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 Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:31 pm
 K.R.Y.S.T.A.L.
Well...technically it's not my journal, it's just a huge mix of all the random things I've been writing when I got bored, and wanted criticism on.
Constructive criticism is appreciated, and please don't just say, "It sucks." because that's not a good enough reason for me.
…Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down.
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Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:35 am
The poem was beautiful. I can't really write poetry, so I respect anyone who can. As for the story, it's well written, but you changed tense. You went from past to present, "But still, I think it’s worth it to ruin the moment than to have them be the biggest news of the year."
It would probably would have been best if you had said "thought," and form the rest of the words after to match it. And just as a reference from here on out, when writing it's always better to spell out "OK" as "okay." Also, "apologise" is spelled, "apologize." But that's just a minor slip up that every writer makes, and is the reason we have editors.
Good job, keep up the good work! biggrin
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Naomi~Guardian Vice Captain
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Naomi~Guardian Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:47 pm
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