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 Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 4:17 pm
Doesn't sound like the perfect arrangement at all. If he's cheating on his girlfriend for such a trivial reason and doesn't want to break up with her, I doubt he'd support you through your pregnancy. You're putting yourself at risk. Even if you use protection, the potential to become pregnant is there, and if it happens, you need to make a choice. The only way to surefire not need to make that choice is to stop fooling around with him until you know you can make that choice. You honestly deserve more than being "the other woman." No woman deserves that. We aren't just bodies for men to stick their dicks into and plant their seed. We aren't babymakers, and we aren't sex toys. If he's just dating you for sex, he's probably not going to help you much with any choice that doesn't involve abortion because that's the easiest out for him. But is that what's best for you? Maybe you feel it is, but that won't be the reason he would push for it. At least, it sounds like. I mean, I don't know him. But I have known guys like that, and I've dated guys like that. They tend to be self-absorbed. It's up to you whether you take that risk, but if you get pregnant, either way there is potential for psychological damage. Is he worth risking it?
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 6:20 pm
Yeah, I know he needs to end it. He needs to get rid of the money problem he got first. Came back to Missouri from California and wasn't told that doing that would revoke his insurance and liscense. Then he got in an accident. Now, he's told me that he can't take anymore with how she is. He needs the money though because he's living with her and can't get kicked out until he is able to pay for a place.
Actually neither pushed the other that day, it just happened to go to the sex, was only planning on making out.
Mind you well before this their was a lot we knew about each other.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:15 pm
That makes a bit more sense, but it still worries me slightly that he doesn't have much respect. He's in a situation where he's staying in a relationship for money. So even if he wanted to help you, he wouldn't be able to, should you become pregnant. He's essentially using a girl for her money. It still sounds like he cares more about himself than he does about other people and would put his welfare above yours, but maybe I'm just paranoid. I'm used to guys jerking out. Sorry, I just worry too much I guess.
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Posted: Thu Jan 12, 2006 9:52 pm
Not using her for her money. She works 4 hours a week (spends it all on pot and then sits around most of the time doing nothing) and he works two jobs 65 hours a week. It's all because of that accident that he has the money problems. Plus he buys the stuff they need (like a new fuel pump and probably the work for her car).
Plus this is something else I should share. Before he came back the woman he was dating had a child from a previous relationship. He fell into the father role for the child.
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2006 11:39 am
If he's staying with her because he needs a place to live, he's using her, plain and simple. If that is the only reason he doesn't break up with her, he is using her for her home, if anything. If he's paying for her things, might there be a bit more of an attachment than he lets on? If he didn't pay for the things they need to live, then he'd be able to afford a different living arrangement. Whether or not it would be convenient is another matter, but if he can afford to pay for the things they want, how is he dependant on her and if he is not dependant on her, what reason does he have for staying in the relationship? It's the easiest way, yeah, but it's not treating her right and it's not treating you right. Aren't you two worth enough that he could make the extra effort to treat you both with the respect you deserve?
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 12:34 pm
I definitely think in your case shouldn't go through that, too many health conditions. I'm for the artificial womb thing to.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 8:09 pm
lymelady If he's staying with her because he needs a place to live, he's using her, plain and simple. If that is the only reason he doesn't break up with her, he is using her for her home, if anything. If he's paying for her things, might there be a bit more of an attachment than he lets on? If he didn't pay for the things they need to live, then he'd be able to afford a different living arrangement. Whether or not it would be convenient is another matter, but if he can afford to pay for the things they want, how is he dependant on her and if he is not dependant on her, what reason does he have for staying in the relationship? It's the easiest way, yeah, but it's not treating her right and it's not treating you right. Aren't you two worth enough that he could make the extra effort to treat you both with the respect you deserve? I don't know the whole story but if my boyfriend ( if I even get one -_-) ever cheats on me, he's won't be my boyfriend for long. I say they need to break up if their in a relationship like that, weither he's using her or cheating.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 8:19 pm
oujo26 I definitely think in your case shouldn't go through that, too many health conditions. I'm for the artificial womb thing to. Which is something I'm 100% hoping is found. Oh and with the guy from winter break. Haven't done anything else with him. They're still having problems but I'm not gonna let myself be in the middle. But sex on a trip is amazing. Just thought I'd throw that ancedote in.
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Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 8:31 pm
Vivnox oujo26 I definitely think in your case shouldn't go through that, too many health conditions. I'm for the artificial womb thing to. Which is something I'm 100% hoping is found. Oh and with the guy from winter break. Haven't done anything else with him. They're still having problems but I'm not gonna let myself be in the middle. But sex on a trip is amazing. Just thought I'd throw that ancedote in. Eh, the only sex life I be interested in is my own. Other wise I could care less. As for the arficial womb, even if they have it how would they put the fetus in there without killing it or having it die? That would be one of the biggest problems besides the fact how will it eat? You would have to cut the imblucol (sp?) cord to separate from the mother and without it it won't be able to get the nutrients that it would need. Too many problems that won't allow it to work. But my some big merical it does work, there will be less killing of the fetus (they did nothing, I find it so work to kill them just so you don't have to deal with it).
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:57 am
icemaidenyukina Vivnox oujo26 I definitely think in your case shouldn't go through that, too many health conditions. I'm for the artificial womb thing to. Which is something I'm 100% hoping is found. Oh and with the guy from winter break. Haven't done anything else with him. They're still having problems but I'm not gonna let myself be in the middle. But sex on a trip is amazing. Just thought I'd throw that ancedote in. Eh, the only sex life I be interested in is my own. Other wise I could care less. As for the arficial womb, even if they have it how would they put the fetus in there without killing it or having it die? That would be one of the biggest problems besides the fact how will it eat? You would have to cut the imblucol (sp?) cord to separate from the mother and without it it won't be able to get the nutrients that it would need. Too many problems that won't allow it to work. But my some big merical it does work, there will be less killing of the fetus (they did nothing, I find it so work to kill them just so you don't have to deal with it). I heard somewhere (I'll try to find a link or something) that artificial uteruses have already been developed, the research has just been supressed because of politics... gonk
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:49 am
They've still got a long way to go until they can start using it with humans, right now they're only using it with mice. I think there was an article about it in the pro-choice guild. Man, that was ages ago though. Most of them argued that it wouldn't end abortion because women should still have control over their DNA. Which made no sense to me, but I guess I'm just a woman-hater. I'll go try and find the link. Edit: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=1249982there we go. I might be wrong, actually and thinking of the wrong thing, but I'm pretty sure I'm not. My browser's taking forever to load so I just gave up and copied the link location.
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