I have this extreme compulsion to touch others. Not in any sexual way, but to just....well, touch.
I suppose a bit of hist ory would help. My family isn't affectionate at all, and as a child if my sister or I would try to hug or kiss them, they would put cigarettes in our arms and yell at us to get away. Parents, aunts, uncles, older siblings or cousins.
Currently my sister has no mental health issues- she's a straight A student, star athlete, and popular among friends. However, to family, she's very cold, callous, and extremely hateful.
I on the the other hand am a straight C student, star procrastinator of projects, and I'm popular among the cats of the household. I also have G.A.D- General Anxiety Disorder, and I have to take medicine for it every morning. I also have compulsions.
At first, these compulsions just seemed like quirks- opening books just to smell the pages, folding napkins into cranes, touching people's faces, things like that. Over time though, these seemingly harmless 'quirks' evolved into full-fledged compulsions.
The book-smelling and paper-folding I can live with, but what began as a simply touch is now extremely scarey, even to me. I long for the feel of skin- the clothing/warmth of others. Even if the person intended to do bad things, I wouldn't mind for the sake of feeling the touch of another.
Now, I've been to multiple counselors, physchologists; taken perscribed medicine, tried herbal remedies- even schackling my wrists to my belt so that I can move my hands, but not enough to touch others. Nothing works... When I meet, greet, or hang out with someone, I want to touch them, feel their skin. As you could imagine, this is a bit unsettling... My family ostricizes me. I cannot make friends this way...
Does anyone know what this is? I've looked up OCD, Touch Sensory Disorders- nothing fits the bill. Any and all advice, ideas or even theories and help would be amazing and graciously welcomed.
Sincerely,
Lovely Lolita Love
I suppose a bit of hist ory would help. My family isn't affectionate at all, and as a child if my sister or I would try to hug or kiss them, they would put cigarettes in our arms and yell at us to get away. Parents, aunts, uncles, older siblings or cousins.
Currently my sister has no mental health issues- she's a straight A student, star athlete, and popular among friends. However, to family, she's very cold, callous, and extremely hateful.
I on the the other hand am a straight C student, star procrastinator of projects, and I'm popular among the cats of the household. I also have G.A.D- General Anxiety Disorder, and I have to take medicine for it every morning. I also have compulsions.
At first, these compulsions just seemed like quirks- opening books just to smell the pages, folding napkins into cranes, touching people's faces, things like that. Over time though, these seemingly harmless 'quirks' evolved into full-fledged compulsions.
The book-smelling and paper-folding I can live with, but what began as a simply touch is now extremely scarey, even to me. I long for the feel of skin- the clothing/warmth of others. Even if the person intended to do bad things, I wouldn't mind for the sake of feeling the touch of another.
Now, I've been to multiple counselors, physchologists; taken perscribed medicine, tried herbal remedies- even schackling my wrists to my belt so that I can move my hands, but not enough to touch others. Nothing works... When I meet, greet, or hang out with someone, I want to touch them, feel their skin. As you could imagine, this is a bit unsettling... My family ostricizes me. I cannot make friends this way...
Does anyone know what this is? I've looked up OCD, Touch Sensory Disorders- nothing fits the bill. Any and all advice, ideas or even theories and help would be amazing and graciously welcomed.
Sincerely,
Lovely Lolita Love
