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Tell her the truth. If he was truely that controlling and abusive, then you'll want to help her from suffering the same fate. Hopefully you're good enough of a friend, and he doesn't have too much of a hold on her so that she won't believe you.

Best of luck to you.

I think it's a tragedy on your part that you had to deal with someone that you didn't like, especially someone that was controlling. You're a lucky one to be able to get out of it before it got worst. There are a lot of relationships that really turn out really bad because someone is controlling and they don't get out soon enough.

As far as the relationship that they're in. I don't think it's exactly right for you to judge their relationship because that's something that they share together and you really shouldn't judge. Maybe she likes to be controlled like that? People can be very surprising when you really get to find out who they are.

I would recommend that you just leave it alone and go on with your life. You're broken up and it's probably time for you to move on. However, if you do insist on doing something about it then I would talk with the girl just once unless she wants to talk more otherwise. Simply state that you have no intentions of getting with that person nor do you want anything to do with it. State what you have to say about it and leave it alone. Let her deal with what you know in her own way and don't say anything else about it.

Laveneder- Hmmm, your best friend, huh? Wow....didn't you confide in her about the negative aspects of this boy? I know that my best friend would have been the first to know. I'm surprised that she would take up with him. Let her find out for herself, I guess.

I am more concerned about your second description of this young man....slightly abusive. What exactly does this mean? I define 'abusive' as someone who hits. Does he hit slightly? If he hits, I believe you are morally obligated to warn her of this behavior.

Abuse is abuse. It amy cost you a friend but she needs to be warned! Pushing and shoving will escilate into worse abuse. Take it from one who wound up in hospital!

I went to a friend of mine who also split from her husband (we were both married and divorced ) she was shy and did not meet too many people, so getting attention from my ex after her distant neglectful husband was a real treat. He was really charming to me in the beginning too. I spoke to her and told her why I had to leave that marriage, her response... "Oh your just jealous! He told me you would say stuff like this! I think it is terrable of you to go around lying about someone like this!"

However, when he lost custody of our kids for abusing them too, she finally dumped him, she had a little girl... I have reason to believe he molested that little girl too, and she was only 3.

It was worth the risk to tell... we still do not speak, but she and her daughter are safe. It took a court believing me to convince her.