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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:07 pm
Try not to regret, The decisions you've made, You chose the monster, The beast, Ove your children. 7 clicks, Of that famous watch Tells us you've missed the years. Rarely a word passed, Through the air, whispers carry, Of terrible, cruel thoughts. Almost 15, Thats what their watches spell out, So clear, Like that fire that rests under your skin. See how their lives have changed, How they have changed. You know nothing, Of the beautiful flowers that have blossomed. And finally, They've had enough. She snaps and spits, Telling you things you wish you knew. She cries and wails, Then turns around, Shoulders shaking, Head bowed, And walks away. With each step, her head rises and the tears pause, As she gains strength. She returns to her savior, The one who kept her alive, When you stopped the sunshine. She wont be returning again.
Dedicated to Daddy Dearest, whom this poem is about. I rarely write about my own life, when writing poetry, so this is big. When I do, it's about the really bad stuff, or the extrodenarily good stuff. My dad has no catergory, but he's more to the bad side then the good.
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Posted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:00 pm
Hun bun, ^ ^ (haha) I really like this poem, it's deep, it's very deep. I really like it though I sent shivers down my spine. I love it alot, goodjob darling. ^ ^
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B3autiful_trag3dy Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:02 pm
Thank you Em. It meant a lot to me to write it.
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Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 8:38 pm
It's a nice poem, but it does confuse me some, probably because I have no real context to look at it. On an aesthetic view of it, it could do better if the longer sentences were shorter, and the shorter ones were longer. But on an emotional level, the feeling were able to come thru very well, which is a strong measure of the quality. So I think it's nice, but it still makes me kind of sad.
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