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Wow, that's weird. I read the word 'Night' in the title, and my mind went right to the book instead of the time of day, and lo and behold, it's about the book!


Anyway, I really like the message you send across, it's done very powerfuly. The only thing I would recommend is changing a few words because the timing is off. I know it's free verse, but for example, the line "father and son relationships dissipate," is a mouthful compared to the other lines.
So yeah, I like the poem, love the message. Feel free to take my suggestion or leave it, since it may just be personal taste.

It's great! Some of my suggestions would be making the line "To show the world what hate looks like" into "To show the world what hate is" instead so that there is some degree of a partial rhyme with the first line ending with "takes." The second to last line can also be changed as well, from "one long night is all that it takes" to "one long night is all that it needs" in order to have a rhyme with "asleep."

That's all just my personal opinion taste though. Nice poem! ^^

Thanks so much for the tips.

I am starting to feel bad since I am not good at helping others. I can never think of what to say. I have been trying but for the most part all I can say is It's good so I mostly don't say anything since it's not helpful.

First, I have to state: I have not read the book, so I'll have to look at this on its own.

Personally, I want more imagery in the father and son line. Perhaps the word 'relationships' could be switched out for 'bonds'; it'd give you more room, beat-wise. The word relationship has a more clinical feel, as well. Perhaps "darken and fade" to keep with the obvious theme.

Try the third line without the word people, see how it sounds to you.

Other than that, it's a decent piece. I don't know the book, so that's all I can say.