Everyone knows Rudolph has a big, red shiny nose
And Frosty comes to town every December when it snows
But did you know that those two never really got along?
I bet you've never heard this Christmas song...
"I've paid my dues for years and years,
I'm Santa's very favorite deer,
so I should be the second in command at Christmastime,"
Says Rudolph
"Pull the sleigh where Santa goes
and light the night with my red nose,
I think it's time for me to get what's mine"
"Night lights are replaceable
a talking snowman's magical;
my agent says I need a bigger piece of Santa's pie"
Says Frosty
"I bring children real joy,
not just the latest stupid toy,
I think it's time for me to get what's mine"
Then Rudolph rang his reindeer bells
Turned and sang with all the elves
Hey Hey Hey!
Santa's on his way
You'd better stop that bickering before it's Christmas day
Ho Ho Ho!
Egg nog and mistletoe
And Santa's gonna take a torch and melt you to the floor
"Frosty, you've got coal for eyes,
when things get hot you won't survive,
so get out of my way, this job is mine, all mine (now snowman step aside),"
Says Rudolph
"Rudolph, man, your claim to fame's a lightbulb and a funny name, and everybody knows I'm next in line"
Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won't you kiss my corn cob pipe
Hey Hey Hey!
Santa's on his way
You'd better stop that bickering before it's Christmas day
Ho Ho Ho!
Egg nog and mistletoe
And Santa's gonna mount you in his living room for show
"Hey Rudolph!"
"What?"
"I wrote a song about you!"
"Oh boy..."
"You wanna hear it? Here it goes!
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And when old Saint Nick saw it
He thought it would look really good mounted on his wall"
"Oh you think that's funny? Well check this out:
Frosty the Snowman
Was a puddle on the ground
And a makeshift scoop for the reindeer poop
Is the best use for his magic hat I've found"
With a nod of his head,
Rudolph took to the sky,
and swooping down, he gouged at Frosty
with an antler to the eye
But Frosty struck right back
and grabbed his bright red nose,
and turned it right into a popcicle
as Rudolph's whole head froze
But Rudolph broke the ice,
shook his antlers twice,
and raced back in to strike again
But then a "Ho Ho Ho!"
came booming from the sky,
the echoed voice of you-know-who
With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly
And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye,
Saint Nick
With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder
And a "Ho Ho Ho!" and a "Look out below!"
Saint Nick
With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly
And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye,
Saint Nick
With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder
And a reindeer call and a "Dash away all!"
Saint Nick
"You two ougtta be ashamed,
you've sullied Santa's perfect name,
this operation would go down the drain if I retired,"
Says Santa
"Neither of you gets the job,
so go and join the Grinch's mob,
and Merry Christmas both of you,
you're fired!"
Then Santa broke into a smile
Said, "Everyone else stay awhile!"
Hey Hey Hey!
Santa's here today
And now it's time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits
Ho Ho Ho!
Everything's alright
'Cause Mrs. Claus has whipped us up a Christmas feast tonight
Hey Hey Hey!
Santa's here today
And now it's time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits
Ho Ho Ho!
Everything's alright
'Cause Santa's having venison and snow ice cream tonight!
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