Abusive Relationships

[Neccasaurus Rex]

Addykat

Edge Zero

Quote:

• Forces you to have sexual intercourse or engage in sexual acts against your will.

For the record, this is considered rape/sexual assault. If your significant other is doing this, it really needs to stop. Doesn't matter if you are in a relationship, if you say no and they keep going - that is rape.

Sadly lots of people don't see that. :<

@Kaliea: GAY. It was Kevin's gf wasn't it. ;(
 

[Addykat]

chinotenshi

Addykat

Edge Zero

Quote:

• Forces you to have sexual intercourse or engage in sexual acts against your will.

For the record, this is considered rape/sexual assault. If your significant other is doing this, it really needs to stop. Doesn't matter if you are in a relationship, if you say no and they keep going - that is rape.

This is a lot harder to get out of then you think. confused

What do you mean?

If you press charges any court will (should - I understand that some people are like *eyeroll*) take your side. Sure, he'll try to talk you into it and maybe yes, you've consented in the past, but for ANY reason you are allowed to say no. And if he doesn't respect that ... :[  

[Felin Greenleaf]

My ex used to worry about cutting her hair because she thought it would make me mad.
In my defense I just started to get really annoyed because like every time I'd say I liked her hair she'd go cut and dye it so it was like...
"Do I like your hair? Why in the hell should I answer that? If I say yes you go change it, and if I say no you whine."

So that doesn't count.
Right?
Ohgod I'm not abusive without realizing it am I?  

[chinotenshi]

Addykat

chinotenshi

Addykat

Edge Zero

Quote:

• Forces you to have sexual intercourse or engage in sexual acts against your will.

For the record, this is considered rape/sexual assault. If your significant other is doing this, it really needs to stop. Doesn't matter if you are in a relationship, if you say no and they keep going - that is rape.

This is a lot harder to get out of then you think. confused

What do you mean?

If you press charges any court will (should - I understand that some people are like *eyeroll*) take your side. Sure, he'll try to talk you into it and maybe yes, you've consented in the past, but for ANY reason you are allowed to say no. And if he doesn't respect that ... :[

The fear that if you do press charges or try to press charges, they'll do something extreme, like beat you, rape you more, try to kill you, try to commit murder-suicide, etc. makes it very difficult to approach the authorities if you have nowhere to run and hide. The mental state that the abuse gets you in, makes it seem like there is nothing you can do to get out of it.  

[Addykat]

It's hard to get out of that mental state but there -are- places you can go, shelters to protect women from that happening. If you DO end up going to the authorities they can contact specialists and keep you safe from any backlash from him.

Unfortunately nobody really knows about stuff like this. :c  

[A Corpse RIP]

The thing about abusive relationships is that it always starts out mental before becoming physical abuse. Abusers know what they're doing, and wont start hitting or anything like that until they're already locked in the mental cage.  

[Homosexual Zombie]

Addykat

It's hard to get out of that mental state but there -are- places you can go, shelters to protect women from that happening. If you DO end up going to the authorities they can contact specialists and keep you safe from any backlash from him.

Unfortunately nobody really knows about stuff like this. :c

I was in an abusive marriage, and I knew about these things. I still didn't go. It's not that no one knows. It's very easy to find some place to go, some one to talk to. That's not what stops someone. It's the fear. It's the reprecussions. It's knowing you could, might, and will most likely lose someone you love even though they treat you like s**t. It's restarting your life, and getting away. Putting behind your past, and fixing yourself. It's moving on. It's not easy. Sure you can encourage someone, and don't give up hope and yadda yadda yadda, but unless you've been there, it's hard to really understand all the things that make you put off getting help, or taking control. There is just so much you have to do some times. So many things you have to realize and admit to.

Also, you have to think the authorities can only do so much. They can't solve everything. They can help you. But when it comes down to it, a restraining order is only a piece of paper. It's not 24 hour body guards. Things have to be horrific in order to get that sort of thing, and even then, you might only have the cops drive past your place occasionally. I won't say they do nothing, because they can certainly help, and anyone in an abusive relationship should go to them for help. But don't expect a miracle over night. It takes time.  

[Summer_Night]

Xiporah

I put up with s**t I never thought I would put up with. It completely cocoons your brain from rational thought to the point where a cheating behavior is forgiven because NO ONE ELSE WILL WANT YOU. Prove that you love me. I can't do any better. I have to save him from himself.

Yeah.... You start thinking you have to save him, and then it's all about him no matter what. And when you get upset, he turns it around and tells you he's so messed up and you're "the only good thing" and that he "doesn't deserve you". And then you feel like it's your fault for upsetting him.

And even once you're out of the relationship, it takes a long time to admit, even to yourself, what was going on. It takes a long time to deal with it, and move on.