|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:06 pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months.
I know this isn't a very long time, but I feel as if we might have something good here. He makes me feel nice and I like him, and he likes me too. I think about him a lot.
He is really sweet and does things that no boy has ever done for me. He takes me out to nice restaraunts, and pays for me. He holds my hand and calls me his baby. We can talk about almost anything. He walks me to my door when he drops me off. We talk on the phone for hours about serious things, and silly things. He calls me just to say good night, or good morning.
We are both 17, but in different schools. I still go to high school (senior), and he goes to college (freshman). I still get to see him fairly often though(Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday). I met him last year when we both went to the same school, and we were very good friends.
Basically, I am liking the relationship. :]
He treats me much better than my Ex (we broke up 6 months ago) did.
When we first started dating, however, he was still talking to and seeing his Ex. The two of them would hang out alone, and it bothered me (although I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want to be too controlling).
[They broke up mid/late August. They had dated for a year and a half. She broke up with him. He found out that she cheated on him (and had sex with) with one of his friends, who she left him for (that only lasted a week).
She later wanted to get back together with him, because she came to the realization that she was still in love with him. They decided to "try it out" for a week in the begining/mid September. In this week, they had sex once (which was apparently her idea, and felt wierd cuz THAT GUY had been there) It didn't work out. He decided that he didn't want to be with her.
During this week, he had been flirting with me (I had no idea that he was "trying it out" with her that entire week). Another week and a half or so passed, with some heavy flirting going on, and then we had our first kiss. We became unofficial. We were "seeing each other" as he phrased it. (When someone else asked me out he told me to tell him that I was seeing someone.) Two weeks passed, in which we were "seeing eachother", unofficial, whatever you want to call it. Then he finally asked me out in the begining of October.]
Eventually, I told him how much it really bothered me that he was still talking to his Ex in person and on the phone, and spending time alone with her. He said he didn't realize how much it bothered me, and stopped talking to her.
Now two months have passed.
And he wants to talk to her again.
Not to the extent that they used to, but he wants to be friendly with her, and be able to hang out with her with other people.
I told him that this would bother me. But he told me, that I was trying to be too controlling.
Btw, I have it from a reliable sourse that she still likes him.
It's not that I don't trust him, I just can't help but be bothered by this.
So I would like a second oppinion, and maybe some advise one what I should do, please.
Thanks. :]
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:35 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bloody-Melons Vice Captain
|
Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 10:14 pm
Hmm. Jealousy. An ugly little biatch. Heh.
If I was in your situation, I'd be a tad jealous too. BUT you really can't control who he talks to and when. You need to trust him.
I kinda feel like a hypocrite. I'd be really jealous. ._. In fact, if I told my [pretend] boyfriend that I didn't like him talking to his ex and stuffs and he told me I was being controlling, I'd probably get super pissed and throw a pie in his face. >_>;;
Then I'd run off and talk to MY ex alone. See how HE likes it. D: Heh.
I'm giving REAL shitty advice right now. Sorry. D: I'm a bit tired.
Heh. Well, all I can say now is I hope things work out for you. >.< If you ever wanna talk, feel free to PM me.
-Mel-
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 04, 2010 12:48 am
Ahh thats rather tricky isn't it. First of I'd like to remind you that simply expressing your concern does not make you controlling, given their past you have reason to feel a little shaky about them having a relationship again and have the right to request from your boyfriend that he make an effort to smooth any fears or questions you have on the matter.
However you dont have the right to control who he can and cannot talk to and doing so isn't going to help out your relationship (alas!) But from what i can gather, when you told your boy your original concern he listened to you...and his request is not to hang out one on one with her but see her in a social context with others present...both really good things; sounds like he's willing to really try for you and is being considerate of your concerns smile so at this point I'd say he's still worthy of your trust!
Btw is there any reason why you can't tag along to these events where the ex gf is?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 11:34 am
Well if you want to think about it like this. Instead of its his ex, it may just be and old best friend. If they were dating for that long they are bound to know each other very well, and not just physically. If you signifigant other is supposed to be your best friend so its not really surprising after a period of time he wants to talk to her again. I still talk to one of my exs whom i got really close with and were best friends.
If youd want my advice let him, but you really need to find out her intentions. If you really trust him than the reason why its bothering you is either:
A) You dont trust her to not jump on him
Or
B) Your going to judge yourself to the standards of old(her being the old) and the fact he still talks to her is because theres connections in which you havent reached yet.
If its A, than find a way to get all 3 of you, and possibly more depending you there are any mutual friends as being there alone can be awkward, into a group outing of some kind until you can put to ease your worries.
If its B), than thats an insecurity issue and theres really nothing much more that can be done but give yourself time. They were dating for a year and a half and you two have been dating for a couple of months so theres things he feels more comfortable going to her about rather than you. Soon enough you will be at that level.
Hope this helps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:23 pm
Ah what a complex situation.
Hmm, well it all comes down to communication and trust. If you both have a strong relationship and you trust him, then let him speak with her.
I know that is difficult to see or hear, but as long as he is with other people while with her then it shouldn't be so bad. Maybe even see if you can go with him when he hangs out with her and some other friends.
I can understand why this would upset you, and hearing something like that would make me a little jealous and maybe even a little troubled. He does know for a fact that this bothers you, but fighting over it might cause the relationship between the both of you a little rocky.
However I suppose I could also see how things are on his side. My ex-boyfriend and I are still really good friends, and although he still harbors feelings for me, I sadly don't return them to him. Just friends haha. We however still hang out and talk about serious things when times are troubling, and if I should happen to start dating someone who had a problem with that I would be quite upset. Just because him and I are friends, doesn't mean I would turn around and cheat on my boyfriend, I would be honest enough with the person whom I am in a relationship in, letting that person know if and when we hung out.
So communication, trust, and honesty. That is what is needed most in a situation like this.
Hopefully I was able to help a bit with the situation.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 10:01 pm
its never good to talk to your ex specially if they are single and lf your depress and they might like you again and you do the same so dont talk to your ex you should to your bf and see if he is ok with you talking to him just in case he might have a feeling that you might like your ex
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
