|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:18 pm
Ok, I got a couple of issues im dealing with, and I was hopeing someone in here could help.
Problem 1: Ok so heres this guy, he really liked me, and asked me out, I said yes, feeling pressured into the fact of just having a boyfriend. Then I found out he "dated" two of my friends, and stalked them, so I dumped him. He wants to get back, So I said no, but now, for some reason Im devolping all these feeling for him, but part of me sitll wants to get him out of my life forever. I Feel like my past is comming back to haunt me when I see him, and At this point, I dont know what todo.
Problem 2: One of my friends, Just recently got a boyfriend, who she claims to really like, (they known each other for like 2 weeks) and he wants to sleep with her now. At frist, I was convinced she would say no, after all, we go to church together, and she has a purety ring, (even know she too lazy to wear it) It seems like I tryed to convince her out of this like a billion times now and everytime all she can say is..."I know...I know..But I really want to." Please someone help her, I cant watch her throw her life away.
Problem 3: Diffrent friend, went out with this guy, who I couldnt stand, she thought that I was being jealous and went out with him anyway. 3 years later, she found out that he was cheating all over the place, and finally came to realize that I WAS RIGHT! now she has come to me, for adivce, how can she get over someone she spent so much of her life with? well, I couldnt really answer that, cuz im not known to make commitements to retarts like him. Help her?
Extra Problem(not involving boys): Ive been living on the dark side for too long now, and I dont know who I am, or were I belong, My friend wants me to see a therpist but im not sure how I feel about it, help me? I believe I can handle this, ON MY OWN!
*the reason im not metioning names is Because of everything it could stirr up if I did*
sorry if you dont feel comfurtable answering this, It just i thought that If I wanted some good advice, I needed to come to my fellow christians.
-JAZZIE<3
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 4:03 pm
I am definitely not the one to ask about relationship advice. That being said, I can comment on this:xox_Free Hugs_xox Extra Problem(not involving boys): Ive been living on the dark side for too long now, and I dont know who I am, or were I belong, My friend wants me to see a therpist but im not sure how I feel about it, help me? I believe I can handle this, ON MY OWN!
You can't handle your problems on your own. Sinful people can never be good on their own, and without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). Christians are those who give their very selves to Christ. So long as you place God above anything in your life and strive to please Him, you'll feel better than you could ever hope for. The place you belong is in Christ, even if the entire world hates you for it. You will be hated by all because of My name, but the one who endures to the end, he will be saved. (Mark 13:13) For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness," is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:6) for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. (Ephesians 6:8-10). Personally I think therapy is paying someone to listen to you, which I don't believe is worth it, and they often suggest materialistic ways for you to cope with your situation. I recommend opening up your Bible and reading through the New Testament and try to learn as much as you can from Scripture and make yourself a Godly person pleasing to God.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:28 am
Spike gave the perfect answer. I'm going to try and answer as a brother. Prob 1: Could you honestly see yourself spending the rest of your life with this guy? I'm talking marriage. The golden rule of dating is to never date someone you wouldn't marry. Doesn't mean you have to marry the first person you date, just means they should match the characteristics of what you want to be your future spouse. Prob 2: I will tell you right now, I want to have sex with my girlfriend and she wants to have sex with me. We've been together for almost four years. Both are still virgins. It's not what you want, it's what is better and what God says (which is better). Be the good friend even if it could possibly hurt your relationship. Tell her the truths of what her actions would do and tell her how much you care. If her boyfriend is pressuring her into having sex or trying to get that idea in her head, he is the wrong guy. In fact, since he wants to have sex with her, he IS the wrong guy. She should dump him this second. Prob 3: Three years is such a short part of our lives. three years ago I was a sophomore in high school, now I'm graduated, facing life in the face, and working at making a career for myself. I'm assuming that she is still young, so that means she has decades to look forward too. If he was the wrong guy, then she needs to simply move on. It's not uncommon to be anxious or to feel confused after a long-term relationship. It's just a part of life that she has to get over. I hope my brotherly tough-love helps. As always, the first thing you should do is look to God. You said that you've been living in the dark side, but you come to us with compassion and love for your friends. No one know you better than God. He knows exactly what is troubling you even if you don't. Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. The answers are there, all you need to do is look for them. I know how it feels to be "on the dark side." I was there once, too. I was miserable, I felt sic all the time and hated the world, and I wanted to genuinely end my life. I was a churchian and not a Christian. My world flipped upside down from the moment I became saved. It took me years to actually start wearing black again because I despised it and it's link to my past. Look to God, be optimistic, and PRAY. I cannot emphasize more how important prayer is and how just shooting off a simple "God, help this homeless person on this street corner" or "Be with this kid who gets picked on" can do. Pray in expectation and in faith.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:05 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:46 pm
Anytime 3nodding You have our prayers wink
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:54 pm
Okay, I may be a little late, as Spike and Haven have already given such good advice. I'll try to add what I can...
