saying he loves me. He says it's karma and that's how it works. But if he's hurting me on purpose that's not exactly Karma is it? And it doesn't excuse his behaviour does it? Especially when I feel bad enough, I've started to completely hate myself again, which I understand isn't really a good thing for someone who's becoming increasingly interested in Buddhsim. How am I supposed to love anyone else when I hate myself so much? So is he being unacceptable or am I just crazy?

sweatdrop The only reason I ask here is because he's supposedly a toaist/buddhist, but in serving his revenge and writing it off as karma, isn't he creating bad karma of his own? This is so confusing. gonk

Retreats to room and locks herself in, banishing all confusing thoughts, and never comes out againt. gonk

This depends on exactly what he means, and exactly how you hurt him.
Regardless, however, this is your own karma, which you should try to understand before it even arises.

There is a story that I remember being told, about a monk, who was sitting in meditation. As he sat there, another monk came along, and started spitting on him (weird, I know). The meditating monk said to him, "Even though you keep spitting on me, I will not get angry."

He knew the other monk was creating bad karma, but did not fall into the trap himself. Why am I saying this? Because no matter what other people do to you, your actions are your own responsibility.

No, that's not karma. Well, it is, but not the fruits of your karma. He is creating his own bad karma, and he will reap his rewards when the time comes.
If you did create any bad karma, just live it out with an accepting and non-judgemental heart. Good or Bad, it doesn't really matter. There is no "good" or "bad".

And if he makes you feel this way, and you truly do hate yourself when he starts to be mean to you, then perhaps you'd be best distancing yourself from him until he realizes his mistakes, and his karma.

Thank you! You've all been a huge help sweatdrop I thought I was right, but I wanted to make sure. I know my actions are my responsibilty, but certainly he can't punish me and say it's my 'bad karma'.

To Weliviell- I showed him -v3)Hate is not overcome by hate; by Love (Metta) alone is hate appeased. This is an eternal law.- That, but he said it's a load of crap. He says Buddhism is a load of crap, and then argued with me why it is. (Because now he's just a 'toaist'.) And then he called me shallow because I'm interested in Buddhism, when I used to be in Islam, and my changing (more blending the two though) my mind is me being shallow. Bleh, I give up. crying

You being shallow? Sound like he might be doing projection of his problems on to you, maybe that why he is mean since he has some issue he needs to sort out. But I'm not you so I can't be certain unless I experienced what was going on. You should still keep loving kindness in dealing with anyone so if you leave him, be nice about it 3nodding .

Not to be nasty, or seem paranoid, but can you trust that he's not making up the depression diagnosis?