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TearDrops-Of-The-Furries Vice Captain
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 Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:37 pm
A girl invites her boyfriend home for dinner and tells him they'll go for a long ride after that.
Boy is eager and gets his motorbike checked at the garage. The mechanic tells him everything is ok except the tank cap, which is slightly loose. So as to avoid water going in. The boy immediately purchases a tube of vaseline and heads off towards his girlfriends house.
Upon reaching there his girlfriend tells him secretly that the situation in the house is bad as nobody at home has done the dishes or chores for several weeks and the house is a complete mess and that they had decided that whoever speaks first today at dinner would clean up everything.
Boy enters the house and sure enough the place is unbelievably dirty and everyone sits down silently at the dinner table. The boy gets a mischievous idea and jumps on his girlfriend rips of her clothes and has take her in front of everyone.
Girlfriend gets excited, mom is embarrassed and dad is furious. But nobody speaks a word.
After sometime the boy gets another idea and this time goes to mother and has s*x with her. Mother is excited, daughter and father are infuriated. But still nobody speaks.
A little more time passes and the boy hears a clap of thunder and remembers his bike and whips out the vaseline and gets up when the father screams ,"OH NO. I' LL DO THE DISHES"
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:43 pm
A man in a pub asks for a beer.
The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar."
"One dollar?" exclaims the man. Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars."
"Two dollars?" cries the man. "You're joking. Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife"."
The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
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TearDrops-Of-The-Furries Vice Captain
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TearDrops-Of-The-Furries Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:44 pm
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:46 pm
A man goes hiking. he gets tired after a while and finds a cave to rest in he sees a shining light at the end of the tunnel its a magic lamp he rubs it and a genie pops out.
The genie says, "I will give you three wishes but there's a catch, everything you wish for your wife gets double."
So the man says okay.
First he wishes for a convertible, the genie says, "OK your wife gets double."
Then he wishes for a million dollars, the genie says, "OK your wife gets double."
Then his last wish is, "Beat me half to death."
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TearDrops-Of-The-Furries Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:53 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:46 pm
One Day a Bear and a Rabbit find a lamp...they rub the lamp and a genie pops out and says that they both get 3 wishes...the rabbit goes first and wishes for a big house to live in...the bear goes next and wishes that all the bears in the forest where girls except for him...the genie says "wish granted"...next the rabbit wishes for a pill of carrots to put in his house..the bear wishes that all the bears in the state were girls except for him..."wish granted"
then the bear goes again and wishes that all the bears in the world were girls except for him...and the rabbit says " I wish this bear was Gay".
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Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 9:49 pm
A Brunette, a red-heard, and a blonde get captured. And are lined up getting shot one by one. The brunette is first, the captain says "Ready, Aim," and the brunette points and says "Tornado." The soldiers turn around and the brunette escapes. The red-head is up next, the captain says "Ready, Aim" and the red-head points and says "Hurricane." The soldiers turn around and the red-head escapes. The last one up is the blonde, the captain says "Ready, Aim," and the blonde points and says "Fire!" rofl
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