It's amazing, I'm the reason,
everybody's fired this up evening...
The simple drumbeats start as the arena lights dim blue. As the song starts, Ian HD steps out into the arena, turning slowly to allow his fans to soak him in, a girl following close behind. Tonight, his girl is a bottle-blonde with more silicon than most GI Joes. He's wearing a pair of aviator glasses and a pair of slacks with a white dress jacket, the letters 'HD' stylized across the back. He walks toward the ring slowly, taking his time to survey the crowd. By the second chorus, he enters the ring and heads for the far turnbuckle, jumping up on it and removing his aviators for a pose to the crowd. He jumped back down and grinned amiably, grabbing a microphone as his music died down.
"Ladies and gentlemen, trust me, it's not a trick of the eyes. I am that amazing. Now, for those of you who haven't caught up with the future yet, let me introduce myself. I..." He paused for a long moment, looking around. "...am Ian HD. And I have good news for you. Here's the deal. You came out here to see something new, something amazing. Something that you can't be. Something that is better than you, something that is nearly superhuman. You know, something that you can aspire to be. Something that maybe, just maybe, your genetic line will create in a few more rounds. Instead, these people parade out the same old tired acts that you've seen before. Well tonight, that changes." He paused for another moment, grinning.
"See, I do things a little differently. A little better. So when I got to the arena tonight, I decided not to do any of the backstage chatter, not to try and find the bigshot who's in charge, instead I'd just do things my way. That is to say, the more efficient way. So I found some cheap skank for you all to stare at." The blonde took on a shocked look for a second, clearly offended. "I mean, what makes you imbeciles happier than something you can stare at that you don't have at home?" He crossed his eyes and grunted slightly. "Ooo, woman. Me want woman." He laughed and shook his head. "Some I brought out some cheap streetwalker with me tonight. Trust me, I dove below my standards to make sure I had your attention."
"That done, let's cut to the chase. I want someone from the back. Anyone will do, as long as you're a name that these people will recognize. Let's see..." He pulled out a small notepad, reading off names. "Mike Landry? Matt Stone? Harli? Cyrus Everblaze? Sin? Nuke? Josh Danielson?" He threw the notebook away. "I don't really care. Anyone and everyone can come out here. So, c'mon, give the people someone that they know. Someone that they love and respect. Someone that they think is worthy of adoration. And whoever, WHOEVER is sent out here....I will give them an upgrade, free of charge. And I will make them.....HD Ready."
