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 Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 12:51 pm
Ok, I have been a member of this guild for a while...since about a week before my baptism I think (I was baptised April 25, 2009) But I didnt really know what to say, and was a little shy until now...when i really NEED somone of my faith to talk to.
Ok, before we get into my dilema, let me just introduce myself. My name is Sylvia, and I'm 14. I am in Independecne 4'th ward, and the church changed my life, for before it, I really hated God for the life I was in, and was battling with cutting, bulimia, suicidle behavior, and drugs. while after my baptism, i stopped drugs and eventually cutting, i'm still struggling heavily with bulimia.
which goes to this...feeling bad about destroying Gods temple(my body) I tried to get help behind my parents back (thier non-members who really hate the church, and really make living at home as a Mormon difficult). when i was forced into nonactive for about 2 months, i started falling back into reckless things, but this time with guilt because i knew what i was doing was wrong. (no more drugs, but cutting and recently...sex)
i want to talk t the bishop, i really dont feel like repenting is enough, but i dont feel like i can. its been a while back now but the anxiety is building up, and i cant even really look at him in the face, or attend the church I love so much comfortable anymore...i know i'm kinda loading alot to starangers...what what else can i do? what SHOULD i do? IS repenting enough for something do defiling?
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Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:28 pm
Well, you have to really think about what repenting is. Repenting is more than just saying sorry. Of course you should apologize to God, but repenting is a process, and a huge part of that process is to work at overcoming the sin.
If you look at it that way, repenting is always enough. =)
The bishop is your friend. He is a stranger, but the minute you speak to him privately in his office, you will feel like you've known him for an eternity. Make sure you tell him everything. I can't stress this enough. He is there to help you as a loving and caring son of God. Put your trust in him. He will provide you with reading material, goals, tremendous support, and may point you toward group support as well. Ask him for a blessing at the end of your visit.
Your bishop and your ward will help make things easier for you. =)
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Posted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 7:37 pm
*hugs tight* don't worry too hard. It'll all work out if you do all you can and trust in the lord for the rest.
Yeah you really need to go to the bishop. He's more than just a leader ya know. He's the father of your ward and he will definitely help you out with any problem you have. he won't look down on you and he'll help you through every part or the repentance process. I don't know much about it but I know that he'll help you.
Sounds like you've got a good group of people in your ward. trust them a little more and they'll help you through this and keep you going. Life isn't easy, but it doesn't have to include wallowing in things. You'll do fine in time. ^^V best of luck and keep at it!
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:06 am
Repentance is not saying you're sorry. Repentance is change.
I was there when I was your age (Wow that makes me sound old). I didn't do drugs, nor bulmia but I had an addiction that I couldn't stop. Eventually, I went to my bishop but that wasn't enough for me. I still hated myself and it didn't seem to work.
I went back to my addiction. Again, and again I did until finally I had enough. I wasn't happy. I was ruining my friendships and my relationship with my family. I was hurting everyone around them. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to go back to church and forget about everything I did but I had to go to my bishop still. I went back to my bishop (a different one each time) and talked about the same thing. This process occurred countless times over the course of several years.
When I started college, I wanted it to end completely. I cried and I cried to my Father in Heaven for help. For the strength that I needed to actually go talk to my bishop. And he answered my prayer. I went to church and, as I sat in sacrament, I had this feeling that I needed to talk to the bishop that day and get everything resolved.
And I did.
Now, I'm reading my scriptures more. I'm actually doing my homework more (which I never really did much in high school) and I'm going to the Temple this morning with my roommates and ward. Something I haven't been able to do for along time.
Honey, I know what you're going through. It's hard to quit things but you have to be stubborn and resist the temptation of it all. Talk to your parents about the bulimia thing. I know you don't want to tell them but they are there to help. Moms, especially, are the ones who can connect with you the most. I know my mom is my best friend and I tell her almost anything.
Bulimia is a dangerous thing. It can cause death. I'm serious. The same goes for anorexia. You need to seek professional help. That's what they are there are.
We can't go through this life alone. Whether if it's for a married life, a single life or whatever. When we go through trials, our Father in Heaven is right there for us. He's our DAD. He watches over us. Picks us up when we fall and kisses our wounds when we've scraped our knee. He's gentle, merciful, kind. The list goes on and on. Christ died and was resurrected for a reason. He did it for us.
Repentance is hard. It's a long process but it's worth it in the end. Trust me. I'm going to the Temple to do my family's work and I've never felt so alive and happy! It's all baby steps. That's all it takes. One step at a time.
Primary answers. Read your scriptures and pray. I know not everyone wants to hear them. I sure didn't but, eventually, I read my scriptures more and I prayed for guidance. What a blessing they both are! Just by doing those two things has helped me build my testimony and love the church even more. It's true today as it was when it first started.
The Lord loves you, sweetie. You're His daughter. His princess, heir to a kingdom that you will one day receive. The Lord will never leave your side for a moment. Even in times of despair. We're all walking the same straight and narrow path. Some of lost their way and wondered off of it but the Lord never leaves your side. He's there to take your hand and guide you back. Heavenly Father wants to see your beautiful face again. In person. He wants to wrap His arms around you and embrace you in a hug. He will always love you.
Satan will always make sure that you don't know that. Any feelings that you have that tell you that God hates you or that He doesn't love you IT'S NOT TRUE! It's Satan trying to get in. Don't let him win. The bad guys NEVER win in fairy tales and they don't win in real life.
Our Father is there to help you darling. That's why He gave us parents, bishops, stake presidents. That's why He blessed us with friends and everyone else who is in our life.
I know it's hard going to the bishop but you can do it. You will be much happier once it's all over. It's like a band-aid. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and do it.
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