Problem one: I agree with what Haven said. There's no point in dating someone you honestly can't see yourself spending the rest of your life with. I had a similar experience with a girl. I was trying to get over my first girlfriend, and I met this other girl, who I could clearly see liked me (and went on about how she wanted me to ask her out... not sure why she didn't ask herself, but I digress) and I eventually cracked and asked her out. I realised she wasn't the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and realised that it would have been a cruel waste of time to spend any more of my life as her boyfriend. We're still friends. So I guess you should just do what feels right in this situation. You should definitely pray about it first, because even if you love someone, if it's not God's plan that you end up together, then you won't end up together; it's much less painful to ask God first rather than finding out the hard way you were going against Him.
Problem two: Well I'm assuming she's a Christian, since she goes to church. You should just explain to her that a) (and most importantly) God tells us to wait, and b) sex unites a man and a wife. If you do it before marriage, then you're constantly going to be comparing your spouse to all the other people you've had sex with. And if they're not very good at it, it could get in the way of the relationship. And if you love someone, you don't want something as stupid as that to get in the way of the relationship. I suppose you might not be able to convince her, so just pray for her.
Problem three: Getting over someone doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. I was with my first girlfriend for ten months, and we broke up over six months ago and I'm still not sure if I'm over her. I have no idea how it feels to break up after three years, but I'm sure it's hard. I guess the best thing she can do is pray. She should definitely not simply date guys at random to get over her ex. As I mentioned in my answer to the first problem, dating isn't something to be taken lightly; it's a complete waste of time if you honestly don't see yourself getting married.
And as for your extra problem, I assume this means you're not yet saved. Firstly, Jesus loves you and wants to save you. He knows you can't handle life on your own, and He knows that He can help. He's waiting there to help you. All you have to do is ask Him. I know what it's like to be "in the dark" (am actually listening to a song with that title at the moment... random fact of the day), and I know it's not fun. Just surrender. Let Him save you, because He's waiting for you.
You definitely have our prayers. smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 1:55 pm
Ok the three amigos there got to this one waaaay before I saw it, but your last bit there about being on the dark side really struck me, as I found myself using the same words not even two weeks ago. I felt lost, like a ghost wearing a mask pretending to parade around, but what was underneath the mask I didn't know, and I didn't want to find out, because it felt like a deep, dark hole there that I would plummet into as soon as I dared to try and resolve it.
My boyfriend kept telling me to meditate, since it's something our youth group has been working on for months now, but the fear of exposing that part of me kept getting to me, and I would blow it off. I promised God I would, but then when it came down to it I'd go and find something else to do. Your friend's therapist idea would have sounded great to me then.
Point being, I eventually was forced to meditate, at youth group the other night. Our preacher switched off the lights, left us with a prayer to focus on, and silence enveloped the room. I found myself thinking of what had been running through my mind in the past weeks, the feeling of being lost and alone, and that led to a silent confession to God of how I'd turned my back on Him and had been scared to turn back, scared He wouldn't take me. And guess what? He was waiting there in the silence for me with arms wide open, with a few words my close cousin used to lovingly tell me a lot: I told you so. It made me laugh, and that was the best feeling in the world, to experience His love again on that level, to feel Him whisper in my heart once more for the first time in months.
You cannot resolve this on your own. Confess to God what you feel. You'd be amazed at what you will find waiting there for you. I really hope this helps you out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 6:46 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
