 |
Hey so, this may be a long post. Sorry in advance. I am kind of lost and confused, so I don't really know what to do, or even where i should post this. If you know a better place, please feel free to more it.
I will start off with a hi though! I am new here, just joined today. My name is Haydn, I am 24 years old, still attending College. I am not Christian though...at least, not yet. Technically I am Jewish since my mom is Jewish. She proclaims that she is an atheist though and hates anything to do with religion, especially Christianity. My brother is pretty much the same, only not to the extreme that my mom is. Lastly, my dad is Catholic, but ever since coming to this Country, he hasn't gone to church much or anything. So i haven;t grow up with any religious influence really. I always said i was impartial to whether God existed or not, maybe Agnostic even, but never an Atheist.
Even though I wasn't sure as to whether there was a God or not, I will admit that I used to like to talk to him, or liked to think i was talking to him and not just being crazy XD. Anyways, being the greedy child I was, I would mainly just wish for things. The thing I would wished for the most was a boy. I was always a hopeless romantic, but I was always pegged the nerd in school, so no one really ever liked me like that. That made me lonely. So i always asked God for a boy to save me from this loneliness.
is this starting to sound familiar? It may because 2 weeks ago I had posted it on the morality and religion forum. I retracted it a few days later because people were tearing me apart, so i deleted it because they had made me feel ashamed of myself. People can be so harsh at times.
Anyways on with my story. So about 2 years ago I met this boy, and we eventually became boyfriend and girlfriend. His family and him are Christians. At first my mom wasn't so pleased with the idea, so I told her he was questioning what he believed in (which was kinda true anyways). She felt better about it after having me tell her that. Anyways its been about a year and a half, and we are still together. My family loves him. He's family.....i don't think loves me as much. I think mainly because i am neither a Christian or Republican, but i think I am growing on them.
The other day we were talking about the future, and he was telling me that he would like to raise his kids Christian, and that if we were to get married he would want me to learn everything there is to learn about the faith and teach it to our kids. I never really thought to much about religion until then, I guess mostly because my mom would kill me or kick me out of the house if i became religious (well maybe not Judaism, but anything else.) Anyways that has got me thinking about what i believe in. The part of me that believes there may be a God wonders if God really did listen to me, and sent me a guy who is trying to save me. I feel so silly when i think that though, and apparently, so did half of gaia.
I don't really know what to do yet. We got a few years, so it's not like i am pressured. If we do end up getting married though. My mom would never want to see me or the kids that's how much she would be against it. So it makes it hard , because this would cause a rift. He isn't going to force me though, he says if I want, I can still stay Jewish, and our kids can still be Jewish. He just wants to raise the Christian because that is all he knows, and he loves the community and support. He wants the kids to be able to have that.
Anyways, I want to be open minded, so he bought me a Bible (one study to keep at his place, one normal to read at home( have to hide it from my mom)). He just got it a few days ago, so i will get it next time I get over there. Any recommendations as to what I should start reading. I am pretty new to everything, so I don't know where to start.
sorry for the long, rantish post. I am just confused. I got to do a lot of soul searching, and i didn't know where else to go. anyways, i look forward to meeting all of you. Thanks for hearing me out.
|
 |
Reply
