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 Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 8:03 am
I might be posting this in the wrong subforum...please let me know if I did....thankyou.
I have plenty of emotional scars from the past and I was wondering should I post them how many of you would be willing to offer advice for dealing with them and how many of you can relate in a similiar or exact fashion...please let me know as soon as you get the chance.
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Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 2:50 pm
Well it's very hard for any of us to contribute to your issue if you don't tell us what it is. The point of this guild is to help people with any of the issues it addresses so if you have something to ask then we will answer what we can.
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2005 8:33 pm
I'll be here for any one-on-one conversations if thats what you need, but as Chalda said, that is the point of this guild. biggrin
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Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 6:33 pm
This is only one of the many emotional scars I have had to overcome or deal with in the course of my life.
As a baby I was adopted(YEAH!!...not a problem) My adoptive mother (whom I thought was my real mom) died when I was 10 yrs old....about 13 years ago(I'm 23) and they still didn't tell me the truth(no big deal) and they don't until I was 19..again no big deal) A year ago Thanksgiving Day I found my real mother....and ever since then I haven't actually mourned for my mom or found myself missing her half as much as I did 3 days before I met my real mom for the first time.
I want to know is this normal or is there something wrong with me?
I'm crazy right?
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Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 9:22 pm
From what my adopted friends tell me, that's not too abnormal. Most likely you're pushing your sorrow over the loss of the mother that raised you, and covering it with the delight of finding the mother who gave birth to you.
Not to make you depressed, but if you cared for the mother who raised you, try to remember her and the good times you had with her over the years. While it is a joy to find someone you lost, you should never forget the ones you've had. Neither of your mothers can be replaced, and in their own fashion, both likely have and will love you.
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 12:40 am
I wouldn't say you're crazy at all. smile Remember that although she was your adoptive mother, she did love you in her own way, and she considered you her daughter.
If it might make you feel better, you could ask your real mother why she gave you up for adoption, if you haven't asked already. Maybe it will help you understand why she did what she did a bit better. But chances are she loved you too, even though she gave you up, and hopefully you two can have a good relationship now that you've met up with her again.
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:34 pm
I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. You probably mourned for your adopted mother for a few reasons. You missed her as a person, but you also missed what she was in your life. You have been able to fill one of those gaps by re-uniting with your biological mother. This doesn't make you a bad person or mean you love your adopted mother any less. It just means that you life is happier with a mother figure in it. And that's ok. I'm sure your adopted mother would have wanted you to be happy and start to move on from her death. You never forget but you don't have to dwell.
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